You must make everything Agile!!!

[Mincepie]

This contract i am on my jack in London and the rest of IT is in the states. I have been left to my own devices pretty much. In this time i have changed the sprint planning and delivery and release process of the 3rd party and everything is working much better. better predictability and velocity etc etc yawn....

The IT yanks have a new big boss noisy African and he has been beating the Agile drum. Yesterday i was told for every line of code written i must complete a design document. They sent me a template and it is 23 pages long haha

We are making lots of small content related changes to a CMS/suite of websites. Needless to say i will be ignoring this template for as long as possible.

In a meeting yesterday when they guy who signs my time sheets was banging on for 1.5 hours about more reporting in a waterfall manner how everyone must be agile this and agile that

He asked me what T shirt sizing was halfway through the call

Happy days, keep smiling keep invoicing

Happy Tuesday people

[FatLazyContractor]

He asked me what T shirt sizing was halfway through the call

Tell him you are the MarillionFan of the contracting world. He will get the message.

HTH,
AtW.

[DimPrawn]

I'm getting to this point now.

[Mincepie]

They started name dropping some Agile gurus name on the call who consulted for them ages ago like i was supposed to be impressed Kelly something or other. Then said yeah we need 5 specs for everything its Agile dont you know.

I was looking out the window pretending i was James Bond at this stage

[Gumbo Robot]

Agent : "Ive got a great role for you, they're a great bunch of guys, I think you're going to love it and they're really into their Agile down there"

Me: <shudder/>

[LondonManc]

Agile's better when you pay it lip service.

Have your daily scrum then just deliver stuff. Shove your pair-programming up yer arris, go and hi-five with HR, not me and no, not everything fits an Agile approach you brain-washed plum.

Must say, though, the OP talking about an African banging his drum sounds a bit Frankie Boyle.

[DimPrawn]

^This

[original PM]

Agile's better when you pay it lip service.

Have your daily scrum then just deliver stuff. Shove your pair-programming up yer arris, go and hi-five with HR, not me and no, not everything fits an Agile approach you brain-washed plum.

Must say, though, the OP talking about an African banging his drum sounds a bit Frankie Boyle.

Yup it's just doing what you are paid to do in a different environment but if the people are muppets it will still fail.

[DallasDad]

Never done Agile, at 56 years young am I too old................
And would I have to start wearing T shirts then?

I have a Waterfall in my Garden it usually has some Ducks, Geese and the odd Sheep crapping in it regularly does that help improve delivery?

[ClothCap]

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/agile-dead-matthew-kern