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Wilmslow
11th January 2016, 14:15
New client is obsessed with the safety elves – When walking upstairs I was pulled over about the importance of holding onto the germ infested handrail.

Not allowed to park on site as a contractor, which is a real pain as the only option is the local Virgin station – at £9 a day, assuming I can get a space as the carpark fills up very early in the day.

Oh, and a nice 9am scrum I cannot be late for, with no other means of parking locally I may just need to take the train daily, as I am darned if I am paying £45 a week just to park on top of the hotel costs - would get me home every day at least.

Lifes challenges....

MrMarkyMark
11th January 2016, 14:19
New client is obsessed with the safety elves – When walking upstairs I was pulled over about the importance of holding onto the germ infested handrail.

Where were your hands, deep in your pockets, playing "pocket billiards"?

AJ1982
11th January 2016, 14:20
A fellow contractor where I work only just twisted his foot on the stairs an hour or two ago, so it is for your own safety. Oh and make sure you look both ways when crossing the street on the way to/from your current client.

Oh, and don't forget to chew properly and swallow. This information is probably on their Intranet if you need further clarification.

Alternatively, you could just tell them to F off.

jbond007
11th January 2016, 14:20
New client is obsessed with the safety elves – When walking upstairs I was pulled over about the importance of holding onto the germ infested handrail.


Ahh..I've had this happen couple of times at different clientco's. Being told off by security staff when walking up & down the stairs to hold the handrail !!

MrMarkyMark
11th January 2016, 14:22
FTFY


Being told off by security staff for struggling, when they are trying to forcibly exit me, for good, from the building !!

LondonManc
11th January 2016, 14:25
New client is obsessed with the safety elves – When walking upstairs I was pulled over about the importance of holding onto the germ infested handrail.

Not allowed to park on site as a contractor, which is a real pain as the only option is the local Virgin station – at £9 a day, assuming I can get a space as the carpark fills up very early in the day.

Oh, and a nice 9am scrum I cannot be late for, with no other means of parking locally I may just need to take the train daily, as I am darned if I am paying £45 a week just to park on top of the hotel costs - would get me home every day at least.

Lifes challenges....

mumsnet.com HTHBIDI

TheFaQQer
11th January 2016, 14:27
Look on the bright side - it's not like your client found your posting history and fired you.

northernladuk
11th January 2016, 14:29
Look on the bright side - it's not like your client found your posting history and fired you.

But am sure we'll be opening betting on when it will happen fairly soon.

jbond007
11th January 2016, 14:30
FTFY


Ahh..I've had this happen couple of times at different clientco's. Being told off by security staff when walking up & down the stairs to hold the handrail !!

lol :happy

OwlHoot
11th January 2016, 14:31
New client is obsessed with the safety elves – When walking upstairs I was pulled over about the importance of holding onto the germ infested handrail. ...

If they but knew your neighbours are mafia hoodlums, they'd realise that risking tumbling down the stairs is the least of your problems :laugh

PurpleGorilla
11th January 2016, 14:50
I once told one of the directors to not send a text whilst climbing the stairs. The look of "how dare you" mixed with "the little shite is right and I can't say anything" was a picture.

Happened during my permie notice period so didn't really GAF.

MrMarkyMark
11th January 2016, 14:54
I once told one of the directors to not send a text whilst climbing the stairs. The look of "how dare you" mixed with "the little tulipe is right and I can't say anything" was a picture.

Happened during my permie notice period so didn't really GAF.

Thus ruling out any future, possibly, lucrative business. :suicide:

You are never going to get your big house at this rate and you will be, on here, moaning about it forever.
Trust the entitled generation not to see the wood for the trees :eyes

diseasex
11th January 2016, 14:55
New client is obsessed with the safety elves – When walking upstairs I was pulled over about the importance of holding onto the germ infested handrail.

Not allowed to park on site as a contractor, which is a real pain as the only option is the local Virgin station – at £9 a day, assuming I can get a space as the carpark fills up very early in the day.

Oh, and a nice 9am scrum I cannot be late for, with no other means of parking locally I may just need to take the train daily, as I am darned if I am paying £45 a week just to park on top of the hotel costs - would get me home every day at least.

Lifes challenges....

1st world problems. you probably don't know if to buy Jag or Q7 out of your 2 month rate ?
poor you

d000hg
11th January 2016, 14:55
I've never seen anyone told off for using stairs incorrectly since I left school ("don't RUN!") is this for real?

PurpleGorilla
11th January 2016, 14:55
Thus ruling out any future, possibly, lucrative business. :suicide:

You are never going to get your big house at this rate and you will be, on here, moaning about it forever.
Trust the entitled generation not to see the wood for the trees :eyes

Nope, did a little work for them last year - they love me.

MrMarkyMark
11th January 2016, 14:57
Nope, did a little work for them last year - they love me.

Hopefully, you charge an additional premium for that :smokin

OwlHoot
11th January 2016, 14:58
Trust the entitled generation not to see the wood for the trees :eyes

Nor indeed the top of the stairs, while they're engrossed texting .. :eek

PurpleGorilla
11th January 2016, 14:58
Hopefully, you charge an additional premium for that :smokin

My best rate yet. kerching kerching.

MrMarkyMark
11th January 2016, 14:59
My best rate yet. kerching kerching.

So, gonna change your name to the Love Monkey, then :smokin

PurpleGorilla
11th January 2016, 14:59
Nor indeed the top of the stairs, while they're engrossed texting .. :eek

actually in my situation it was an entitled (me) telling a director (boomer) not to send texts on the stairs.

PurpleGorilla
11th January 2016, 15:01
So, gonna change your name to the Love Monkey, then :smokin

that's what the Mrs calls me.

SimonMac
11th January 2016, 15:11
Fake a medical condition and they will never bother you again, say you can't hold onto the rail as you have arthritis.

One place I managed to convince I had dyslexia because I forgot to spell check a change request

Cliphead
11th January 2016, 15:12
Elf 'n safety at the new permie gig delivered in one sentence on first day. If you hear the fire alarm follow everybody else. That was it and this is a bank.

VectraMan
11th January 2016, 15:22
Health and Safety seems very lax at my current WFH gig. I did at least test the smoke alarms by making a bacon sandwich the other day.

vetran
11th January 2016, 15:36
that's what the Mrs calls MF.


FTFY

LondonManc
11th January 2016, 15:37
that's what the Mrs calls me.

Do you get worried or excited (or both) when Mrs PG spanks her monkey?

MrMarkyMark
11th January 2016, 15:38
FTFY


Do you get worried or excited (or both) when Mrs PG spanks MF

TheFaQQer
11th January 2016, 16:34
I've never seen anyone told off for using stairs incorrectly since I left school ("don't RUN!") is this for real?

Possibly.

When I worked in Runcorn, we had strict policies on things like this - can't carry a hot drink without a lid, have to use the handrail, have to reverse into a parking space because it's safer.

Nothing about the plant leaking chemicals into the Mersey, or clouds of chlorine escaping, that was OK.

psychocandy
11th January 2016, 16:41
One client told me if main car park is full, dont park on the road (no yellow lines) use the overflow. Which was 20 mins walk away.

Sod that. First reason I got was "we're responsible for you're safety so we dont want you to park on the road and get run over". What a load of bollacks.

Then they tried "we don't like employees of ours parking on the road - the owner of the industrial estate dont like it". Umm get them to put yellow lines then.

And also, tell your employees what you want but not me.

So I parked on the road every time....

PurpleGorilla
11th January 2016, 16:44
One client told me if main car park is full, dont park on the road (no yellow lines) use the overflow. Which was 20 mins walk away.

Sod that. First reason I got was "we're responsible for you're safety so we dont want you to park on the road and get run over". What a load of bollacks.

Then they tried "we don't like employees of ours parking on the road - the owner of the industrial estate dont like it". Umm get them to put yellow lines then.

And also, tell your employees what you want but not me.

So I parked on the road every time....

Always park in the contractor car park (a.k.a The Visitor's car park).

Nice and close to the entrance, and wide spaces so you don't get your door dinged.

MrMarkyMark
11th January 2016, 16:45
So I parked on the road every time....

That's just what we need.

More rebels :suicide:

tomtomagain
11th January 2016, 17:13
Possibly.

When I worked in Runcorn, we had strict policies on things like this - can't carry a hot drink without a lid, have to use the handrail, have to reverse into a parking space because it's safer.

Nothing about the plant leaking chemicals into the Mersey, or clouds of chlorine escaping, that was OK.

Sounds suspiciously like bp ....

You have to remember that the permies have to fill in 3 "Safety Observations" each a month as part of their annual performance targets.

This is an almost impossible task because most of the work is office based and in reality there aint that much unsafe practice occurring, hence the obsession with holding hand-rails and carrying hot drinks.

NibblyPig
11th January 2016, 18:46
Mate works at a company that for health & safety decided no hot liquids at your workstations, cos someone spilled a bit of soup on their hand (which had to go into the medical book).

Everyone went nuts, so they said okay tea and coffee is allowed but no soup.

So a mug of soup = reprimand
Mug of coffee = ok

Boggles the mind.

barrydidit
11th January 2016, 20:14
Mate works at a company that for health & safety decided no hot liquids at your workstations, cos someone spilled a bit of soup on their hand (which had to go into the medical book).

Everyone went nuts, so they said okay tea and coffee is allowed but no soup.

So a mug of soup = reprimand
Mug of coffee = ok

Boggles the mind.

What about bovril? Beef tea has a foot in both camps..

greenlake
11th January 2016, 20:41
What about bovril? Beef tea has a foot in both camps..

And how about a big pot of chili....?

http://i.imgur.com/CxUWnJ5.gif

original PM
11th January 2016, 20:47
Possibly.

When I worked in Runcorn, we had strict policies on things like this - can't carry a hot drink without a lid, have to use the handrail, have to reverse into a parking space because it's safer.

Nothing about the plant leaking chemicals into the Mersey, or clouds of chlorine escaping, that was OK.

Would that be ici or that's what it used to be?

WTFH
11th January 2016, 22:02
Construction industry have similar rules. I've been caught out by them before. And if you don't use the handrail, they tell you that you have to use the lifts.
Their reasoning is that good safety practice must be carried out at all their sites, not just quarries, but the same rules in the office buildings/car parks.

Scruff
11th January 2016, 22:25
New client is obsessed with the safety elves – When walking upstairs I was pulled over about the importance of holding onto the germ infested handrail.

Not allowed to park on site as a contractor, which is a real pain as the only option is the local Virgin station – at £9 a day, assuming I can get a space as the carpark fills up very early in the day.

Oh, and a nice 9am scrum I cannot be late for, with no other means of parking locally I may just need to take the train daily, as I am darned if I am paying £45 a week just to park on top of the hotel costs - would get me home every day at least.

Lifes challenges....

SSE by any chance?

AtW
11th January 2016, 23:09
SSE by any chance?

SIS

It's Wilmslow we talking about...

NigelJK
12th January 2016, 09:39
Except in the centre of town (which has limited on street parking) there's plenty of on street parking 5 mins walk from the centre. If you fancy taking on the PPC running the Waitrose car park it's free there also (free for 2 hours anyway).

MrMarkyMark
12th January 2016, 09:50
Except in the centre of town (which has limited on street parking) there's plenty of on street parking 5 mins walk from the centre. If you fancy taking on the PPC running the Waitrose car park it's free there also (free for 2 hours anyway).

Might help, if you mention where the hell you are on about, location wise :rolleyes:

AJ1982
12th January 2016, 09:52
Construction industry have similar rules. I've been caught out by them before. And if you don't use the handrail, they tell you that you have to use the lifts.

Do you need to use the handrail in the lifts? What if the lifts dont have handrails? I like something to hold on while im being taken for a ride :P

NigelJK
12th January 2016, 09:57
@MM: The post above mentions Wilmslow.

LondonManc
12th January 2016, 10:02
@MM: The post above mentions Wilmslow.

Don't worry, he probably didn't realise that we had Waitrose up north :)

MrMarkyMark
12th January 2016, 10:03
@MM: The post above mentions Wilmslow.

Ah I see....
The OP is Wilmslow, I don't believe he is working there :)

original PM
12th January 2016, 12:10
Construction industry have similar rules. I've been caught out by them before. And if you don't use the handrail, they tell you that you have to use the lifts.
Their reasoning is that good safety practice must be carried out at all their sites, not just quarries, but the same rules in the office buildings/car parks.

Ah yes - the classic line that it is company policy on all sites.

Are we working in a quarry?

No we are working in an office.

Well then obviously different safety rules apply you dense melon farmer

It is a lazy H&S policy which ultimately costs the company money - I have done so many projects over the years to address these issues were some Muppet has implemented every policy and procedure in the book without any form of intellectual input and pretty much ground the company to a halt.

Identifying a risk is not the same as managing the risk.

WTFH
12th January 2016, 12:34
It's done because lawyers are good at getting money for accidents. Implement a solution that makes it difficult for them and you're better off. "Elfin gone mad" as the DM would say. But if it stops companies from being sued because of greedy/lazy people, then it's a minor inconvenience.

d000hg
12th January 2016, 13:40
Mate works at a company that for health & safety decided no hot liquids at your workstations, cos someone spilled a bit of soup on their hand (which had to go into the medical book).

Everyone went nuts, so they said okay tea and coffee is allowed but no soup.

So a mug of soup = reprimand
Mug of coffee = ok

Boggles the mind.
Eating at your desk is just gross though.

SimonMac
12th January 2016, 15:40
If you can't follow a simple rule like "use a handrail" whether you agree with it or not, how are you expected to follow more complex rules which are important?

FatLazyContractor
12th January 2016, 15:41
If you can't follow a simple rule like "use a handrail" whether you agree with it or not, how are you expected to follow more complex rules which are important?

Why? Is he going for BDSM sessions? :rolleyes: