Viz Tips

[sasguru]

Sally Anne:

Don't have breast-reduction surgery. Simply scoff so many pies that your tits look in proportion to your soon-to-be massive body.

Chico:

Don't try and struggle with logical concepts. Simply conduct a pre-frontal lobotomy to massively improve your intellectual capacity.

Atw:

Don't try and buy a house. Simply put all the money you get on rent-in-advance for your bedsit.

HTH

[DimPrawn]

Threaded

Stop driving your Lambo to the King of Denmarks house for tea to discuss matters of national security. Simply up the medication.

[BoredBloke]

My top tip is to save your big toe nail clippings so that you can use them to hook out bits of food which get trapped between your teeth when you have no toothpicks available. Probably best not to hand them round at a dinner party though.

[Bagpuss]

Tired of bending down to pick up letters at the front door, simply place a coffee table behind said door and never have to bend down again.

[Penrod]

BASEBALL cap manufacturers. Save the wearer the bother of turning your caps round by putting the peak on the other side.

[sasguru]

Milan:

Bored with changing tapes? Simply try alternating which hand you use.

Francko:

Bullied and bored at work? Simply have a good cry in the toilets.

[Lucy]

assguru:

tired of masturbating ?

lay on your hand until it goes to sleep then it will feel like someone else is doing it.

[sasguru]

assguru:

tired of masturbating ?

lay on your hand until it goes to sleep then it will feel like someone else is doing it.

[Logie]

assguru:

tired of masturbating ?

lay on your hand until it goes to sleep then it will feel like someone else is doing it.

what if he uses both hands?

[Penrod]

MOBILE phone users. On trains always choose a seat in the last carriage. Then, when a train enters a tunnel, run as fast as you can towards the front of the train. This will ensure that you are in the tunnel for the shortest possible time and are less likely to miss that all-important call.