Wisdom

[Lucifer Box]

It is a brave person who ignores the advice of their mum. To this end, I dedicate this (I suspect rather short lived) thread to the wit and wisdom of mothers the world over. To start the ball rolling, I offer this gem from my own dear mum...

If 'ifs' and 'ands' were pots and pans, there'd be no need for tinkers.


* Although nowadays that would probably result in a £100 on the spot fine and a mandatory course at the local diversity appreciation secure unit if uttered in the wrong place.

[Forumbore]

It is a brave person who ignores the advice of their mum. To this end, I dedicate this (I suspect rather short lived) thread to the wit and wisdom of mothers the world over. To start the ball rolling, I offer this gem from my own dear mum...

If 'ifs' and 'ands' were pots and pans, there'd be no need for tinkers.


* Although nowadays that would probably result in a £100 on the spot fine and a mandatory course at the local diversity appreciation secure unit if uttered in the wrong place.

]


"If you keep doing that you will go blind"

[wobbegong]

"You treat this place like a hotel"

[Lucifer Box]

Douglas Adams

"It's at times like this I wish I'd listened to what my mother told me."

"Why, what did she say?"

"I don't know; I didn't listen."

[Zippy]

'Where the hell have you been?'

'Are you drunk?'

'Where did I go wrong?'

(usually in that order)

[Gibbon]

"you can't put a old head on young shoulders"

Having been through 2 divorces I'm living proof.

[wobbegong]

"Cooee, I've just bought you a nice cup of . . . Oh my God! What the hell are you doing, and who are they? Oh, I think I'm going to be sick! Get out! Get out, all of you! GET OUT . . . NOW!!"

I'll get me coat.

[Addanc]

Grannies Ode to a fart

Let the wind blow free
Where ever you may be
In church or chapple
Let it rattle!

[snaw]

If the wind changes, you're face will stick like that.

Wise words.

Oh and something along the lines of wear yer best underwear in case you get hit by a bus and you've got to go to hospital.

[Churchill]

Don't sit on that cold step, you'll get piles!

Your father is going to go through the roof when he hears this one!