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MrMarkyMark
6th September 2017, 09:36
Still sitting here without a contract. :confused:

Apart from the fact I haven't been looking, applying, reaching out to my contacts, or had my CV on any job sites, do you think there could be any other reason?

My CV is in Word 3.1 for work groups edition format, maybe that's wrong?

My CV is too long, in fact I have tried to rectify that by splitting it into two ten page chapters.

I'm too experienced for all the roles.

It could also be the new facial tattoo and piercing I have had done, but surely that would be totally racist these days, right?

Any help welcome :eyes

SueEllen
6th September 2017, 09:37
You are a lazy fecker!

barrydidit
6th September 2017, 09:46
Still sitting here without a contract. :confused:

Apart from the fact I haven't been looking, applying, reaching out to my contacts, or had my CV on any job sites, do you think there could be any other reason?

My CV is in Word 3.1 for work groups edition format, maybe that's wrong?

My CV is too long, in fact I have tried to rectify that by splitting it into two ten page chapters.

I'm too experienced for all the roles.

It could also be the new facial tattoo and piercing I have had done, but surely that would be totally racist these days, right?

Any help welcome :eyes

You lying bastard - I've subbed out the Sunday morning swabbing out of NLyUK's dungeon gig to you. If you can't spin that out to sound like you're indispensable to multi-national organisations then I strongly recommend you turn permie. Or feuk off to New Zealand.

Paddy
6th September 2017, 09:46
Still sitting here without a contract. :confused:

Apart from the fact I haven't been looking, applying, reaching out to my contacts, or had my CV on any job sites, do you think there could be any other reason?

My CV is in Word 3.1 for work groups edition format, maybe that's wrong?

My CV is too long, in fact I have tried to rectify that by splitting it into two ten page chapters.

I'm too experienced for all the roles.

It could also be the new facial tattoo and piercing I have had done, but surely that would be totally racist these days, right?

Any help welcome :eyes

When reading CVs I always look at the extended properties in Word to see if they are using ripped-off versions from former client co.

scooterscot
6th September 2017, 10:21
I interviewed someone recently. Realised they voted Brexit. Showed them the door...

Bee
6th September 2017, 10:27
Still sitting here without a contract. :confused:

Apart from the fact I haven't been looking, applying, reaching out to my contacts, or had my CV on any job sites, do you think there could be any other reason?

My CV is in Word 3.1 for work groups edition format, maybe that's wrong?

My CV is too long, in fact I have tried to rectify that by splitting it into two ten page chapters.

I'm too experienced for all the roles.

It could also be the new facial tattoo and piercing I have had done, but surely that would be totally racist these days, right?

Any help welcome :eyes

On behalf of NLUK:

"You need to know how to be a contractor."

:D

MrMarkyMark
6th September 2017, 10:31
I interviewed someone recently. Realised they voted Brexit. Showed them the door...

Well done.

How on earth does that relate to my situation :confused:

OwlHoot
6th September 2017, 10:31
My CV is too long, in fact I have tried to rectify that by splitting it into two ten page chapters.

Any help welcome :eyes

Write it out again, but this time avoid the crossings out and ink blots!

BlasterBates
6th September 2017, 10:45
The face tattoo generally is quite good, but perhaps the f*** you on your forehead should be redone as a swan.

scooterscot
6th September 2017, 10:56
Well done.

How on earth does that relate to my situation :confused:

Everything is because of Brexit. Didn't you know?

MrMarkyMark
6th September 2017, 10:57
Everything is because of Brexit. Didn't you know?

Sorry, my bad.

Of course :laugh

scooterscot
6th September 2017, 11:09
Anyway there'll soon be jobs for the great unwashed to pick fruits and vegetables. No more easy street.

barrydidit
6th September 2017, 11:27
Anyway there'll soon be jobs for the great unwashed to pick fruits and vegetables. No more easy street.

I'm not sure the fruits (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=FRUIT) will like that.

mattfx
6th September 2017, 11:42
I can imagine the face tattoo must give you an excellent talking point - you clearly just need to get an interview. It must be your CV that's wrong!

BR14
6th September 2017, 12:57
your trouser cuffs are dirty and your shoes are laced up wrong

NotAllThere
6th September 2017, 13:03
I think it's because you smell like rancid yak butter.

MarillionFan
6th September 2017, 13:24
Still sitting here without a contract. :confused:

Apart from the fact I haven't been looking, applying, reaching out to my contacts, or had my CV on any job sites, do you think there could be any other reason?

My CV is in Word 3.1 for work groups edition format, maybe that's wrong?

My CV is too long, in fact I have tried to rectify that by splitting it into two ten page chapters.

I'm too experienced for all the roles.

It could also be the new facial tattoo and piercing I have had done, but surely that would be totally racist these days, right?

Any help welcome :eyes


Aren't you in New Zealand?

woohoo
6th September 2017, 13:36
I interviewed someone recently. Realised they voted Brexit. Showed them the door...

Stop interviewing your mum, she doesn't like it, you are not the employer just a naughty, naughty boy.

Bee
6th September 2017, 13:38
Aren't you in New Zealand?

And he is on the bench, that's why he doesn't have a contract. :wink

PhiltheGreek
6th September 2017, 14:19
Still sitting here without a contract. :confused:

Apart from the fact I haven't been looking, applying, reaching out to my contacts, or had my CV on any job sites, do you think there could be any other reason?

My CV is in Word 3.1 for work groups edition format, maybe that's wrong?

My CV is too long, in fact I have tried to rectify that by splitting it into two ten page chapters.

I'm too experienced for all the roles.

It could also be the new facial tattoo and piercing I have had done, but surely that would be totally racist these days, right?

Any help welcome :eyes

A Prince Albert? You should be aware, there's nothing creates a negative first impression quicker than having your cock on show.

MrMarkyMark
6th September 2017, 14:53
Aren't you in New Zealand?

Nope, no yet, spent most of last month in the West country.

The Mrs. has just been offered a very nice contract.

I've been informed I can either sit back and plan our trip or go back out there and work some more :eyes

Platypus
6th September 2017, 15:03
It could also be the new facial tattoo and piercing I have had done, but surely that would be totally racist these days, right?

Take the photo off your CV?

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-59O1VlAFeHM/T4ykU1qQvzI/AAAAAAAAC9A/odjjr6ISbXU/s1600/01.jpg

MarillionFan
6th September 2017, 16:10
And he is on the bench, that's why he doesn't have a contract. :wink

He's full of shit isn't he.

MrMarkyMark
6th September 2017, 16:52
He's full of tulip isn't he.

:laugh

zeitghost
6th September 2017, 17:23
He's full of tulip isn't he.

All Bran and prunes.

That's the answer.

Bee
6th September 2017, 19:31
He's full of tulip isn't he.

Agreed. :laugh

He is on the bench and came up with all this tulip.:laugh

LondonManc
6th September 2017, 22:39
Rewrite your cv in WordPerfect or Lotus AmiPro.

HTHBIDI

MrMarkyMark
7th September 2017, 07:15
Agreed. :laugh

He is on the bench and came up with all this tulip.:laugh

:rollin:

eek
7th September 2017, 07:27
I blame the fact you weren't greedy enough. At £900 a day you clearly weren't essential to the project and other options were available. You should have gone for £1900 a day minimum....

Bee
7th September 2017, 07:27
:rollin:

Oh, come on confess, nothing to be ashamed of.

MrMarkyMark
7th September 2017, 08:18
Oh, come on confess, nothing to be ashamed of.

What, being on the bench?

Certainly not the first time in 17 years or so.

As stated in my first post, I haven't been doing anything about it, no shame there whatsoever :eyes

MrMarkyMark
7th September 2017, 08:25
I blame the fact you weren't greedy enough. At £900 a day you clearly weren't essential to the project and other options were available. You should have gone for £1900 a day minimum....

Possibly so.

Although that particular one isn't totally dead in the water yet :wink

Still, I now have a viable alternative as a man of leisure, seeing as the Mrs is sorted with a new contract :D

WTFH
7th September 2017, 08:34
What sort of roles are you applying for, and are the rates comparable worldwide?

Servicing sheep may get you high rates in the Home Counties, but it's a saturated market in Unzed.

MrMarkyMark
7th September 2017, 09:12
What sort of roles are you applying for, and are the rates comparable worldwide?

Servicing sheep may get you high rates in the Home Counties, but it's a saturated market in Unzed.

Seems you know your market well :D

WTFH
7th September 2017, 09:28
Seems you know your market well :D

When stating a rate, it's important to know what you're up against.

MarillionFan
7th September 2017, 09:31
What, being on the bench?

Certainly not the first time in 17 years or so.

As stated in my first post, I haven't been doing anything about it, no shame there whatsoever :eyes


That's it career over. You're fecked. Time to call it a day & potter around the garden, posting crap about your travels which you'll never take.

WTFH
7th September 2017, 09:32
That's it career over. You're fecked. Time to call it a day & potter around the garden, posting crap about your travels which you'll never take.

Something you can advise on.

MrMarkyMark
7th September 2017, 09:46
That's it career over. You're fecked. Time to call it a day & potter around the garden, posting crap about your travels which you'll never take.

Indeed, a broken man :D.

Oh......my sides :laugh

SueEllen
7th September 2017, 10:45
Indeed, a broken man :D.

Oh......my sides :laugh

Why aren't you finding us interesting news stories to read like poo girl?

You are on the bench after all.

As I said you are a lazy fecker!

Mordac
7th September 2017, 11:22
Rewrite your cv in WordPerfect or Lotus AmiPro.

HTHBIDI

Anyone else remember the days when Wordperfect was the Daddy? AmiPro was so crap they couldn't give it away...

:oldgit:

BR14
7th September 2017, 11:26
Anyone else remember the days when Wordperfect was the Daddy? AmiPro was so crap they couldn't give it away...

:oldgit:

yes, - i do, - anything lotus is crap IMO, why i always disliked gigs for big blue.

MrMarkyMark
7th September 2017, 11:46
Why aren't you finding us interesting news stories to read like poo girl?

You are on the bench after all.

As I said you are a lazy fecker!

:tongue

Thing is I have mainly been out doing things that are usually too busy to enjoy.

Brighton was bliss last Monday, would always avoid at the weekend.

But....you are right I really should be making far more effort :eyes

WTFH
7th September 2017, 11:49
yes, - i do, - anything lotus is crap IMO,

I disagree, the Esprit was pretty good in its day.

LondonManc
7th September 2017, 12:45
yes, - i do, - anything lotus is crap IMO, why i always disliked gigs for big blue.

Lotus 123 died once they binned off BASIC macros for LotusScript. BB have pretty much managed to kill Cognos off too.

OwlHoot
7th September 2017, 12:51
Lotus 123 died once they binned off BASIC macros for LotusScript. BB have pretty much managed to kill
Cognos off too.

However bad Lotus was (and ISTR when I used it years ago it was dire), it was bliss compared to Microsoft Docpoint.

No commercial program used in the last 50 years has been so utterly atrocious as Docpoint! :mad

Mordac
7th September 2017, 15:37
yes, - i do, - anything lotus is crap IMO, why i always disliked gigs for big blue.

My first contract was creating a d/b in Lotus123 (DOS version). My first renewal was to convert it into Access. To start with they didn't have a spare desk so I worked on a laptop in the smoking room, which had Sky telly and a coffee machine. And loads of fit lasses, and I was 23 and... oh, crap, I just dribbled...

SueEllen
7th September 2017, 15:38
My first contract was creating a d/b in Lotus123 (DOS version). My first renewal was to convert it into Access. To start with they didn't have a spare desk so I worked on a laptop in the smoking room, which had Sky telly and a coffee machine. And loads of fit lasses, and I was 23 and... oh, crap, I just dribbled...

:oldgit:

greenlake
7th September 2017, 15:55
My first contract was creating a d/b in Lotus123 (DOS version). My first renewal was to convert it into Access. To start with they didn't have a spare desk so I worked on a laptop in the smoking room, which had Sky telly and a coffee machine.

Something like this, I presume....?

http://i.imgur.com/Rlc3NFj.jpg

Mordac
7th September 2017, 16:03
Something like this, I presume....?



Not quite, but I did find out later it cost £4k, and only had a b/w screen (which didn't matter as I was working in DOS). Happy days...

OwlHoot
7th September 2017, 16:27
Something like this, I presume....?

http://i.imgur.com/Rlc3NFj.jpg

God, I remember something like one of those, an Osborne I think it was, in one of my first IT jobs back in around 1980.

Cost around £20,000 as I recall, even back then! :eek

zeitghost
7th September 2017, 16:49
God, I remember something like one of those, an Osborne I think it was, in one of my first IT jobs back in around 1980.

Cost around £20,000 as I recall, even back then! :eek

And full of the wonders of CP/M. :smokin

FCBs anyone?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Osborne_1

$1795 1980 USD.

Which is about $4k6 today.