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FatLazyContractor
26th August 2015, 19:18
President and Chairman: FatLazyContractor
Treasurer: NickFitz
tulip cleaner: Suity
Accountant: Gumbo Robot
Moral officer: DimPrawn
TBC: alreadypacked
EU Liaison: Joe Black
Pork for Sarnies: NibblyPig
Sanitation Engineer:TheLordDave
Hot & Sexy personal assistant to the President: Dallas :D
AndyW's mum's personal secretary: Andy2
TBC: Dark Black
Who else is in the esteemed club? :D

DimPrawn
26th August 2015, 19:22
I'm benched too, turned down a renewal for plan b.

I would like to be moral officer. :happy

FatLazyContractor
26th August 2015, 19:25
I'm benched too, turned down a renewal for plan b.

I would like to be moral officer. :happy

Added. Ta! :D

alreadypacked
26th August 2015, 19:39
On the bench, but more like a long holiday
off to Egypt next week.

vwdan
26th August 2015, 19:53
I'm back in from this week - a nice gentle project and then, uh, how do I say this - into semi-permanent employment... (6 month 'see how it goes' with an old customer)

I did learn to fly while I was off, though.

Joe Black
26th August 2015, 20:13
You can put me down as EU Liaison. :)

MarillionFan
26th August 2015, 20:27
President and Chairman: FatLazyContractor
Treasurer: NickFitz
Operations Director: Suity
Accountant: Gumbo Robot
Moral officer: DimPrawn
TBC: alreadypacked

Who else is in the esteemed club? :D

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

First rule of Losers club is nobody speaks about losers club.

If I was feeling generous and wanted to 'save' someone from the bench. It would be Fitzy. Got a perfect part time retainer role for someone of that calibre

NickFitz
26th August 2015, 20:55
Treasurer? :eek

:rollin:

MarillionFan
26th August 2015, 21:13
Treasurer? :eek

:rollin:

You are Arthur Fowler and I claim my five tragic Friday endings

suityou01
26th August 2015, 21:45
I might have to flounce off come the end of the week. :smokin

anonymouse
26th August 2015, 21:53
Count me out, ta. Just started the new gig after a lovely summer, now it's pissed down all week.

FatLazyContractor
27th August 2015, 07:31
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

First rule of Losers club is nobody speaks about losers club.

If I was feeling generous and wanted to 'save' someone from the bench. It would be Fitzy. Got a perfect part time retainer role for someone of that calibre

Weren't you getting water boarded by DCs SO16 body guards? :winker:

FatLazyContractor
27th August 2015, 07:32
I might have to flounce off come the end of the week. :smokin

Will you still be on bench though? :tongue

FatLazyContractor
27th August 2015, 07:35
Treasurer? :eek

:rollin:

On second thoughts, I'm worried you might burn the club's money on Chinese take away ! :tongue


If I was feeling generous and wanted to 'save' someone from the bench. It would be Fitzy. Got a perfect part time retainer role for someone of that calibre

And play with him like you once did with Suity for an imaginary role in Leeds ? :winker:

suityou01
27th August 2015, 09:19
Will you still be on bench though? :tongue

Nope, I'd leave a 5 space gap for normal sized contractors.

Have to admit I'm NCOTBAC though as I am sitting and hoping way to much. It's a good gig and will (hopefully) allow me to pick up some new skills that would stand the test of time, and are very niche.

Need to put it out of my head. :emb

suityou01
28th August 2015, 09:03
Fook me they're dragging this one out. :winker:

DimPrawn
28th August 2015, 09:06
Fook me they're dragging this one out. :winker:

Have they met you yet?

FatLazyContractor
28th August 2015, 09:11
Fook me they're dragging this one out. :winker:

:spank:

Ok, i'll get those five hopefuls off the bench to fit your fat arse again :winker:

Because we all love you :D

NibblyPig
28th August 2015, 09:12
My last day today, then benched.

FatLazyContractor
28th August 2015, 09:13
My last day today, then benched.

Added you to the list :D

suityou01
28th August 2015, 09:19
Have they met you yet?

They did.

Pimp "They really like you, they want to make you an offer but they have a few things to sort out. If I was a betting man I'd say you should get this. Should hear back later in the week".

:rolleyes:

FatLazyContractor
28th August 2015, 09:22
They did.

Pimp "They really like you, they want to make you an offer but they have a few things to sort out. If I was a betting man I'd say you should get this. Should hear back later in the week".

:rolleyes:

Oh dear. Welcome back to the bench then :hug:

eek
28th August 2015, 09:23
They did.

Pimp "They really like you, they want to make you an offer but they have a few things to sort out. If I was a betting man I'd say you should get this. Should hear back later in the week".

:rolleyes:

Onward and upward then...

even you know you haven't got it...

suityou01
28th August 2015, 09:25
Onward and upward then...

even you know you haven't got it...

Bizarre though isn't it? Why go to such lengths? Why not just say "You didn't get it mate, sorry"? :confused:

FatLazyContractor
28th August 2015, 09:26
Bizarre though isn't it? Why go to such lengths? Why not just say "You didn't get it mate, sorry"? :confused:

You have been contracting for a while now, aren't you? You should know better what agency jargon means. :spank:

eek
28th August 2015, 09:27
Bizarre though isn't it? Why go to such lengths? Why not just say "You didn't get it mate, sorry"? :confused:

Because the agent doesn't know if the winner will take the role... And if they don't there is the possibility that they may take on the second choice. And there is a chance that you are that second choice..

That sounds more negative than a meant it to be (sorry)..

Remember rule 1:

just keep looking until your bum is on a seat in new clientco..

FatLazyContractor
28th August 2015, 09:30
Remember rule 1:

just keep looking until your first invoice is paid ..

FTFY :smokin

DimPrawn
28th August 2015, 09:41
Bizarre though isn't it? Why go to such lengths? Why not just say "You didn't get it mate, sorry"? :confused:

As the others have said, hedging bets. It means you are in the running (2nd or 3rd choice), but often the 1st choice might turn the gig down (got a better offer, didn't like it).

If he flat out said "No, you aren't the one they are looking for..(in a Obi Wan voice)" you would likely not take the role and find another.

So the agents keep the main choices all hanging until the ink is dry on the contract.

Simples.

You should assume you aren't going to get it and plough on.

Scruff
28th August 2015, 11:15
I've just joined the IB Bench today.

Bum off the bench on Tuesday to join Cloudy Contract. Short visit to the park...

original PM
28th August 2015, 11:44
They did.

Pimp "They really like you, they want to make you an offer but they have a few things to sort out. If I was a betting man I'd say you should get this. Should hear back later in the week".

:rolleyes:

Obviously he was not a betting man...

Did you clarify that with the agent?

Dallas
28th August 2015, 11:53
I am benched next friday for a looooong time.

Currently going through the awkward phase of 'handover' to a new guy we suspect has been telling porky pies on his CV or he is just a dumbass, or both :happy

Starting to write a bucket list of what to do with time off.

eek
28th August 2015, 12:12
I am benched next friday for a looooong time.

Currently going through the awkward phase of 'handover' to a new guy we suspect has been telling porky pies on his CV or he is just a dumbass, or both :happy

Starting to write a bucket list of what to do with time off.

That just adds to the fun. Do you have people who will report back to you....

darmstadt
28th August 2015, 12:17
http://palhansen.com/content/images/stories/drunks_on_a_bench-1591.jpg

Dallas
28th August 2015, 12:47
That just adds to the fun. Do you have people who will report back to you....

I do - happy to extend my updates :)

suityou01
28th August 2015, 14:35
Onward and upward then...

even you know you haven't got it...

Suity : Dude, wtf?
Pimp : I didn't hear anything.

Suity : You promised feedback by Friday
Pimp : I should have called with no news?

Suity : text, email, call. The options are endless. Radio silence when you've promised to do something doesn't go down well with me.
Pimp : Well I've been chasing for you.

Suity : And?
Pimp : They aren't returning my calls.

Suity : ok shall we leave it there then?
Pimp : Why?

Suity: because any company that can't organise a piss up in a brewery, or have the courtesy to respond when they say they will is probably going to be a nightmare to work with. If they can't get an offer out in a few days it stinks, and I'd encourage them to waste someone else's time.

:suicide:

MarillionFan
28th August 2015, 14:46
Suity : Dude, wtf?
Pimp : I didn't hear anything.

Suity : You promised feedback by Friday
Pimp : I should have called with no news?

Suity : text, email, call. The options are endless. Radio silence when you've promised to do something doesn't go down well with me.
Pimp : Well I've been chasing for you.

Suity : And?
Pimp : They aren't returning my calls.

Suity : ok shall we leave it there then?
Pimp : Why?

Suity: because any company that can't organise a piss up in a brewery, or have the courtesy to respond when they say they will is probably going to be a nightmare to work with. If they can't get an offer out in a few days it stinks, and I'd encourage them to waste someone else's time.

:suicide:

Diva!!!!!

Suity. You know when you bump into someone in the street you haven't seen for a long time and frankly weren't that close anyway and the conversation ends with 'hey call me' or 'we should catchup'? Nobody then expects to follow up, it's just being polite. So when you get all bent out of shape, it's more a courtesy thing.

Nobody and I mean Nobody follows up with no news. Get over yourself.

NibblyPig
28th August 2015, 14:53
Ehh I can see where he's coming from. Question is at what point do you abandon all hope.

Solution is to never assume anything until you have a signed contract. So even if they get back to you and say client wants an interview and will confirm the date, or even if they say the client was happy with your interview and wants you to sign a contract, just ignore and keep looking until the contract arrives on your doorstep.

suityou01
28th August 2015, 14:54
Diva!!!!!

Suity. You know when you bump into someone in the street you haven't seen for a long time and frankly weren't that close anyway and the conversation ends with 'hey call me' or 'we should catchup'? Nobody then expects to follow up, it's just being polite. So when you get all bent out of shape, it's more a courtesy thing.

Nobody and I mean Nobody follows up with no news. Get over yourself.

MF, the word courteous isn't in your dictionary.

Also your example is invalid.

Also your a ****.

HTH

suityou01
28th August 2015, 14:56
Ehh I can see where he's coming from. Question is at what point do you abandon all hope.

Solution is to never assume anything until you have a signed contract. So even if they get back to you and say client wants an interview and will confirm the date, or even if they say the client was happy with your interview and wants you to sign a contract, just ignore and keep looking until the contract arrives on your doorstep.

Agree completely. My point is, the company in question can't organise themselves. They have acquitted themselves badly, and seem flaky. For that reason, I'm out.

AtW
28th August 2015, 14:57
For that reason, I'm out.

You were not even in, how can you be out? :eyes

Bacchus
28th August 2015, 18:31
President and Chairman: FatLazyContractor
Treasurer: NickFitz
Operations Director: Suity (To expire shortly :D )
Accountant: Gumbo Robot
Moral officer: DimPrawn
TBC: alreadypacked
EU Liaison: Joe Black
Pork for Sarnies: NibblyPig

Who else is in the esteemed club? :D


I turned down an extension back in April, but not sure that I am on the bench, that would imply that I still want to play the game, and I'm not sure that I do...

Contracting has been really, really good to me, but of late it just seems like a vehicle for raising money for HMRC. I am unlikely to "spend out" before I die, so why not do something more fun?

(posted from the motorhome in the South of France, next to the canal du midi)

FatLazyContractor
7th September 2015, 13:48
Welcome TheLordDave :wave:

TheLordDave
7th September 2015, 15:06
Welcome TheLordDave :wave:

Thank you
Can I have a menial position? Burger flipper or sanitation engineer ;)

suityou01
7th September 2015, 15:41
Thank you
Can I have a menial position? Burger flipper or sanitation engineer ;)

We can share. :D

BrilloPad
7th September 2015, 15:46
Thank you
Can I have a menial position? Burger flipper or sanitation engineer ;)

Should I look those up on Urban Dictionary?

FatLazyContractor
7th September 2015, 15:47
Thank you
Can I have a menial position? Burger flipper or sanitation engineer ;)

Done (http://forums.contractoruk.com/general/108565-official-cuk-bench-late-summer-2015-a.html#post2136371)

Suity: Updated your title too, as per your request :D

Dallas
7th September 2015, 16:15
Can I represent the wimmin?

FatLazyContractor
7th September 2015, 16:19
Can I represent the wimmin?

Are you on the bench?

suityou01
7th September 2015, 16:21
Are you on the bench?

And are you a woman?

FatLazyContractor
7th September 2015, 16:23
And are you a woman?

Look at my titties

suityou01
7th September 2015, 16:25
Look at my titties

Very nice. Are they all yours?

FatLazyContractor
7th September 2015, 16:29
Very nice. Are they all yours?

The right one is, yes :smokin

Dallas
7th September 2015, 16:30
And are you a woman?

Yes & yes

FatLazyContractor
7th September 2015, 16:34
Yes & yes

Ok, done (http://forums.contractoruk.com/general/108565-official-cuk-bench-late-summer-2015-a.html#post2136371)

suityou01
7th September 2015, 17:25
Kids are back at school, Parliament is back, surely there should be an explosion on the contracting scene.

Not that I can see. Permie side bubbling along nicely.

:bang:

FatLazyContractor
7th September 2015, 18:58
Kids are back at school,
:bang:

Which means you and the wife are at home together! :wink Make the best of it before you end up in a motel in Germany doing :winker: yourself.

SueEllen
7th September 2015, 19:38
Which means you and the wife are at home together! :wink Make the best of it before you end up in a motel in Germany doing :winker: yourself.

He will end up with another kid...

FatLazyContractor
7th September 2015, 19:40
He will end up with another kid...

That implies the current kids are his. :igmc:

SueEllen
7th September 2015, 19:57
That implies the current kids are his. :igmc:

He may be stupid but his wife isn't.

She has to make it look believable you know.....

suityou01
7th September 2015, 20:28
Which means you and the wife are at home together! :wink Make the best of it before you end up in a motel in Germany doing :winker: yourself.

That was you watching? :eek:

AtW
7th September 2015, 20:32
It's not Official thread until I say so, and I am not saying it :eyes

greenlake
7th September 2015, 20:40
That bench is looking pretty crowded....

http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5241/5272549740_f58e233b78_z.jpg

AtW
7th September 2015, 20:47
Bench in December 1999 -

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/6b/House_of_Lords_chamber_-_toward_throne.jpg

FatLazyContractor
8th September 2015, 06:06
It's not Official thread until I say so, and I am not saying it :eyes

Thanks for saying it.:happy

MarillionFan
8th September 2015, 06:46
Thanks for saying it.:happy

Doley scum

FatLazyContractor
8th September 2015, 06:53
Doley scum

Anyway, how is that blood pressure of yours doing? Any happy news in sight? :happy

FatLazyContractor
8th September 2015, 08:53
I feel like an idiot after underselling myself for a role in Switzerland. :mad

Finished the first "technical round" yesterday and got 46 out of 50 "technical questions" correct. :eyes

Got a call from the agent that the client would "love" to have a second round of "Skype" interview tomorrow :rolleyes:

FFS, how did I undersell myself for such a low rate ! ?! :devil :winker::bang::throw:

SimonMac
8th September 2015, 09:07
Bench looming, last day on site is the 24th, sent off a CV for a local gig and a potential other iron in the fire

SimonMac
8th September 2015, 09:08
It's not Official thread until I say so, and I am not saying it :eyes

You could start an "Official Bench - Autumn 2015" thread

Magpie252
8th September 2015, 09:21
I feel like an idiot after underselling myself for a role in Switzerland. :mad

Finished the first "technical round" yesterday and got 46 out of 50 "technical questions" correct. :eyes

Got a call from the agent that the client would "love" to have a second round of "Skype" interview tomorrow :rolleyes:

FFS, how did I undersell myself for such a low rate ! ?! :devil :winker::bang::throw:


Life is too short for living/renting/buying in Switzerland.

HTH

Pot Kettle Black?

FatLazyContractor
8th September 2015, 09:23
Pot Kettle Black?

I never said 'Working' :smokin

One could live in Germany or France and still work in Swiss :cool:

suityou01
8th September 2015, 14:14
Changed the bulb in my 500W site light.

Painted the kitchen ceiling.

No calls.

Ho hum.

FiveTimes
8th September 2015, 14:15
Changed the bulb in my 500W site light.

Painted the kitchen ceiling.

No calls.

Ho hum.

If you are after handy man jobs - I could do with our kitchen painting. Whats your number ?

FatLazyContractor
8th September 2015, 14:16
Changed the bulb in my 500W site light.

Painted the kitchen ceiling.

No calls.

Ho hum.

Is the phone switched on? :tumble:

suityou01
8th September 2015, 14:20
Is the phone switched on? :tumble:

I actually checked :laugh

Yes. :eyes

DimPrawn
8th September 2015, 14:25
I actually checked :laugh

Yes. :eyes

Maybe it's not working. Post your phone number here and we'll call it. If it doesn't ring it's broken.

Dark Black
8th September 2015, 14:28
That bench is looking pretty crowded....

http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5241/5272549740_f58e233b78_z.jpg

Is that NorthernLadyUK fourth from the right? :D

FatLazyContractor
8th September 2015, 16:25
Surprising how things can change in an afternoon.

- The agent of the Swiss client came back to me this afternoon and asked me if I would be interested in travelling to Zurich for "socializing" with the client, whatever the feck it means. I told him that I will decide what to do after tomorrow's Skype interview. Lesson learnt not to undersell oneself. Guess the bastard sniffed a lot of money from moi :suicide:

- An ex-client contacted me on LinkedIn this afternoon and asked me if I could help her with one of her projects running out of Italy. 3 days a week in Milan, 2 days from home, and 2 days a month from the UK office. All expenses for Italy trips paid in GBP in the UK. Sounds wonderful, though I had tough time with this client in the past. The positive side - Italy, good punts, etc :wink

Decisions .... :rolleyes:

OwlHoot
8th September 2015, 16:41
Surprising how things can change in an afternoon.

- The agent of the Swiss client came back to me this afternoon and asked me if I would be interested in travelling to Zurich for "socializing" with the client, whatever the feck it means. ...

Oh dear - 46 out of 50 is good for a techie interview, but after the "socializing" interview perhaps that low rate offer you lamented will be a life saver :laugh

FatLazyContractor
8th September 2015, 16:43
Oh dear - 46 out of 50 is good for a techie interview, but after the "socializing" interview perhaps that low rate offer you lamented will be a life saver :laugh

I realy honestly don't have a fecking clue what I was thinking when I quoted the money I did :suicide:

Learn lessons and move on I guess. :ind

How are the other benchers coping? :tumble:

SimonMac
9th September 2015, 08:10
Changed the bulb in my 500W site light.

Painted the kitchen ceiling.

No calls.

Ho hum.

Your reputation precedes you

suityou01
9th September 2015, 08:31
Your reputation precedes you

Well that was very hurtful. Was that really necessary? :emb

FatLazyContractor
9th September 2015, 08:43
Interview with the Swiss twats postponed to afternoon as the client is "busy" this morning :winker:

The lady from previous client is very keen to have me on board. Had major fights with the delivery managers in the previous stint so treading very carefully. However the lady arranged a meeting this afternoon to discuss more. She assured that she will be the one managing this prog of work, so looking positive. :smokin

FatLazyContractor
9th September 2015, 08:44
Well that was very hurtful. Was that really necessary? :emb

MF is saying worse things about you :mad

suityou01
9th September 2015, 08:45
MF is saying worse things about you :mad

Yes but MF has no soul, his wife shags around and his kids are ashamed of him. So you have to cut him some slack.

BrilloPad
9th September 2015, 08:46
Well that was very hurtful. Was that really necessary? :emb

:confused:

I think your reputation is wonderful.

Andy2
9th September 2015, 08:49
My morning routine on the bench is to watch king of queens, everybody loves raymond and frasier on channel 4
and then its time for lunch.

FatLazyContractor
9th September 2015, 08:50
My morning routine on the bench is to watch king of queens, everybody loves raymond and frasier on channel 4
and then its time for lunch.

Ah, why aren't you on my list?! Which role on the bench would you like? :D

SimonMac
9th September 2015, 08:51
Changed the bulb in my 500W site light.

Painted the kitchen ceiling.

No calls.

Ho hum.

Your posting history precedes you

Any better?

TheLordDave
9th September 2015, 09:08
I have emptied the shed into a skip, moved some chippings, walked the dog and am about to cut the grass and had a call last night. Then I'm off on holiday next Friday, then moving house. So really I have no time for working anyway!

Dallas
9th September 2015, 09:10
Ditto :smokin

FatLazyContractor
9th September 2015, 09:10
My morning routine on the bench is to watch king of queens, everybody loves raymond and frasier on channel 4
and then its time for lunch.

You are on the roll of honour as AndyW's mum's personal assistant :D

Andy2
9th September 2015, 09:13
You are on the roll of honour as AndyW's mum's personal assistant :D

Thank you kind Sir.

Dark Black
9th September 2015, 10:34
Yesterday:

Surfed a bit
Scanned some family photos for the older sibblings
Tinkered with the cars

Call from agent ref. gigs in Europe (not interested - he was very pushy though, lost count of the number of times I said I don't do across the channel)

Today:

Surfed a bit
Currently building up the enthusiasm to tinker with cars some more...

No calls so far

:tumble:

FatLazyContractor
9th September 2015, 10:42
Yesterday:

Surfed a bit
Scanned some family photos for the older sibblings
Tinkered with the cars

Call from agent ref. gigs in Europe (not interested - he was very pushy though, lost count of the number of times I said I don't do across the channel)

Today:

Surfed a bit
Currently building up the enthusiasm to tinker with cars some more...

No calls so far

:tumble:

Welcome to the club, added you to the list. Post TBC :tongue

suityou01
9th September 2015, 11:18
Organised an interview for next Tuesday with that lot in the Midlands. I did this because Brillo said so.

You don't mess with Brillo.

FatLazyContractor
9th September 2015, 11:23
Organised an interview for next Tuesday with that lot in the Midlands. I did this because Brillo said so.

You don't mess with Brillo.

Does Brillo (the ladies man) know your house address? :talk:

suityou01
9th September 2015, 11:27
Does Brillo (the ladies man) know your house address? :talk:

Brillo has all our addresses. He drops in like the bloke out of the Milk Tray advert.

Trust me on this. He's smoother than a Luther Vandross EP.

FatLazyContractor
9th September 2015, 13:13
Guess I have to find a successor for the role of President and Chairman of this club soon. :D

Had a call with the lady from prev client. Shall not be working with any of the twats I had fights with. 2 days a week from Italy/Spain if required and the rest from home. Trip to Berkshire once every two weeks. All expenses outside UK paid (Flights, hotels etc). I am tempted :smokin

alreadypacked
9th September 2015, 16:30
Yesterday:

Surfed a bit
Scanned some family photos for the older sibblings
Tinkered with the cars

Call from agent ref. gigs in Europe (not interested - he was very pushy though, lost count of the number of times I said I don't do across the channel)

Today:

Surfed a bit
Currently building up the enthusiasm to tinker with cars some more...

No calls so far

:tumble:

Walk along the beach in the morning
Surfed a bit
Applied on-line for a couple of roles
Afternoon by the pool.

Phone turned off
No calls so far

:glasses

suityou01
9th September 2015, 17:08
One of my gigs fell through as the client was interviewing cheaper candidates first. <strikes from list>

Still got an interview for next Tuesday so 1 iron in the fire at least.

Painted the feature wall in the kitchen.

DimPrawn
9th September 2015, 18:09
Painted the feature wall in the kitchen.

Yeah, it's looking better.

http://www.derrshauling.com/NastyKitchen.jpg

FatLazyContractor
10th September 2015, 18:21
A step closer to being boomed. The Prog Mgr called me a while ago to discuss the challenges and the vendors I shall be working with.

Location confirmed as shuttling between Milan and Madrid alternative weeks (Tuesday - Thursday) and WFH for rest of the time. Rate agreed - what I used to charge them a couple of years ago. Did not want to sound greedy due to the fact that I can WFH when I want to and all Flight/Hotel bookings including expenses fully paid.

Boomed thread to follow after a successful contract review and signing. Not too bothered about agency as I have a choice of three agencies to choose from. Worked with all three of them in the past.

Heading off to Cap D'agde on Saturday for 10 days of "fun" followed by a week at home before the gig. :smokin

NickFitz
10th September 2015, 19:00
A step closer to being boomed. The Prog Mgr called me a while ago to discuss the challenges and the vendors I shall be working with.

Location confirmed as shuttling between Milan and Madrid alternative weeks (Tuesday - Thursday) and WFH for rest of the time. Rate agreed - what I used to charge them a couple of years ago. Did not want to sound greedy due to the fact that I can WFH when I want to and all Flight/Hotel bookings including expenses fully paid.

Boomed thread to follow after a successful contract review and signing. Not too bothered about agency as I have a choice of three agencies to choose from. Worked with all three of them in the past.

Heading off to Cap D'agde on Saturday for 10 days of "fun" followed by a week at home before the gig. :smokin

Sounds good :yay:

TheLordDave
10th September 2015, 19:22
Painted the fence today...

alreadypacked
10th September 2015, 20:44
Hauled ass back to Europe today, feeling a bit cold, not sure how long I will stick it.

I am either off the bench soon or it's back to the beach.

suityou01
11th September 2015, 14:40
Rollered the remaining kitchen walls in Wheatgrass. Left SY02 cutting in while I went running around looking for a TRV lock off cap.

They are like rocking horse poo. I had to buy a whole new TRV from Gibbs and Dandy in the end. :rolleyes:

Took rad off.

Painted wall where rad was.

Painted kitchen door (undercoat only).

Sat listening too music.

Painted kitchen door again.

Washed all the rollers and brushes.

Living the dream. :smokin

NickFitz
11th September 2015, 14:57
Off to London later for this year's State of the Browser conference tomorrow :nerd

FatLazyContractor
11th September 2015, 16:15
Rollered the remaining kitchen walls in Wheatgrass. Left SY02 cutting in while I went running around looking for a TRV lock off cap.

They are like rocking horse poo. I had to buy a whole new TRV from Gibbs and Dandy in the end. :rolleyes:

Took rad off.

Painted wall where rad was.

Painted kitchen door (undercoat only).

Sat listening too music.

Painted kitchen door again.

Washed all the rollers and brushes.

Living the dream. :smokin

How does the wife reward you after a day's work? :alien:

FatLazyContractor
11th September 2015, 16:16
Off to London later for this year's State of the Browser conference tomorrow :nerd

http://cdn.meme.am/instances/30445033.jpg

suityou01
11th September 2015, 16:39
How does the wife reward you after a day's work? :alien:

Well tonight we're having a chiminea, roasting some marshmallows and I shall be sipping fizzy non alcoholic wine while the wife has some Rose.

:happy

FatLazyContractor
11th September 2015, 16:40
Well tonight we're having a chiminea, roasting some marshmallows and I shall be sipping fizzy non alcoholic wine while the wife has some Rose.

:happy

What's wrong with you? Given up on alkie? :eek:

suityou01
11th September 2015, 16:43
What's wrong with you? Given up on alkie? :eek:

For a bit, yes. It's a depressant. :smokin

Plus if I have a drink I'll want a fag. So best lay off for a wee while.

suityou01
14th September 2015, 18:40
Well FLC did you get the gig?

2nd interview tomorrow with the mob in the Midlands that can't make a decision.

Had a call this morning with CVAndInterviewAdvisors, who are going to rewrite my CV. Very impressed with them so far.

suityou01
15th September 2015, 12:17
Pimp : I have secured you a 2nd interview slot with the client in the Midlands. They promise to give a decision in 2 days for this developer role.

<Poodle up there this morning>

ClientCo: Welcome for his informal chat. We really don't have a role right now but might do in the coming months.
Suity : <Grimace> OK sure how can I help?

<Poodling home>

Pimp : How did the interview go?
Suity : They said it wasn't a second interview, but an informal chat and there isn't a role.

Pimp : I'm surprised at that.
Suity : I'm not. I told you they were a bunch of timewasters and you are flogging a dead horse.

I just love being pricked about. Really I do. :suicide:

FiveTimes
15th September 2015, 12:18
Pimp : I have secured you a 2nd interview slot with the client in the Midlands. They promise to give a decision in 2 days for this developer role.

<Poodle up there this morning>

ClientCo: Welcome for his informal chat. We really don't have a role right now but might do in the coming months.
Suity : <Grimace> OK sure how can I help?

<Poodling home>

Pimp : How did the interview go?
Suity : They said it wasn't a second interview, but an informal chat and there isn't a role.

Pimp : I'm surprised at that.
Suity : I'm not. I told you they were a bunch of timewasters and you are flogging a dead horse.

I just love being pricked about. Really I do. :suicide:

But you can claim the business miles as an expense, and you didn't have to paint any walls

MarillionFan
15th September 2015, 12:19
Pimp : I have secured you a 2nd interview slot with the client in the Midlands. They promise to give a decision in 2 days for this developer role.

<Poodle up there this morning>

ClientCo: Welcome for his informal chat. We really don't have a role right now but might do in the coming months.
Suity : <Grimace> OK sure how can I help?

<Poodling home>

Pimp : How did the interview go?
Suity : They said it wasn't a second interview, but an informal chat and there isn't a role.

Pimp : I'm surprised at that.
Suity : I'm not. I told you they were a bunch of timewasters and you are flogging a dead horse.

I just love being pricked about. Really I do. :suicide:

So you're up again next week then. Yes?

Dark Black
15th September 2015, 18:04
Today's excitement:

Got up, checked cwjobs email - nothing suitable

Had breakfast

No calls

Went out to watch Battle of Britain flypast from a field near Goodwood - fantastic sight, bit emotional :emb

No calls

Home for tea.

Settling down to watch flypast coverage on ch4 later

suityou01
16th September 2015, 08:23
Had a call from a pimp this morning so there is signs of life.

He didn't have a gig mind, just checking if I was looking and what my day rate was. A "health check" if you will.

Still it's some activity.

Market does look eerily quiet for this time of year though (in the code monkey space).

SimonMac
16th September 2015, 08:32
Contract ends next week, not even looked at the market, but then again even a "boom time" for my skill set is only one or two real jobs a week on the boards (not including the 5 or 6 pimps flogging the same job)

suityou01
16th September 2015, 08:51
Just reviewed my CV first draft I got back yesterday afternoon from CVAndInterviewAdvisors after the 2 hour phone consultation on Monday.

To say it is an excellent first draft would be an understatement. I really feel the advisor completely understood what I am about and has captured that superbly well. I would normally be too abashed to sell myself like this, but I am really excited.

Cannot recommend them enough. :happy

SimonMac
16th September 2015, 09:01
Just reviewed my CV first draft I got back yesterday afternoon from CVAndInterviewAdvisors after the 2 hour phone consultation on Monday.

To say it is an excellent first draft would be an understatement. I really feel the advisor completely understood what I am about and has captured that superbly well. I would normally be too abashed to sell myself like this, but I am really excited.

Cannot recommend them enough. :happy

¿Cuánto es?

suityou01
16th September 2015, 11:21
¿Cuánto es?

I went in on a special offer. They run them a few times a year. Cost me around 375 plus VAT. Get a full CV rewrite, 8 career summaries and your linked in profile jazzed up.

Well impressed. :happy

DimPrawn
16th September 2015, 11:25
I went in on a special offer. They run them a few times a year. Cost me around 375 plus VAT. Get a full CV rewrite, 8 career summaries and your linked in profile jazzed up.

Well impressed. :happy

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/05/21/article-2147680-06AB8833000005DC-93_468x286.jpg
http://www.designofsignage.com/application/symbol/hands/image/600x600/hand-4-four.jpg
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/f0/09/aa/f009aa52855d15e01ce50dfce93d490a.jpg

suityou01
16th September 2015, 15:23
I think that's overly harsh DP.

So the performance so far :

Applied for 3 roles. 1 callback and converted to an application inside of 10 minutes. :happy

d000hg
16th September 2015, 16:39
I went in on a special offer. They run them a few times a year. Cost me around 375 plus VAT. Get a full CV rewrite, 8 career summaries and your linked in profile jazzed up.

Well impressed. :happy:laugh:laugh:laugh:laugh:laugh:laugh:laugh:l augh:laugh:laugh:laugh:laugh

suityou01
16th September 2015, 16:59
:laugh:laugh:laugh:laugh:laugh:laugh:laugh:laugh:l augh:laugh:laugh:laugh

Judge not, lest ye be judged. :(

DimPrawn
17th September 2015, 09:15
Suity plan b?

Father-of-14 'used dating site to con 11 wealthy women out of £180k' - Telegraph (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/law-and-order/11869091/Father-of-14-used-dating-site-to-con-11-wealthy-women-out-of-180k.html)

suityou01
17th September 2015, 16:21
Just had a call for a dev role in Belgium paying 200 Euros per day.

:suicide:

DimPrawn
17th September 2015, 16:38
Just had a call for a dev role in Belgium paying 200 Euros per day.

:suicide:

:laugh

Burger King denies opening in Belgium | Flanders Today (http://www.flanderstoday.eu/business/burger-king-denies-opening-belgium)

suityou01
18th September 2015, 08:58
Getting a lot of calls for roles that "might start" in 3-4 weeks. Waiting for a decision for a role in the midlands, where they want to hire me but don't have the green light from the customer to kick the project off.

Seems like a slow wake up from August, with the market completely hamstrung as nobody is committing to spending.

Are other benchees finding the same?

Gumbo Robot
18th September 2015, 09:04
Are other benchees finding the same?

Bristol seems to be booming judging by the amount of calls I've been getting. Only just updated my online profiles so I guess this is just an initial surge though.

alreadypacked
18th September 2015, 12:10
Love the tags on this thread :tongue

FatLazyContractor
22nd September 2015, 10:38
Another step closer to being boomed. Got the relevant pre-contract paper work from the agency yesterday.

Who wants to be the chairman of this esteemed club? :cool:

FatLazyContractor
22nd September 2015, 10:45
Well FLC did you get the gig?

Yes, I'd like to think so. Agency called me last week when I was sat with my balls basking under the sun and he sent out the pre-contract paper work y'day.

I chose to stay away from email and internet for 10 days and I am still alive :music:

I just need to test it
22nd September 2015, 10:55
My gig has been a rip-roaring success sadly, hence I am out the door on Friday.

I preferred it when projects went wrong - excitement, chaos, shooting from the hip, adrenaline, extensions.

FatLazyContractor
22nd September 2015, 10:56
My gig has been a rip-roaring success sadly, hence I am out the door on Friday.

I preferred it when projects went wrong - excitement, chaos, shooting from the hip, adrenaline, extensions.

Welcome to the club :D

Which role on this club would you prefer? We are looking for a Stripper :smokin

suityou01
22nd September 2015, 11:06
Yes, I'd like to think so. Agency called me last week when I was sat with my balls basking under the sun and he sent out the pre-contract paper work y'day.

I chose to stay away from email and internet for 10 days and I am still alive :music:

Lot to be said for that. Welcome back :hug:

suityou01
22nd September 2015, 14:44
Apparently that bunch in the Midlands are supposed to be having a meeting today to decide if there really is a role, to support the 2 interviews they have made me drive up for on 2 separate occasions.

I am expecting a call from the agent with news.

15:43 and counting. Not much of today left. :suicide:

FatLazyContractor
22nd September 2015, 14:46
I am expecting a call from the agent with news.



Has the paint on the kitchen ceiling dried yet?

Dark Black
22nd September 2015, 14:48
My exciting day...


Woke up

No calls

Went shopping, took stuff to the tip, posted a package for the missus

No calls

Had lunch

Scanned job boards

No calls

... and it's raining

sums up my life at the moment...

:tumble:

suityou01
22nd September 2015, 14:49
Has the paint on the kitchen ceiling dried yet?

Mesmerising isn't it. :happy

FatLazyContractor
22nd September 2015, 14:57
Already irritated with the current agency as he isn't answering my calls. He said in his email that he is waiting for the PO to be formally approved, but he could have called me back :devil

Wonder if I have to speak to the ProgMgr and change agency :cool1:

suityou01
22nd September 2015, 17:13
Had a mail from the pimp.

Decision tomorrow now. :suicide:

FatLazyContractor
22nd September 2015, 19:57
Had a mail from the pimp.

Decision tomorrow now. :suicide:

How dry is your paint brush? :tongue

NickFitz
22nd September 2015, 20:56
Today I have mainly booked a flu jab and made toad in the hole.

Then again, I didn't get up until this afternoon, having stayed up rewatching the final season of The Thick of It until about five in the morning :o

Tomorrow: we shall see :smokin

FatLazyContractor
22nd September 2015, 21:35
Today I have mainly booked a flu jab and made toad in the hole.

Then again, I didn't get up until this afternoon, having stayed up rewatching the final season of The Thick of It until about five in the morning :o

Tomorrow: we shall see :smokin

Why don't you start posting some of your culinary experiments here instead of on TPD? :D

Will be helpful to the sods out here trying to impress their wife/husband/mistress :smokin

Dark Black
23rd September 2015, 08:52
Today I have mainly booked a flu jab and made toad in the hole.

Then again, I didn't get up until this afternoon, having stayed up rewatching the final season of The Thick of It until about five in the morning :o

Tomorrow: we shall see :smokin

Having my flu jab this afternoon...

...and that's the highlight of the day :suicide:

FatLazyContractor
23rd September 2015, 11:43
Having my flu jab this afternoon...

...and that's the highlight of the day :suicide:

Is the jab shot into your skull these days? -> :suicide:

:rolleyes:

FatLazyContractor
23rd September 2015, 11:44
Suity - Any news from the agency? Or were they having some fun? :ohwell

FatLazyContractor
23rd September 2015, 11:49
Up at 7.

Been to the GP to see if there are easier ways to get some sharp something out that got stabbed into my thumb while snorkeling last week. Told me to MTFU and wait :winker:

Went on a bike ride along the canal into Bingley - 23 miles :smokin

Had lunch.

ProgMgr from the new client called earlier to see how it was going. Shat on the agent and she promised the contract will arrive by tomorrow :smokin

Now time for an hours' snooze followed by an afternoon of Rubgy :cool:

suityou01
23rd September 2015, 12:32
Suity - Any news from the agency? Or were they having some fun? :ohwell

Still nowt. :suicide:

DimPrawn
23rd September 2015, 12:56
Today's motivational message....

https://bmauritz.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/winners-vs-losers.jpg

BrilloPad
23rd September 2015, 13:02
Today's motivational message....

https://bmauritz.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/winners-vs-losers.jpg

Winners - have BTL
Losers - have no BTL

FatLazyContractor
23rd September 2015, 15:05
Winners - have BTL
Losers - have no BTL

What does that make MF? A :winker: ?

BrilloPad
23rd September 2015, 15:08
What does that make MF? A :winker: ?

He fantasises about being a :winker:

suityou01
23rd September 2015, 16:01
Still nowt. :suicide:

alreadypacked
23rd September 2015, 16:08
I really tried not to do it, but 10 min into a call today, when can you start?

Heigh-Ho, Heigh-Ho, it's off to work we go!

suityou01
24th September 2015, 08:05
Morning team. :ohwell

Time to get up and greet the day.

Fried egg on toast for starters methinks. And instant coffee.

Then sand the door frame in the kitchen after the failed filling attempt. Polyfilla on bare wood just doesn't work. :suicide:

Happy contract hunting. May the job boards be bountiful. :)

FatLazyContractor
24th September 2015, 08:09
I really tried not to do it, but 10 min into a call today, when can you start?

Heigh-Ho, Heigh-Ho, it's off to work we go!

:banana::banana::banana:

Where's the boomed thread lass? :D

alreadypacked
24th September 2015, 11:24
:banana::banana::banana:

Where's the boomed thread lass? :D

It's only a 4 month consulting role. I am saving the boomed thread for the year contract on a mega rate. Maybe seen the last of them, but I live in hope. :D

suityou01
24th September 2015, 11:35
Always an excuse with this wunch. It was holiday period. Then they had a meeting Tuesday with everyone back from holiday. Decision expected Tuesday. Then it was "looking positive" and with one guy for a final decision.

Agency can't get hold of anyone. No one returning his calls.

It boggles my mind how any human being can be so utterly disrespectful to his fellow man. At the end of the day we're only trying to feed our families.

Why drag it on for months and months?

:winker:

DimPrawn
24th September 2015, 11:38
Today's motivational message:

http://sd.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/i/stop-bitching-and-get-a-job.png

DimPrawn
24th September 2015, 14:19
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secretary_problem


The basic form of the problem is the following: imagine an administrator willing to hire the best secretary out of n rankable applicants for a position. The applicants are interviewed one by one in random order. A decision about each particular applicant is to be made immediately after the interview. Once rejected, an applicant cannot be recalled. During the interview, the administrator can rank the applicant among all applicants interviewed so far, but is unaware of the quality of yet unseen applicants. The question is about the optimal strategy (stopping rule) to maximize the probability of selecting the best applicant.

....

The problem has an elegant solution. The optimal stopping rule prescribes always rejecting the first n/e applicants after the interview (where e is the base of the natural logarithm) and then stopping at the first applicant who is better than every applicant interviewed so far (or continuing to the last applicant if this never occurs).

Maybe Suity is always in the first n/e to be interviewed?

:rolleyes:

FatLazyContractor
24th September 2015, 14:50
It boggles my mind how any human being can be so utterly disrespectful to his fellow man.


Yes, you are however an exception innit? :D



At the end of the day we're only trying to feed our families.


No. You are shagging and making a bigger family. :tongue

And yes, HTH.

FatLazyContractor
24th September 2015, 15:00
Another step closer.

All the pre-contract paperwork has arrived after a phone call with agency.

PO approved for 6 months and confirmed :smokin

Starting date provided to the manager as 5th Oct. Planned the contractors come in next week to sort my new electronic gates :smokin

Time to do the fecking paperwork (12 documents) for contract to be prepared :bang:

Yorkshire lamb shank cooking in the slow cooker with a Red wine jus :D

suityou01
24th September 2015, 16:11
Finally got an answer. No dice. No project. No role. Wasting my time all along.

:winker:

FiveTimes
24th September 2015, 16:18
Finally got an answer. No dice. No project. No role. Wasting my time all along.

:winker:

At least you can move on now. Onwards and upwards.

FatLazyContractor
24th September 2015, 18:32
Finally got an answer. No dice. No project. No role. Wasting my time all along.

:winker:

:hug:

You can atleast claim mileage from your company for those trips to the dreadful midlands :smokin

Is anything left in the company though ? :ind

FatLazyContractor
25th September 2015, 07:55
Interview at 9:30 this morning for a role I applied on Monday for fun.

Role involves one week in London followed by Remote working and a week later for delivery of design. Medium sized project planning to implement SAP HANA procedures and are looking for some advice.

Let us see if I can make my position stronger on IR35 with the :winker:s at HMRC

:smokin

MarillionFan
25th September 2015, 08:30
Finally got an answer. No dice. No project. No role. Wasting my time all along.

:winker:


At least you can move on now. Onwards and upwards.

He should have already moved on. He's like a love sick boyfriend, waiting on the phone, wondering if he'll get a text.

I think Suitys problem is his obviously high sperm count. Every time he looks at his missus she gets pregnant, so he thinks this type of success in the job market must translate.:tongue

You got a sew a lot of seeds before one takes in contracting.

FatLazyContractor
25th September 2015, 09:23
Interview at 9:30 this morning for a role I applied on Monday for fun.

Role involves one week in London followed by Remote working and a week later for delivery of design. Medium sized project planning to implement SAP HANA procedures and are looking for some advice.

Let us see if I can make my position stronger on IR35 with the :winker:s at HMRC

:smokin

Had a good interview. The interviewer was straight to the point no-nonsense guy.

At the end of the interview, he used positive language of an offer so awaiting a call from the pimp.

@HMRC -> :winker:

FatLazyContractor
25th September 2015, 09:24
I think Suitys problem is his obviously high sperm count.

Proof/Pic or it never happened :smokin

Dark Black
25th September 2015, 09:30
The Sun's out today.. which is nice. Think I'll go outside and tinker with the cars :smile

Had a possible lead yesterday from agent - until I see an interview I'll not hold my breath. It's not local.

Still very very quiet though

:tumble:

suityou01
25th September 2015, 09:38
Got a call from a pimp about a role we discussed 2 weeks ago. Very niche BPM product I haven't used in around 4 years. ClientCo can't find anyone with recent experience so I'm back in with a shout.

So the pimp put me forward, and ClientCo has already received my CV 4 times from other agents!

I think I'm about to be binned because of this, and I wouldn't blame them.

But seriously, pimps get right on my tits sometimes. :mad

FatLazyContractor
25th September 2015, 09:42
Got a call from a pimp about a role we discussed 2 weeks ago. Very niche BPM product I haven't used in around 4 years. ClientCo can't find anyone with recent experience so I'm back in with a shout.

So the pimp put me forward, and ClientCo has already received my CV 4 times from other agents!

I think I'm about to be binned because of this, and I wouldn't blame them.

But seriously, pimps get right on my tits sometimes. :mad

You never know. Client might think you are the number one choice for 4 agents and hence you are really good at what you do.

Don't give up hope yet.

suityou01
25th September 2015, 09:44
You never know. Client might think you are the number one choice for 4 agents and hence you are really good at what you do.

Don't give up hope yet.

I just trawled my mailbox. It does look like on 2 counts I am to blame. The problem is that unless you know the client name how can you ensure there are no collisions?

FatLazyContractor
25th September 2015, 09:51
I just trawled my mailbox. It does look like on 2 counts I am to blame. The problem is that unless you know the client name how can you ensure there are no collisions?

No you aren't and you have answered your question.

What makes you a :cretin: is the fact that you have let multiple agents put you forward for the same role. Or have those agents never contacted you before sending your CV out to the client?

suityou01
25th September 2015, 09:55
No you aren't and you have answered your question.

What makes you a :cretin: is the fact that you have let multiple agents put you forward for the same role. Or have those agents never contacted you before sending your CV out to the client?

There are 5 copies of my CV with the client. I authorised 2, through different agencies. On 1 count I knew the client name.

DimPrawn
25th September 2015, 10:13
There are 5 copies of my CV with the client. I authorised 2, through different agencies. On 1 count I knew the client name.

I love the way the you come across as incompetent before you've even landed the contract.

suityou01
25th September 2015, 11:21
I love the way the you come across as incompetent before you've even landed the contract.

It's tricky. How long after an agent say they will send you across, and send you an email and you hear absolutely nothing not even an email, do you consider that nothing happened or it's dead in the water?

If another agent then calls you with a promising sounding gig some weeks later, do you say "oh hang on I was submitted for a role with such and such 6 weeks ago?".

Play the excessively long game, and engage hundreds of agencies and expect no duplicates?

3/5 were unsolicited. So to pin this all on me as being incompetent does seem a tad harsh.

I could keep better records though. Then again agents don't really respond to "I don't have my notebook on my at the moment can you leave me your number and I'll call you back". Unless you give the nod there and then the opportunity will float onto the next poor sod on the list.

suityou01
28th September 2015, 06:51
The very best of luck to all those benchees looking for contracts this week.

Chin up folks. Gonna pick up. :happy

BrilloPad
28th September 2015, 07:35
It's tricky. How long after an agent say they will send you across, and send you an email and you hear absolutely nothing not even an email, do you consider that nothing happened or it's dead in the water?


The question should never arise. It is always dead in the water until something happens.

Keep applying.

FatLazyContractor
28th September 2015, 07:36
The question should never arise. It is always dead in the water until something happens.

Keep applying.

Wise words 'em from a permie :D

MarillionFan
28th September 2015, 07:40
The question should never arise. You've gotten away with it, until Operation Yewtree comes a knocking

Keep denying.

FTFY

Dallas
28th September 2015, 08:29
The very best of luck to all those benchees looking for contracts this week.

Chin up folks. Gonna pick up. :happy

Why is it that you are the only one who seems to experience the most problems and ... It's never your fault?

Clown!

FatLazyContractor
28th September 2015, 08:30
Why is it that you are the only one who seems to experience the most problems and ... It's never your fault?

Clown!

:popcorn:

suityou01
28th September 2015, 10:05
Why is it that you are the only one who seems to experience the most problems and ... It's never your fault?

Clown!

*cough*

http://forums.contractoruk.com/business-contracts/109268-contract-market-currently-pants.html

http://forums.contractoruk.com/business-contracts/108709-anyone-else-suffering-holiday-lull.html

Now go and pop the kettle on luv. :winker:

Dallas
28th September 2015, 18:01
:violin:

I just got a couple of :banana2:

Laters :glasses

fool
28th September 2015, 18:25
*cough*

http://forums.contractoruk.com/business-contracts/109268-contract-market-currently-pants.html

http://forums.contractoruk.com/business-contracts/108709-anyone-else-suffering-holiday-lull.html

Now go and pop the kettle on luv. :winker:

At least some of the folks on the bench are saying they generally work in one area.

What do you do when you're on the bench? If I were you, I'd be trying to escape microsoft land and I'd be booting some *nix and learning myself like python, node or java. That doesn't mean never take another .Net contract, just that the market is always going to want good developers, but sometimes not good .Net developers.

TykeMerc
28th September 2015, 19:00
At least some of the folks on the bench are saying they generally work in one area.

What do you do when you're on the bench? If I were you, I'd be trying to escape microsoft land and I'd be booting some *nix and learning myself like python, node or java. That doesn't mean never take another .Net contract, just that the market is always going to want good developers, but sometimes not good .Net developers.

I have an issue with the words in bold.
All the evidence, spammed at endless length and frequency by the complete and utter twait (whoops nearly a typo there) who wouldn't know the truth if it tapdanced on his skull in hobnails, shows that he wouldn't know good if a truckload was delivered to him on a daily basis.





Just an opinion of course :)

suityou01
28th September 2015, 19:12
You're so much more friendly since the ban.

cojak
28th September 2015, 21:17
You're so much more friendly since the ban.

And you need to stop poking TM with that 'you can't touch me' stick, because NAT and I can...

TykeMerc
28th September 2015, 21:35
And you need to stop poking TM with that 'you can't touch me' stick, because NAT and I can...

No need for that, he knows I think he's a twait (is that word officially on the banned list now as NAT likes to ban me for using it? It's been extensively used by others. If it's banned then it could do with going on the starred out or auto replace list.) who lies constantly, has a track record of "banter" which would see prosecution if it came to light and makes up an endless stream of attention seeking total bollocks.
The only thing that would change my opinion would require him to actually obtain a personality, some integrity and some comedy value, that would not only require massive surgery, but a brain donor too.

suityou01
29th September 2015, 06:03
No need for that, he knows I think he's a twait (is that word officially on the banned list now as NAT likes to ban me for using it? It's been extensively used by others. If it's banned then it could do with going on the starred out or auto replace list.) who lies constantly, has a track record of "banter" which would see prosecution if it came to light and makes up an endless stream of attention seeking total bollocks.
The only thing that would change my opinion would require him to actually obtain a personality, some integrity and some comedy value, that would not only require massive surgery, but a brain donor too.

Just because you and a mod that hates my guts chose deliberately and with great alacrity to tenuously misconstrue two separate sentences, does not make my banter prosecutable. I would strenuously and copiously defend myself safe in the belief that I know I have done nothing wrong, and am in fact the victim of this unwarranted attack.

I have asked you to cease and desist many times on this topic, which your pursuit of is in itself prosecutable as it is groundless defamation.

On another note, Cojak you can do one. This twisted sockie has been on my back for months so don't get all high and mighty. If you actually fecking modded he would have been permabanned long ago for haranguing me off the board, but your personal over emotional hatred of me entangles and cheapens your judgement.

Others have called, unsuccessfully, for you to step down as a mod but you won't take the hint.

And don't even think you can justify yourself here, because you can't. You have permabanned others for haranguing other posters off the board. Gittins Gal was one notable sockie that you defended, for reasons I cannot fathom.

I suggest you do this board a favour and step down as mod and let someone else take over that can actually do the job without getting personally and emotionally involved.

HTH

Martin Scroatman
29th September 2015, 06:14
Just because you and a mod that hates my guts chose deliberately and with great alacrity to tenuously misconstrue two separate sentences, does not make my banter prosecutable. I would strenuously and copiously defend myself safe in the belief that I know I have done nothing wrong, and am in fact the victim of this unwarranted attack.

I have asked you to cease and desist many times on this topic, which your pursuit of is in itself prosecutable as it is groundless defamation.

On another note, Cojak you can do one. This twisted sockie has been on my back for months so don't get all high and mighty. If you actually fecking modded he would have been permabanned long ago for haranguing me off the board, but your personal over emotional hatred of me entangles and cheapens your judgement.

Others have called, unsuccessfully, for you to step down as a mod but you won't take the hint.

And don't even think you can justify yourself here, because you can't. You have permabanned others for haranguing other posters off the board. Gittins Gal was one notable sockie that you defended, for reasons I cannot fathom.

I suggest you do this board a favour and step down as mod and let someone else take over that can actually do the job without getting personally and emotionally involved.

HTH

Why not just put the nobber on ignore?

Dallas
29th September 2015, 06:55
Suity telling cojak to 'do one' is never going to end well.

FatLazyContractor
29th September 2015, 07:09
This is a do-no-gooders thread.

Can we all stop bullying each other and instead focus our emotional and physical energies in beating the crap out of that permie liar MF please? :rolleyes:

That will at least be of some comedy value.

FatLazyContractor
29th September 2015, 07:17
Suity telling cojak to 'do one' is never going to end well.

Do you still want to be my hot and sexy personal secretary? :smokin

DimPrawn
29th September 2015, 14:19
Today's motivational message:

https://c.mql5.com/1/26/000.gif

MaryPoppins
29th September 2015, 14:33
Just because you and a mod that hates my guts chose deliberately and with great alacrity to tenuously misconstrue two separate sentences, does not make my banter prosecutable. I would strenuously and copiously defend myself safe in the belief that I know I have done nothing wrong, and am in fact the victim of this unwarranted attack.

I have asked you to cease and desist many times on this topic, which your pursuit of is in itself prosecutable as it is groundless defamation.

On another note, Cojak you can do one. This twisted sockie has been on my back for months so don't get all high and mighty. If you actually fecking modded he would have been permabanned long ago for haranguing me off the board, but your personal over emotional hatred of me entangles and cheapens your judgement.

Others have called, unsuccessfully, for you to step down as a mod but you won't take the hint.

And don't even think you can justify yourself here, because you can't. You have permabanned others for haranguing other posters off the board. Gittins Gal was one notable sockie that you defended, for reasons I cannot fathom.

I suggest you do this board a favour and step down as mod and let someone else take over that can actually do the job without getting personally and emotionally involved.

HTH

Why don't you simply ignore him? Is it because you're actually incapable of ignoring attention - in whatever form?

Perhaps you ought to try try posting on an internet forum without getting 'personally and emotionally involved' before having a pop at others for what you perceive as the same behaviour.

FatLazyContractor
29th September 2015, 15:06
Why don't you simply ignore him? Is it because you're actually incapable of ignoring attention - in whatever form?



Like what love? Telling him to 'Piss off' ? :D

suityou01
2nd October 2015, 15:50
In for 5 gigs. One of them converted to an interview next Monday. :smokin

Things looking up at last? :happy

NickFitz
2nd October 2015, 16:16
In for 5 gigs. One of them converted to an interview next Monday. :smokin

Things looking up at last? :happy

:yay:

FatLazyContractor
5th October 2015, 09:09
PO at the end client is still in a queue and might take a couple of days more for approval :rolleyes:

Agent tried to push me to sign an "initial contract" and start work today. Told him to find a cheese stuffed pepper and shove it up his arse as I will not set my foot in without an approved PO and a final contract :smokin

It is so fecking miserable weather wise and I will need to find my depression pills shortly :(

I shall continue to be on bench for a few more days :cool:

suityou01
5th October 2015, 10:56
Just nipping into town for my interview.

Ho hum.

FatLazyContractor
5th October 2015, 11:40
Just nipping into town for my interview.

Ho hum.

Good luck mate

BrilloPad
5th October 2015, 12:13
Suity telling cojak to 'do one' is never going to end well.

Coming from someone who makes everyone cry...

BrilloPad
5th October 2015, 12:14
In for 5 gigs. One of them converted to an interview next Monday. :smokin

Things looking up at last? :happy

If you get the gig, will you be nice to eek so he will reappear?

NickFitz
5th October 2015, 12:21
Just nipping into town for my interview.

Ho hum.

Good luck! :yay:

FiveTimes
5th October 2015, 12:40
Just nipping into town for my interview.

Ho hum.

go get 'em tiger

FiveTimes
6th October 2015, 07:56
Just nipping into town for my interview.

Ho hum.

Well? How did it go ?

cojak
6th October 2015, 08:34
Suity telling cojak to 'do one' is never going to end well.

:rolleyes:

Emotionally involved. As if it was that important...

Oh yes. Good luck with the interview.

suityou01
7th October 2015, 14:11
Well? How did it go ?

Pretty standard interview. Seem nice enough. Seems like a really good gig.

Lots more interviews for them to do, so I hope to have feedback at the end of the week. Being realistic though it is long odds, and I'm sure there are others better qualified than me going for it.

suityou01
7th October 2015, 14:12
[SuitySnip]
Oh yes. Good luck with the interview.

Thank you Cojak. :shakehandsmiley:

MarillionFan
7th October 2015, 14:41
Can we close and lock this thread now, starting an Autumn thread. And then again in Winter

I want to see if Suity can do the grand slam.

suityou01
7th October 2015, 14:45
Can we close and lock this thread now, starting an Autumn thread. And then again in Winter

I want to see if Suity can do the grand slam.

I was wondering if you had :

Been shitcanned.
Had a breakdown.
Resigned.
Had a heart attack / stroke.

We hear more of you than me these days, and your problems.

Just sayin.

MarillionFan
7th October 2015, 14:47
I was wondering if you had :

Been tulipcanned.
Had a breakdown.
Resigned.
Had a heart attack / stroke.

We hear more of you than me these days, and your problems.

Just sayin.

None of the above. Made 4k on the stock market this week though. Which was nice.

suityou01
7th October 2015, 14:49
None of the above. Made 4k on the stock market this week though. Which was nice.

Good for you. I am pleased. A bit nearer your number I hope.

Peace.

fullyautomatix
7th October 2015, 16:03
Just because you and a mod that hates my guts chose deliberately and with great alacrity to tenuously misconstrue two separate sentences, does not make my banter prosecutable. I would strenuously and copiously defend myself safe in the belief that I know I have done nothing wrong, and am in fact the victim of this unwarranted attack.

I have asked you to cease and desist many times on this topic, which your pursuit of is in itself prosecutable as it is groundless defamation.

On another note, Cojak you can do one. This twisted sockie has been on my back for months so don't get all high and mighty. If you actually fecking modded he would have been permabanned long ago for haranguing me off the board, but your personal over emotional hatred of me entangles and cheapens your judgement.

Others have called, unsuccessfully, for you to step down as a mod but you won't take the hint.

And don't even think you can justify yourself here, because you can't. You have permabanned others for haranguing other posters off the board. Gittins Gal was one notable sockie that you defended, for reasons I cannot fathom.

I suggest you do this board a favour and step down as mod and let someone else take over that can actually do the job without getting personally and emotionally involved.

HTH


Agree with Suity here. Cojack had a massive judgement error with GittinsGal, god knows what the both had going. That she even thought GG could have been genuine is beyond comprehension.

suityou01
7th October 2015, 16:38
I would have expected a boom thread from FLC by now. :confused:

FatLazyContractor
7th October 2015, 16:54
I would have expected a boom thread from FLC by now. :confused:

Here (http://forums.contractoruk.com/general/109332-boomed.html) :D

suityou01
7th October 2015, 16:57
Here (http://forums.contractoruk.com/general/109332-boomed.html) :D

So have you got the paperwork through now? Did you start on 05.10?

FatLazyContractor
7th October 2015, 17:02
So have you got the paperwork through now? Did you start on 05.10?

The agent asked me to start on 5th without a contract and I told him to get stuffed. Spoke to the Clientco manager yesterday and she confirmed that the PO is in the final stage of approval and that the official project kick off isn't until 12th Oct and hence the delay. She said that she will not sign the contract with agency unless all approvals are in place and I understand that the agency doesn't want to provide me the final contract unless they have the clientco contract

The agent was probably greedy for an extra week's cut :rolleyes:

suityou01
7th October 2015, 17:16
The agent asked me to start on 5th without a contract and I told him to get stuffed. Spoke to the Clientco manager yesterday and she confirmed that the PO is in the final stage of approval and that the official project kick off isn't until 12th Oct and hence the delay. She said that she will not sign the contract with agency unless all approvals are in place and I understand that the agency doesn't want to provide me the final contract unless they have the clientco contract

The agent was probably greedy for an extra week's cut :rolleyes:

So not boomed yet then. A premature boom. You peaked too soon.

SimonMac
7th October 2015, 17:25
Agree with Suity here. Cojack had a massive judgement error with GittinsGal, god knows what the both had going. That she even thought GG could have been genuine is beyond comprehension.

Alas therein lies the problems, this is not a democracy, it's a dictatorship and Admin has vested the power in the mods, you either abide by the rules (even if you seem them unfair) or go elsewhere

BrilloPad
7th October 2015, 19:00
Pretty standard interview. Seem nice enough. Seems like a really good gig.

Lots more interviews for them to do, so I hope to have feedback at the end of the week. Being realistic though it is long odds, and I'm sure there are others better qualified than me going for it.

Good luck.


Can we close and lock this thread now, starting an Autumn thread. And then again in Winter

I want to see if Suity can do the grand slam.

Lets keep celebrating the losers then. http://forums.contractoruk.com/general/109202-official-cuk-boomed-autumn-2015-a.html

I just need to test it
8th October 2015, 11:37
Just coming to the end of Bench Week 2 and it's been ace.

I applied for a couple of gigs - one in a red-tape-riddled environment where a few contractor friends have warned me I will hate it, and another in a moment of weakness with a terrible rate - excused by the fact they're looking for someone junior. The agent asked me if I was happy with the rate ("Uhm, yeah") then asked if I could work independently with fag packet specifications. I smell a rat.

Dallas
8th October 2015, 11:48
I am on bench week 6, couple of offers in the bag, nice rate hike and start dates in a few weeks.

Tonnes of roles out there for all yee naysayers :smokin

2 more weeks of freedom

suityou01
8th October 2015, 11:57
Still waiting to hear back on my interview. I know the last interview concluded nearly 24 hrs ago.

I may be more sensitive to this sit and wait game because the previous interviewer pricked me about for 6 weeks before telling me there was no gig.

Then again when I've been on the hiring side of the desk I've always wanted to get feedback to the agent asap as I don't like keeping people dangling.

I don't remember the hiring process being so Kafkaesque in days of yore, and wonder if it's a function of supply outstripping demand and ClientCos feasting on this knowledge with self important glee.

BrilloPad
8th October 2015, 13:29
I am on bench week 6, couple of offers in the bag, nice rate hike and start dates in a few weeks.

Tonnes of roles out there for all yee naysayers :smokin

2 more weeks of freedom

Will you take the role with the most number of people you can make cry?


Still waiting to hear back on my interview. I know the last interview concluded nearly 24 hrs ago.

I may be more sensitive to this sit and wait game because the previous interviewer pricked me about for 6 weeks before telling me there was no gig.

Then again when I've been on the hiring side of the desk I've always wanted to get feedback to the agent asap as I don't like keeping people dangling.

I don't remember the hiring process being so Kafkaesque in days of yore, and wonder if it's a function of supply outstripping demand and ClientCos feasting on this knowledge with self important glee.

I hope you hear soon and its good news.

I remember when hiring process was easy. It was run by personnel rather than HR. Viz was funny. And AndyW was a twinkle in my eye.

MicrosoftBob
8th October 2015, 13:34
Will you take the role with the most number of people you can make cry?



I hope you hear soon and its good news.

I remember when hiring process was easy. It was run by personnel rather than HR. Viz was funny. And AndyW was a winkle in my eye.

FTFY

suityou01
8th October 2015, 15:51
Will you take the role with the most number of people you can make cry?



I hope you hear soon and its good news.

I remember when hiring process was easy. It was run by personnel rather than HR. Viz was funny. And AndyW was a twinkle in my eye.

Thanks Bud.

At 16:49 I would it won't be today. I have no idea why they want to string it out for another 24 hrs. At interview they said they were snowed with work and wanted someone to start asap.
Confused and frustrated.

nomadd
8th October 2015, 16:11
At [the] interview they said they were snowed [under] with work and wanted someone to start asap.

You're obviously quite new to this Contracting lark.


Confused and frustrated.

You're obviously quite new to this Contracting lark.

suityou01
8th October 2015, 16:19
You're obviously quite new to this Contracting lark.



You're obviously quite new to this Contracting lark.

Relatively new. Started in 2007.

suityou01
9th October 2015, 10:43
Still waiting :suicide:

FatLazyContractor
9th October 2015, 10:46
Still waiting :suicide:

Same here, for the contract. :suicide:

suityou01
9th October 2015, 10:54
Same here, for the contract. :suicide:

:hug:

Dark Black
9th October 2015, 12:26
Things looking up...

Interview next week, local, decent rate... everything crossed :happy

FatLazyContractor
9th October 2015, 12:28
Things looking up...

Interview next week, local, decent rate... everything crossed :happy

:yay:

All the best. :hug: -> No :tongue s

suityou01
9th October 2015, 12:59
Things looking up...

Interview next week, local, decent rate... everything crossed :happy

Good show. Here's hoping for you bud. :hug:

suityou01
9th October 2015, 15:00
Aaaaaand still not heard back. "Feedback by the end of the week" is either very very literal, or they have no intention of delivering on their promises.

This is starting to become worryingly common practice these days.

FatLazyContractor
9th October 2015, 15:33
Just heard back from the manager who was very apologetic and embarrassed about what she did. Apparently she raised my PO against the wrong cost center. The owner of the CC tuliped on her this morning and that was how she knew it :facepalm:

She re-raised the PO on the new CC this morning and it is now in the queue for approvals :rolleyes:

This means I will probably not start work on Monday. And that means I will not be travelling on Sunday. And hence I can watch all rugby matches over the weekend :D

FatLazyContractor
9th October 2015, 15:35
Aaaaaand still not heard back. "Feedback by the end of the week" is either very very literal, or they have no intention of delivering on their promises.

This is starting to become worryingly common practice these days.

What do you mean "these days" ? :eyes

I'd personally forget the contract and move on. If there ever was a real gig and if the client is efficient enough, they would have made a decision by now.

suityou01
9th October 2015, 15:53
What do you mean "these days" ? :eyes

I'd personally forget the contract and move on. If there ever was a real gig and if the client is efficient enough, they would have made a decision by now.

I think you're right. The agent says he has done a lot of business with this hiring manager and it is highly unusual not to get feedback in the agreed timeframe. Indeed he has tried to contact other members of the team apparently.

It's all rather odd, particularly unpleasant and highly unprofessional.

I unclog my nose in their general direction. :winker:

FatLazyContractor
9th October 2015, 16:06
The agent says

That is where it should ideally end.



It's all rather odd, particularly unpleasant and highly unprofessional.

It seems to be the norm these days. Guess we as contractors should baseline it and have conversations with agents keeping that in mind :eyes

FatLazyContractor
12th October 2015, 08:22
Cold morning.

Sunny.

Bored. Need some action. :frown

Expecting a message from the PM today about the status of contract. Desperate for some action as I'm bored to death at home. :suicide:

Trip to the Dry cleaners in some time. Found some stains on my Hugo Boss suit jacket :tantrum:

Ho-fecking-hum :tired

suityou01
12th October 2015, 08:29
Cold morning.

Sunny.

Bored. Need some action. :frown

Expecting a message from the PM today about the status of contract. Desperate for some action as I'm bored to death at home. :suicide:

Trip to the Dry cleaners in some time. Found some stains on my Hugo Boss suit jacket :tantrum:

Ho-fecking-hum :tired

Hope it comes through for you bud. :hug:

Called the pimp about the gig I am still waiting for feedback on. He is mysteriously on a lengthy conference call. :smokin

TheLordDave
12th October 2015, 09:31
Interview Tuesday and also moving house. Fingers crossed...

MarillionFan
12th October 2015, 10:27
Just heard back from the manager who was very apologetic and embarrassed about what she did. Apparently she raised my PO against the wrong cost center. The owner of the CC tuliped on her this morning and that was how she knew it :facepalm:

She re-raised the PO on the new CC this morning and it is now in the queue for approvals :rolleyes:

This means I will probably not start work on Monday. And that means I will not be travelling on Sunday. And hence I can watch all rugby matches over the weekend :D


I think you're right. The agent says he has done a lot of business with this hiring manager and it is highly unusual not to get feedback in the agreed timeframe. Indeed he has tried to contact other members of the team apparently.

It's all rather odd, particularly unpleasant and highly unprofessional.

I unclog my nose in their general direction. :winker:

You're like the cretin version of Waiting for Godot.