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Britain to get absolutely everything it wants from Brexit negotiations

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    Britain to get absolutely everything it wants from Brexit negotiations

    The Mash continues to cut through the blurb.


    Britain to get absolutely everything it wants from Brexit negotiations

    THE UK can get free access to the single market without any concessions on freedom of movement, according to a man with no idea what ‘negotiating’ means.

    Warehouse operative Nathan Muir believes that if British representatives tell the EU that they mean business and refuse to back down they will get every single thing they want without surrendering anything.

    He continued: “It’s all about attitude. If we walk in saying ‘I’ll trade this for this,’ or ‘We may agree some compromises’ they’ll make mincemeat out of us.

    “But go in there British and proud, tell them ‘Full access to the single market, no immigration, and we keep all our subsidies or I’m out that door’ and they’ll cave like the continental cowards they are.

    “Though obviously we do need to meet in the middle on freedom of movement. They can’t come here but I still go wherever I want. That seems fair.”

    Friend Stephen Malley said: “I remember when Nathan went to negotiate himself a pay rise. They cut his hours and moved him to nights.”
    "Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience". Mark Twain

    #2
    Anything less would be a total failure...

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by scooterscot View Post
      The Mash continues to appeal to the slackjawed
      ftfy

      “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

      Comment


        #4
        The May delusion: Britain’s new prime minister will regret appointing Boris Johnson | The Economist

        It is true, the MP for Haltemprice and Howden was a Europe minister in the 1990s. But he was not exactly well-suited to the job: progress in Brussels, as even Margaret Thatcher showed, is achieved by nimble deal-making, the art of persuasion and sensitivity to the political constraints on other leaders. Mr Davis demonstrated none of these. Stephen Wall, Britain’s permanent representative to the EU at the time, recalls: “Every week, before each negotiating session, I would receive pages of minute instructions from the Foreign Office, personally authorised by David Davis. The Foreign Office could have saved themselves a lot of trouble by sending a one-line instruction: ‘Just say no.’ There was virtually nothing on the agenda that was palatable to the government.”

        In all likelihood Mr Davis will be just as unconstructive this time: his strategy for Brexit, published just two days ago, is wildly optimistic and suggests that he is totally unprepared for the rigours of the negotiation ahead. I would not be remotely surprised if this particular thread of our story ended with him flouncing out, talks at a deadlock, and blaming Mrs May for failing sufficiently to underwrite his fantasies.
        Last edited by BlasterBates; 16 July 2016, 15:45.
        I'm alright Jack

        Comment


          #5
          It's going to be a cluster fook of epic proportions. Was just reading Rubicon, about the last days of the Roman Empire and the parallels are striking.
          David Davies is an ideologue not a pragmatist.
          But maybe thats why May appointed him

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by CretinWatcher View Post
            David Davies is an ideologue not a pragmatist.
            But maybe thats why May appointed him
            Of course it is, she just can't wait for it all to go belly-up.

            You really do take stupidity to depths previously unimagined.

            “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by shaunbhoy View Post
              Of course it is, she just can't wait for it all to go belly-up.

              You really do take stupidity to depths previously unimagined.

              Time will tell, eh?
              Fact of the matter is that the numbers don't add up for the UK economy.
              Last edited by CretinWatcher; 16 July 2016, 18:51.

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by shaunbhoy View Post
                Of course it is, she just can't wait for it all to go belly-up.

                You really do take stupidity to depths previously unimagined.

                It will go belly up and she can replace most of them with people who can actually do the job properly.
                "You’re just a bad memory who doesn’t know when to go away" JR

                Comment


                  #9
                  May be true. The Daily Mash makes as much sense as any other newspaper.
                  bloggoth

                  If everything isn't black and white, I say, 'Why the hell not?'
                  John Wayne (My guru, not to be confused with my beloved prophet Jeremy Clarkson)

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by SueEllen View Post
                    It will go belly up and she can replace most of them with people who can actually do the job properly.
                    Whilst being absolved of any blame for bringing them on board in the first place? You really do inhabit a strange closet on planet Gaga don't you?
                    You sound almost as hysterically delusional as sascretin.

                    “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

                    Comment

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