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That's no lady that's my wife

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    That's no lady that's my wife

    Country Life reveals 39 rules for being the perfect modern lady | Daily Mail Online

    Mrs V fails on number 7, her gin & tonics are OK but her Lasagne needs work.

    39 RULES FOR HOW TO BE A MODERN LADY
    1. Finds laughter is the best medicine.

    2. Can say 'thank you' no matter where she is in the world.

    3. Cooks perfect, crispy roast potatoes.

    4. Offers to split the bill.

    5. Knows that everyone, including herself, improves with age.

    6. Offers the builder a cup of tea.

    7. Excels at making love, lasagne and long gin and tonics.

    8. Can silence a man with a stare and make a dog lie down with a hand signal - and vice versa.

    9. Can imitate Piglet and Pooh voices for a bedtime story.

    10. Prefers Mr Knightley to Mr Wickham, but is secretly in love with Rupert Campbell-Black.

    11. Never downs a drink in one, unless it's a shot of tequila.

    12. Is aware that the school run and dog walking do not require full make-up.

    13. Never wears shoes she can't walk in.

    14. Knows when a man is spoken for.

    15. Can paunch a rabbit, pluck a pheasant and gut a fish, but allows men the privilege.

    16. Remembers her godchildren's birthdays.

    17. Knows songs for a long car journey.

    18. Is neither early for a dinner party nor late for church.

    19. Doesn't over-pluck her eyebrows.

    20. Knows how to deflect a lecher with grace, and a proposal with kindness.

    21. Comforts nervous flyers.

    22. Would never have Botox.

    23. Knows when to let a man think it's his idea.

    24. Would never own a handbag dog.

    25. Can tie - and untie - a bow tie.

    26. Might not understand the rules of rugby and cricket, but enjoys the game anyway.

    27. Knows when to take control in the bedroom and the boardroom.

    28. Knows the difference between Bentley & Skinner and Baddiel and Skinner.

    29. Instills manners in her children, but lets their characters flourish.

    30. Knows when to deadhead a rose.

    31. Is never afraid to overdress.

    32. Can handle a sports car, a sit-on mower and a ski lift.

    33. Knows when to stop dyeing her hair.

    34. Teaches her son to iron his shirts and her daughter to change a fuse.

    35. Owns a little black dress.

    36. Always has a hanky.

    37. Knows that 'brevity is the soul of lingerie'.

    38. Has kissed several frogs and made them feel like princes.

    39. However lucky in life, she doesn't boast on Facebook.
    So who is over Plucked or has soggy tats?
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

    #2
    Originally posted by vetran View Post
    Mrs V fails on number 7, her gin & tonics are OK but her Lasagne needs work.
    Excel skills useful. Never know when a pivot table will come in handy.

    Comment


      #3
      I read this earlier, on Country Life's website.

      The Mail are utterly shameless, aren't they? They just lift stuff from another publication and put it on their own site, verbatim, without even the slightest pretence of adding anything to the subject. They don't even link back to the original source. Country Life might sue them for breach of copyright, but the Mail will just pay them a token sum in settlement and count the clicks they've got from stealing the copy. Utterly shameless. They no longer deserve to be called a newspaper, nor can what they do be called journalism. They're a disgrace.

      Comment

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