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suityou01
25th February 2015, 17:59
So I am running a workshop this afternoon via GotoMeeting. I have screen sharing on and am doing some demo stuff.

During the demo I take a screenshot, paste it into mspaint and hit save. In the save dialog box I am typing the name of the filename I want to give the file.

I want to call the file RestUrlaub15.png. It's German words and stuff.

Windows helps you by autocompleting the filename based on any other files you make have in that folder. It did this. The autocomplete part is shown below in red.

rectum.png

As I continued to type the rest of the filename this disappeared, but it was on the screen just a fraction too long for my liking.

I paused.

"Are you ok suity?"

"Erm, yep, fine. Erm actually, can I just ask you guys something for a brief second?"

"Sure"

"You know when I was typing the filename in, did you guys see the auto complete?"

"Lil bit, yuh. Wasn't going to mention it."

"Ah. I see. There is a very innocent explaination."

"Really no need, let's move on"

"But ...... Listen, it's like this. I have a fascination for languages. I was explaining to a friend on facebook a while back that the latin word Rectum " (I pronounced this Rectoom for added Latinness) " actually means virtue. That picture was a screen shot from google translate".

I then proceeded to show them google translate.

I thiiiink they believed me. :eek:

darmstadt
25th February 2015, 18:06
Why are you showing people pictures of your visit to a German swingers club?






(* BTW, the German film Resturlaub is quite good.)

suityou01
25th February 2015, 18:09
Why are you showing people pictures of your visit to a German swingers club?






(* BTW, the German film Resturlaub is quite good.)

Is it clean? Or related to your first comment?

suityou01
25th February 2015, 18:12
rectum.png in it's glory :D

https://40.media.tumblr.com/ac3446550e8bc280a3257e8a872ac2ff/tumblr_nkcaisDxbO1uoh8dfo1_1280.png

FatLazyContractor
25th February 2015, 18:15
Why don't you clear your rectum err Inbox Suity ? I've been trying to send you a pic of my rectum. :D

suityou01
25th February 2015, 18:17
Why don't you clear your rectum err Inbox Suity ? I've been trying to send you a pic of my rectum. :D

I shall leave it full thanks :D

FatLazyContractor
25th February 2015, 18:19
I shall leave it full thanks :D

If you are talking about your rectum, then let me remind you that the matter in it becomes gaseous and those gases move up your body into your brain. Needless to say, your sh!tty thread ideas take their natural birth. :winker:

suityou01
25th February 2015, 18:23
If you are talking about your rectum, then let me remind you that the matter in it becomes gaseous and those gases move up your body into your brain. Needless to say, your sh!tty thread ideas take their natural birth. :winker:

ok ok jeez i cleared it :rolleyes:

send me your pic :sick

suityou01
25th February 2015, 18:26
Well that is something no one should ever ever ever have to see. :sick

FatLazyContractor
25th February 2015, 18:27
Well that is something no one should ever ever ever have to see. :sick

Thanks for your opinion.

As a great man once said, Opinions are like arseholes. Everyone's got one, but no one wants to see the others'.

And some of us can officially declare that you are one. :winker:

suityou01
25th February 2015, 18:28
Thanks for your opinion.

As a great man once said, Opinions are like arseholes. Everyone's got one, but no one wants to see the others'.

And some of us can officially declare that you are one. :winker:

Yes some, but not you, surely, my faithful friend? :winker:

FatLazyContractor
25th February 2015, 18:30
Yes some, but not you, surely, my faithful friend? :winker:

You have friends? :laugh

I thought your only friend was the milkman

suityou01
25th February 2015, 18:31
You have friends? :laugh

I thought your only friend was the milkman

You are my self confessed friend. Unless you've changed your mind? :eek:

FatLazyContractor
25th February 2015, 18:33
You are my self confessed friend. Unless you've changed your mind? :eek:

I sympathise with your partner (as does your milkman).

In politics and war ..... Go figure you cretin. :winker:

sockiefindergeneral
25th February 2015, 18:34
Prepare the gallows. :devil

FatLazyContractor
25th February 2015, 18:35
Prepare the gallows. :devil

That uberc*nt is so fecking fat that the rope shall break.

Put him on a chair ..

suityou01
25th February 2015, 18:37
That uberc*nt is so fecking fat that the rope shall break.

Put him on a chair ..

Hi, Mr Pot? We have a Mr Kettle waiting in reception for you. :laugh

FatLazyContractor
25th February 2015, 18:39
Hi, Mr Pot? We have a Mr Kettle waiting in reception for you. :laugh

Talking of which, do you still have your Teapot you used to carry around? Looks a bit like your head.

http://artfcity.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/ass.jpg

suityou01
25th February 2015, 18:40
Yow mamma so fat, when she comes round to tea the tyres on your house go flat. :wink

MarillionFan
25th February 2015, 18:43
blah blah blah

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/ca/43/eb/ca43eb8eca45f9b781fc4e081bf6efdb.jpg

FatLazyContractor
25th February 2015, 18:43
Yow mamma so fat, when she comes round to tea the tyres on your house go flat. :wink

I'll employ you to fix the tyres for a sausage.

When did you say your German masters are planning to axe your sad sore rectum? :laugh

suityou01
25th February 2015, 18:45
I'll employ you to fix the tyres for a sausage.

When did you say your German masters are planning to axe your sad sore rectum? :laugh

Oh nein, zwei Wurstchen for a tyre fix.

Have you ever worked abroad? :happy

FatLazyContractor
25th February 2015, 18:48
Oh nein, zwei Wurstchen for a tyre fix.

Have you ever worked abroad? :happy

Die andere Wurst ist Ihre eigene.

I never found it difficult to find a job close to home. And you? :laugh

Oh BTW, how long was your longest contract? :rollin:

MarillionFan
25th February 2015, 18:49
Die andere Wurst ist Ihre eigene.

I never found it difficult to find a job close to home. And you? :laugh

Oh BTW, how long was your longest contract? :rollin:

It was 8 weeks. Everyone knows that after the 1st week, you can get an extension every other one.

suityou01
25th February 2015, 18:50
Die andere Wurst ist Ihre eigene.

I never found it difficult to find a job close to home. And you? :laugh

Oh BTW, how long was your longest contract? :rollin:

I never found it difficult to get a contract overseas as I have niche skills that travel and clients are willing to pay the extra.

Longest contract was 21 months. You? :happy

suityou01
25th February 2015, 18:51
It was 8 weeks. Everyone knows that after the 1st week, you can get an extension every other one.

Ah master and sockie together. Just TykeMerc and Tractor and we have just over 10% :laugh

FatLazyContractor
25th February 2015, 18:52
I never found it difficult to get a contract overseas as I have niche skills that travel and clients are willing to pay the extra.

Longest contract was 21 months. You? :happy

Yes, that was how the British entered Australia.

21 months ?! I am sure it was with your own limited co. :winker:

suityou01
25th February 2015, 18:56
Yes, that was how the British entered Australia.

21 months ?! I am sure it was with your own limited co. :winker:

It was with my own Limited company. And an agency, and an end client. How do you do it? Not through a brolly :sick

Are you sure you are COTBAC? :wink

MarillionFan
25th February 2015, 18:57
Ah master and sockie together. Just TykeMerc and Tractor and we have just over 10% :laugh

http://i.imgur.com/KgoIF.gif

FatLazyContractor
25th February 2015, 18:59
It was with my own Limited company. And an agency, and an end client. How do you do it? Not through a brolly :sick

Are you sure you are COTBAC? :wink


I work direct and the client pays me in cash. Heard of such a model?

I am sure you didn't as you are a certified cretin. :laugh

suityou01
25th February 2015, 19:00
Fanatical utterly made up bollocks :laugh

Well I would love to stay and chat, but you're not real. :wave:

FatLazyContractor
25th February 2015, 19:03
Well I would love to stay and chat, but you're not real. :wave:

Run out of ammunition?

There is another thing you haven't heard of. It is called 'A well paid contract'.

suityou01
25th February 2015, 19:12
Run out of ammunition?

There is another thing you haven't heard of. It is called 'A well paid contract'.

No, just got bored of you. :happy

Off you pop :wave:

FatLazyContractor
25th February 2015, 19:13
No, just got bored of you. :happy

Off you pop :wave:

:rollin:

Flounce off you cretin. :cretin:

suityou01
25th February 2015, 19:15
:rollin:

Flounce off you cretin. :cretin:

Listen. If you carry on I will be forced to put you in your place. Neither of us want this.

Now go home, your drunk.

HTH

mudskipper
25th February 2015, 19:15
Listen. If you carry on I will be forced to put you in your place. Neither of us want this.

Now go home, your drunk.

HTH

you're :spel

MarillionFan
25th February 2015, 19:16
Listen. If you carry on I will be forced to put you in your place. Neither of us want this.

Now go home, your drunk.

HTH

Jesus, you're clinging to his leg worse than a homesick turd. Someone pass the bog roll.

FatLazyContractor
25th February 2015, 19:17
Listen. If you carry on I will be forced to put you in your place. Neither of us want this.

Now go home, your drunk.

HTH

I am scared. Someone please help me!

FatLazyContractor
25th February 2015, 19:23
If that is all the cretinous biatch got, I'll go smoke my cuban ! :smokin


I'm serious about the tyre thing though. I will think about the second sausage if you are worth it! :laugh

AMH
25th February 2015, 19:39
you could have lied & said you was looking for an imitation calamari recipe

FatLazyContractor
25th February 2015, 19:43
you could have lied & said you was looking for an imitation calamari recipe

Who are you talking to?

The flouncer?:rolleyes:

suityou01
25th February 2015, 19:47
Who are you talking to?

The flouncer?:rolleyes:

Ah I see my fan club are still here :laugh

Take a break, get a life, knock one out? Just do summat else for a bit. Recharge the ole batteries.

Then with a bit of RnR, then you might actually go back to being vaguely funny.

HTH

FatLazyContractor
25th February 2015, 19:52
Ah I see my fan club are still here :laugh

Take a break, get a life, knock one out? Just do summat else for a bit. Recharge the ole batteries.

Then with a bit of RnR, then you might actually go back to being vaguely funny.

HTH

Thanks for showing the newbies how not to come back for the lack of a comeback. :laugh

suityou01
25th February 2015, 20:01
Thanks for showing the newbies how not to come back for the lack of a comeback. :laugh

:tumble:

d000hg
25th February 2015, 22:03
I work direct and the client pays me in cash. Heard of such a model? Cash? How common.

Dactylion
25th February 2015, 22:56
I work direct and the client pays me in cash. Heard of such a model?

I am sure you didn't as you are a certified cretin. :laugh

Everyone has heard of that model - It is the model employed by manual labourers, tradesmen and pikeys.

I have never met an IT contractor paid by the client in cash. Obviously some people, Suity for example, do odds and sods on the side for a few quid but they don't call that contracting. That is Plan B or possibly even just a hobby.

In fact thinking about it I don't think I would ever want to have a wad of cash handed over to cover even a weekly invoice.

What exactly is it you do as a contractor? I only ask as I need a bit of work doing, nothing major just a bit of plumbing and a bit of decoration. I'll pay in cash obviously!

FatLazyContractor
25th February 2015, 22:57
Cash? How common.

And you took that goob posted on this cretins thread on it's face value?

FatLazyContractor
25th February 2015, 22:58
What exactly is it you do as a contractor? I only ask as I need a bit of work doing, nothing major just a bit of plumbing and a bit of decoration. I'll pay in cash obviously!

I am a gardener of the indoor variety :D

suityou01
25th February 2015, 23:36
I am a gardener of the indoor variety :D

:spel uphill :D

HTH

MaryPoppins
26th February 2015, 08:46
For once, the thread title is spot on.

Pondlife
26th February 2015, 08:53
For once, the thread title is spot on.

Shhhhh MP, They're sleeping and we don't want to wake them. They look so peaceful in their matching onesies. In fact the only way I can tell them apart is the S, F & M they have embroidered on the front.

They all had a long day yesterday. Leave them be.

TheFaQQer
26th February 2015, 09:50
I have never met an IT contractor paid by the client in cash.

Mate of mine did a gig in Nigeria a while back where they were all paid in cash each week.

Management and security would come round with a briefcase of US$ on a Friday afternoon for each contractor.

darmstadt
26th February 2015, 09:56
I have never met an IT contractor paid by the client in cash.

I did a contract at the DHSS (which shows how long ago that was!) where I was paid by the agency with a cheque, weekly. Straight to the bank, cash it in and Bob's your uncle. I also did one here in Germany and the company, although German, had registered its offices as an LLC in Las Vegas so each month I used to get a cheque drawn on a Las Vegas bank. My bank manager thought I spent my time gambling!