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scooterscot
29th June 2016, 08:35
Honestly the grief, I'm surprised those twits have any members!


NT: Hello, you're through to the National Trust.

Caller: Hello. Yes, I’d like to withdraw my membership please.

NT: I’m sorry to hear that, may I ask why?

Caller: We’re fed up with it. The houses are too full. There’s queues at the cafes and not enough tables. Plus we’ve noticed there are plenty of stately homes and attractions not part of the National Trust. And we have to pay a that ridiculous fee that we could use for anything we like…

NT: OK, so shall I cancel your direct debit?

Caller: Just wait a minute. I have promised my family that even if we leave, we can still have full access to all of your country houses, historic landscapes and nature reserves.

NT: Yes, you can do that. You just have to pay an entry fee each time you visit one of our attractions.

Caller: But won’t that be hugely more expensive?

NT: Yes.

Caller: And won’t that mean I’ll have to queue up with all the non-members and pay each time?

NT: Yes. And for the car parks.

Caller: So, we can’t use them any more?

NT: You can. But you’ll have to pay. Sorry.

Caller: Will you still send me the magazine?

NT: Well, no. Why would we–?

Caller: How dare you be so unhelpful. Can’t we agree on a different arrangement?

NT: Such as?

Caller: One where we still have full access to all of your attractions and car parks. And the magazine.

NT: Yes. You can do that by being a member of the National Trust.

Caller: Oh, you people. Honestly.

SlipTheJab
29th June 2016, 08:40
Honestly the grief, I'm surprised those twits have any members!


NT: Hello, you're through to the National Trust.

Caller: Hello. Yes, I’d like to withdraw my membership please.

NT: I’m sorry to hear that, may I ask why?

Caller: We’re fed up with it. The houses are too full. There’s queues at the cafes and not enough tables. Plus we’ve noticed there are plenty of stately homes and attractions not part of the National Trust. And we have to pay a that ridiculous fee that we could use for anything we like…

NT: OK, so shall I cancel your direct debit?

Caller: Just wait a minute. I have promised my family that even if we leave, we can still have full access to all of your country houses, historic landscapes and nature reserves.

NT: Yes, you can do that. You just have to pay an entry fee each time you visit one of our attractions.

Caller: But won’t that be hugely more expensive?

NT: Yes.

Caller: And won’t that mean I’ll have to queue up with all the non-members and pay each time?

NT: Yes. And for the car parks.

Caller: So, we can’t use them any more?

NT: You can. But you’ll have to pay. Sorry.

Caller: Will you still send me the magazine?

NT: Well, no. Why would we–?

Caller: How dare you be so unhelpful. Can’t we agree on a different arrangement?

NT: Such as?

Caller: One where we still have full access to all of your attractions and car parks. And the magazine.

NT: Yes. You can do that by being a member of the National Trust.

Caller: Oh, you people. Honestly.

Yawn... Haven't you got any work to do FFS!

scooterscot
29th June 2016, 08:41
Yawn... Haven't you got any work to do FFS!

It's a tough one. Work or torment Brexitiers...

GB9
29th June 2016, 08:47
National Trust: Hello, this is Angela from the National Trust. Would you like to sign up to our 'buy a million fluffy toys a year scheme'?

Subscriber: Sorry Angela. The RSPB offered us a better deal so we're buying an extra million of their fluffy toys instead. I'm sure your fluffy toy workers will understand.

original PM
29th June 2016, 08:47
It's a tough one. Work or torment Brexitiers...

By torment do you mean spout rhetoric and try and be funny with obscure comparisons?

cos if so then you seem to be succeeding at that

Churchill
29th June 2016, 08:48
It's a tough one. Work or torment Brexitiers...

Such a pity that you're a failure at both.

barrydidit
29th June 2016, 08:48
You missed the bit where the National Trust come round to your house to tell you how to decorate it, why your kettle is too powerful and what you're having for tea. But other than that, good effort, keep em coming :tongue

MarillionFan
29th June 2016, 08:54
Honestly the grief, I'm surprised those twits have any members!


NT: Hello, you're through to the National Trust.

Caller: Hello. Yes, I’d like to withdraw my membership please.

NT: I’m sorry to hear that, may I ask why?

Caller: We’re fed up with it. The houses are too full. There’s queues at the cafes and not enough tables. Plus we’ve noticed there are plenty of stately homes and attractions not part of the National Trust. And we have to pay a that ridiculous fee that we could use for anything we like…

NT: OK, so shall I cancel your direct debit?

Caller: Just wait a minute. I have promised my family that even if we leave, we can still have full access to all of your country houses, historic landscapes and nature reserves.

NT: Yes, you can do that. You just have to pay an entry fee each time you visit one of our attractions.

Caller: But won’t that be hugely more expensive?

NT: Yes.

Caller: And won’t that mean I’ll have to queue up with all the non-members and pay each time?

NT: Yes. And for the car parks.

Caller: So, we can’t use them any more?

NT: You can. But you’ll have to pay. Sorry.

Caller: Will you still send me the magazine?

NT: Well, no. Why would we–?

Caller: How dare you be so unhelpful. Can’t we agree on a different arrangement?

NT: Such as?

Caller: One where we still have full access to all of your attractions and car parks. And the magazine.

NT: Yes. You can do that by being a member of the National Trust.

Caller: Oh, you people. Honestly.

Is that yours? Or did you copy it?

Thinking I may put it on mumsnet under the AIBU?

scooterscot
29th June 2016, 08:55
By torment do you mean spout rhetoric and try and be funny with obscure comparisons?

cos if so then you seem to be succeeding at that

I take that as a compliment. :o

scooterscot
29th June 2016, 08:56
Is that yours? Or did you copy it?

Thinking I may put it on mumsnet under the AIBU?

It's a copy job! I've got work to do you know!!

ctdctd
29th June 2016, 09:03
It's a copy job! I've got work to do you know!!

Seeing the number of posts on here that you have time to do, I'm sure you are a shining example of the continental work ethic. :tongue

No wonder Europe is going down the pan.:smokin

scooterscot
29th June 2016, 09:03
Seeing the number of posts on here that you have time to do, I'm sure you are a shining example of the continental work ethic. :tongue

No wonder Europe is going down the pan.:smokin

I'm an efficient worker. Efficient in the British sense of the word.

NigelJK
29th June 2016, 12:04
But a plagiarist never the less.