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As polling begins across the country and the three main political contenders take a quick respite, the bloggosphere is alight with some last-minute thoughts to help voters make an informed decision. Fed up with dull political broadcasts and concentration on manifesto small print, online Web logs in Britain have exploded full of vibrant ideas and observations, effectively serving to compliment banter heard only before at Hyde Park Corner. The main blog issues range from the economy, taxation, asylum, immigration, Iraq, public services and perhaps most crucially, the character and personality of each of the three political contenders. Across the Web, there is criticism for all three - whether it is Tory leader Michael Howard, New Labour architect, Tony Blair or Liberal Democrat leader, Charles Kennedy. All of the blogs however seem to have one thing in common; namely they are dissatisfied with the current political climate and need to vent their frustration through online web diaries. “The only problem is the lack of political choice,” confesses Freerepublic.com. “With due respect to [Charles] Kennedy, with whom I would be happy to have a glass of whisky or even two in one of Kiev's Irish pubs, he has the air of someone who landed in British politics by accident while on his way to the dentist's[sic].” The Liberal leader though is not the only contender in the sights of Freerepublic.com, which predicts the anti-war Democrats will not win the General Election, meaning they can no longer prove they are “guys like us.” “Smiley shark-like Blair who can assume he'll be forgiven for all his little and not so little lies - US president style - can sleep "sound" (as they say in Liverpool). The voters will not give the Lib Dems the opportunity.” Another blogger, also tallying with today’s poll by the Times/Populus which puts Labour in a clear lead despite recent opposition gains, is certain that Tony Blair is heading for a successive third term victory. “For what it's worth: I'd vote Tory this time,” admits a disillusioned Andrew Sullivan. “Blair will win anyway. But his creeping expansion of the welfare state must be resisted and reversed. Another Labour victory might just convince the Tories to go back to advocating much lower taxation, a smaller state and far more decentralization. Here's hoping.” But in Bethnal Green and Bow, one blogger is calling on Labour supporters to turnout even in the dying hours to stop opposition parties, including George Galloway’s ‘Respect,’ from making any last-minute gains. HurryupHarry says: “The Guardian give George Galloway a column two days before the election - an act which effectively endorses him. Shame on them. “If you are sick of hearing about him here and everywhere else then help ensure his political career finishes on Thursday. Oona King's campaign need extra hands in the next three days her office number is…Even a few hours in the evening could help make the difference.” Elsewhere across the bloggosphere, some web diarists have resorted to posing as a politician in order to rock the vote, belittle parties they disagree with and generally poke fun at today’s process. Alistair Campbell Spot is one such blog able to combine recent gaffes in the press, with political satire normally reserved for the BBC programme, Have I Got News for You. “Just sent an email from Alan Milburn – taking forever to go out,” writes Campbell, who later turned to be a thirty- year old woman logging on from a betting shop. “Really cannot be doing with new technology. Even MH [Michael Howard] has got hold of some computer programme to help him identify just the voters he needs to target in marginal seats. Never heard such a load of bollocks. With just two days to go he really should be spending time looking for a new job rather than wasting time on unreliable technology.” Meanwhile, there is another type of blog - adopted by genuine MPs, established political observers, and prospective political candidates. Then there are the blogs that ridicule this batch of online diarists. The Church of the Militant Elvis Party is one such example, whose website even contains spoof pledges to voters, entitled in the ‘Erewash Manifesto.’ “Our candidate isn't too keen on foxhunting but loves "Blair-baiting" and will give this vibrant pastime his full support,” it reads. “When elected our candidate will present Mr. Blair with an Oscar for his marvellous performance as a sincere politician in "Carry on Lying" (2005) which the party considers even better than Sir Laurence Olivier's role as warrior-king in "Henry V" and nearly as good as Elvis's role as an Arab sheik in "Harum Scarum" (1965).” The spoof party even insists they have found a winning formula to please all the political contenders on the issue of foreign entrants in Britain. “Our candidate would like to see the terminals around Heathrow and Gatwick plastered with giant photos of Britain's leading celebs i.e. Kilroy, Johnny Vegas, Graham Norton, Ant & Dec, and mega-moron Chris Evans. The sight of this lot should be enough to deter the most hardened criminal.” And for the hardcore cynics, undecided minds or floating voters the bloggosphere is not excluding anyone. Not Apathetic.com allows voters to explain why they will not be seen on May 5. “I'm hoping for a hung parliament. I've got enough rope for about 50 nooses, anyone else able to help out?” said one. Another suggests a real-world approach – and one that many people hope will the next British Parliament will adopt: “I think they're all telling lies,” reads the complaint. “They all make such a noise, arguing and bellowing in the houses of parliament. Why can't they just sit down and quietly listen to what each other has to say and really contemplate?” May 5, 2005 Email this article Printer friendly page Previous Page
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