Relationship milestones

[BrilloPad]

Have you had any of these :-

Scoffing messy food, arguing in public … the real relationship landmarks | Daisy Buchanan | Opinion | The Guardian

Personally I am divorced long before any of those are reached....

[SimonMac]

I thought your relationship milestones was stamps on your lawyers loyalty card, 6th divorce is free

[MrMarkyMark]

Personally I am divorced long before any of those are reached....

I thought "Divorce" would be the final "money shot" of that article

[DimPrawn]

Relationship milestones

I thought they were:

1. Oral sex
2. Straight sex
3. Kinky sex
4. Threesome
5. Orgy

[The Janner Miss Tanner]

I read that as millstones

[I just need to test it]

Have you had any of these :-

Scoffing messy food, arguing in public … the real relationship landmarks | Daisy Buchanan | Opinion | The Guardian

Personally I am divorced long before any of those are reached....

Ooh. Arguing in public with one's ex-wife somehow seems worse.

[scooterscot]

fart combustion duration competition

[MicrosoftBob]

When you accidently reverse smurf your girlfriend stepping over her on the stairs in a hurry to get to the loo because the lower floors are occupied

[LondonManc]

Three months: letting them see you without your contact lenses
Don't wear contact lenses. Would have thought seeing her with clear vision would have been a bigger test.

Four months: eating something messy in their presence
Does eating a badly-packed kebab count? She seemed to enjoy that

Five months: getting them to go to Boots for you
We were saving money at the time so I got her a bag of cotton wool and told her that if I have to roll my own then so does she.

Six months: sharing phone passcodes
Yes, but never my browsing history. Bit easier for the IT-savvy to manage this one.

Eight months: going on holiday together and using the loo in the hotel room
Scat fetishists wouldn't stand a chance of reaching eight months

One year: slagging off their parents in front of them
In front of the enemy or the parents themselves?

14 months: buying insurance together
Always worrying when the enemy smiles while sorting out life insurance

18 months: having a fight at a wedding
Hmm, we tend not to fight in public, more growl at each other and have a good row later. All about the friends again cuddles.