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Beautiful Moments of Bulltulip that pass barely noticed

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    Beautiful Moments of Bulltulip that pass barely noticed

    1. Agile meeting. Team of eight standing in a circle. The pattern for months has been that the scrum master always looks to his right for the first update but on this particular day, to murmurs of consternation, he asks the person to his left for the first update.

    This person happens to be a lairy bstard who's primary goal on the project seems to be sloth and self-promotion. He is caught wonderfully unprepared but recovers sufficiently to provide this gem:

    "I've been working and stuff". No one batted an eyelid.


    2. This morning's daily standup. The person responsible for moving developments into the test system (who happens to be another lazy gobshyte more interested in telling everyone how busy he is while contributing next to nothing) is asked "Has development X been moved yet?".

    His answer which passes unchallenged: "It's almost done".

    Genius.

    #2
    3. I've been invoicing.
    And what exactly is wrong with an "ad hominem" argument? Dodgy Agent, 16-5-2014

    Comment


      #3
      In fairness it's not a bad idea to ping pong round a scrum meeting at random every now and then, instead of plodding round in the same order each morning. Keeps people on their toes, or should do, although it sounds like some of that lot in your scrum are incorrigible!
      Work in the public sector? Read the IR35 FAQ here

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        #4
        Originally posted by OwlHoot View Post
        In fairness it's not a bad idea to ping pong round a scrum meeting at random every now and then, instead of plodding round in the same order each morning. Keeps people on their toes, or should do, although it sounds like some of that lot in your scrum are incorrigible!
        Scrum.

        Definition : an ordered formation of players, used to restart play, in which the forwards of a team form up with arms interlocked and heads down, and push forward against a similar group from the opposing side. The ball is thrown into the scrum and the players try to gain possession of it by kicking it backwards towards their own side.

        Sounds dreamy.

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by Judge Fred View Post
          Scrum.

          Definition : an ordered formation of players, used to restart play, in which the forwards of a team form up with arms interlocked and heads down, and push forward against a similar group from the opposing side. The ball is thrown into the scrum and the players try to gain possession of it by kicking it backwards towards their own side.

          Sounds dreamy.
          Also:

          Informal: A disordely struggle.
          "Being nice costs nothing and sometimes gets you extra bacon" - Pondlife.

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by Judge Fred View Post
            Scrum.
            A golden opportunity to injure and humiliate the French.
            And what exactly is wrong with an "ad hominem" argument? Dodgy Agent, 16-5-2014

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by Mich the Tester View Post
              A golden opportunity to injure and humiliate the French.
              To be honest, it's usually Bob (on a crackly speakerphone) who comes off worst in any scrums I've been in.

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