I wish to buy one to use wholly and exclusively for business. I want to chop up a permie who is f**king annoying and bury him in it.
Will this be allowed?
Will this be allowed?
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Nope but Suity isOriginally posted by BrilloPad View Post
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As it's wholly and exclusively to carry a business object around in then yes."You’re just a bad memory who doesn’t know when to go away" JRComment
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Surely once the permie is dead, this has to be considered a BIK?Comment
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Originally posted by BrilloPad View Post
It's allowed but not a good idea.
After chopping up your permie, borrow a friend's chocolate Labrador and feed the meat to the dog (you may need a Volvo for this) and the bones to pigs. Gloucester Old Spots would be my choice.
When the pigs go off to slaughter, feed their meat to the dog as well.
Now comes the clever bit... get a friend to take the dog for a walk past where the permie used to live, and make sure it craps on grass near the house (front lawn is best). That way if CSI ever try to piece the story together, the guy's DNA is in the area, but in dog crap, so they'll assume that a dog has found the body and eaten it.
If you time it right (i.e. a week before the pigs go to slaughter), the complete turn around can be as little as 22 days (as long as you've booked the abattoir and one of the pigs isn't underweight and the dog doesn't get the runs when it's eating the brain).
Although, I can't say I've ever given it too much thought.…Maybe we ain’t that young anymoreComment
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Getting a big dog, mind, should have no problem getting through a body.Originally posted by FatLazyContractor View PostMP has neither got a dog nor a car yet
Likely to produce a big, durable, dump for the DNA part of the operation too.
The Chunt of Chunts.Comment
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Sounds like MaryPoppins is going to be in the ideal position to help with both of those soon enoughOriginally posted by FatLazyContractor View PostMP has neither got a dog nor a car yetComment
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Originally posted by MrMarkyMark View PostGetting a big dog, mind, should have no problem getting through a body.
Likely to produce a big, durable, dump for the DNA part of the operation too.
You'd think so, but you'd probably not be right.
A mastiff will take a good 2-3 days to eat a 5ft 10in human male, and the dog may leave a few bits she doesn't like the taste of.
A chocolate Lab might manage a 6ft 2in, slightly overweight human male in about 4 hours. Just make sure his water bowl is full. And you may need to refill it a couple of times.
I'm just guessing here, mind.…Maybe we ain’t that young anymoreComment
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