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View Full Version : Ignorance Amnesty



d000hg
26th February 2015, 17:51
Roll up, roll up. Admit embarrassing examples of your past ignorance here in a safe, friendly space*.

Here's one:

- I was in my late teens before I realised "Black Humour" wasn't anything do do with African Americans.




* safety and friendliness not guaranteed.

suityou01
26th February 2015, 17:58
<sprays 4 cans of anti-troll>

You're welcome doogs. :smokin

suityou01
26th February 2015, 18:15
Actually there was this one time that I was approached by MF as he desperately need a BA with strong technical skills and I actually agreed to attend an interview he set up.

Still feel so foolish. I mean, it was MF FFs :emb

vwdan
26th February 2015, 18:19
I was about 20 before I realised hotel rooms were numbered by the floor. I thought all hotels had such high room numbers because they wanted to pretend to be huge.

In my defence, I didn't even stay in a hotel until I was 18+

stek
26th February 2015, 18:30
When in my formative years, I'd read in a mucky book that a bit of Vaseline on ones old chap heightens the pleasure while doing the old five knuckle shuffle.

Couldn't source any Vaseline, but found something that sounded near enough.

Warning, do not use Windowlene on your knob. Next day mine was red raw and the skin started peeling off. Could see your face in it though....

Goatfell
26th February 2015, 18:35
Once upon a time I thought it was outrageous the way that Suity was picked upon by other posters on here,

but I'm older and wiser now and realise he deserves everything he gets...

suityou01
26th February 2015, 18:39
Once upon a time I thought it was outrageous the way that Suity was picked upon by other posters on here,

but I'm older and wiser now and realise he deserves everything he gets...

And MF walks in wearing a false beard, joke shop teeth and a Tina Turner wig. Still clearly him though. :laugh

TestMangler
26th February 2015, 18:54
I once had to pay a hooker in Huddersfield twenty quid for a blow job (Got her number off barrydidit).

In my ignorance, I thought she said 'a tenner' on the phone, but it was probably an accent thing.

barrydidit
26th February 2015, 19:04
I once had to pay a hooker in Huddersfield twenty quid for a blow job (Got her number off barrydidit).

In my ignorance, I thought she said 'a tenner' on the phone, but it was probably an accent thing.

The number I gave you did it for 15. She saw you coming. Sucker. Oh..erm.....

barrydidit
26th February 2015, 19:07
Actually there was this one time that I was approached by MF as he desperately need a BA with strong technical skills and I actually agreed to attend an interview he set up.

Still feel so foolish. I mean, it was MF FFs :emb

Funny you should say that Suity. Only today I spotted this from some bird on LinkedIn:


Looking for the impossible.. A Business Analyst with a technical background who has experience working for a consultancy and working on client site, who is happy to travel. Are you out there? Get in contact :)

MF in drag, or there really is a market for your brand of tulip? :confused:

TestMangler
26th February 2015, 19:27
The number I gave you did it for 15. She saw you coming. Sucker. Oh..erm.....

She said she did it for YOU for fifteen cause it never took too long. Anyway, doesn't matter. She's in the basement of the huddy flat wrapped in an old carpet :eek

barrydidit
26th February 2015, 19:33
She said she did it for YOU for fifteen cause it never took too long. Anyway, doesn't matter. She's in the basement of the huddy flat wrapped in an old carpet :eek

Yep, and I thank you for that. It's been freebies for the last couple of years.

It got even better when her teeth fell out. :laugh

TestMangler
26th February 2015, 19:40
Yep, and I thank you for that. It's been freebies for the last couple of years.

It got even better when her teeth fell out. :laugh

And I bet she still smells better than that tart that lived next door :ohwell

suityou01
26th February 2015, 19:59
Funny you should say that Suity. Only today I spotted this from some bird on LinkedIn:



MF in drag, or there really is a market for your brand of tulip? :confused:

Oh my shits definitely marketable. I'm in demand as far as Germany and very nearly the states if MF hadn't fecked things up. :moon:

barrydidit
26th February 2015, 20:07
and very nearly the states

Something else you've got in common with the Titanic then?

suityou01
26th February 2015, 20:10
Something else you've got in common with the Titanic then?

If MF is the iceberg, then yep. :D

barrydidit
26th February 2015, 20:13
If MF is the iceberg, then yep. :D

Life is the iceberg. MF is captain smith in this analogy. You're the doomed vessel full of hopes and dreams that will never be fulfilled. :wink

suityou01
26th February 2015, 20:17
Life is the iceberg. MF is captain smith in this analogy. You're the doomed vessel full of hopes and dreams that will never be fulfilled. :wink

But what a vessel eh? ;)

stek
26th February 2015, 20:24
She said she did it for YOU for fifteen cause it never took too long. Anyway, doesn't matter. She's in the basement of the huddy flat wrapped in an old carpet :eek

Was it one of the Rytka twins?

MicrosoftBob
26th February 2015, 20:35
When I first heard someone mention Keeping up with the Kardashians, I thought they said Keeping up with the Cardassians and someone had made a DS9 sitcom

stek
26th February 2015, 21:16
When I was in Germany I kept wondering why such a lot of S-bahn trains went to this mysterious place called 'Kurzzug'.

Eventually asked the Mrs who was working there why don't we go and visit this place since a lot of trains go there only to be told it's German for 'Short Train'....

darmstadt
26th February 2015, 21:51
When I was in Germany I kept wondering why such a lot of S-bahn trains went to this mysterious place called 'Kurzzug'.

Eventually asked the Mrs who was working there why don't we go and visit this place since a lot of trains go there only to be told it's German for 'Short Train'....

And there's loads of towns called Ausfahrt with streets called Einbahnstrasse :happy

stek
26th February 2015, 22:25
And there's loads of towns called Ausfahrt with streets called Einbahnstrasse :happy

Is it Einfahrt for one-way street? 53 years old and sign with a word in a foreign language that looks a little bit like fart and I'm cracking up...

Pathetic lol!

darmstadt
26th February 2015, 22:39
https://snarkysmachine.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/ausfahrt.jpg
http://pixabay.com/static/uploads/photo/2014/04/17/21/03/one-way-street-326819_640.jpg
http://iliketowastemytime.com/sites/default/files/wank_germany_funny_city_names.jpg

TestMangler
26th February 2015, 22:43
I once got a letter from the local health board, informing me that I only had three months to live.

In my ignorance, I didn't realise that the letter was, in fact, for my four year old son who has the same name as me.

Imagine my relief when I realised.

d000hg
27th February 2015, 09:10
- I thought making this thread would be a source of light relief :)