Are any of you responsible for this?

**DaveB** · 14 December 2006, 14:12

From the comments below the article.

Posted by: Norman Farnsbarns McArthey on 11:56pm Wed 29 Nov 06
I say train the blighters to do an honest days work and to earn their right to live in Her Royal Majesties Royal borough. Maybe they could be trained to assist the police as they could spot crime while on high and report back to the station swiftly. The more aggressive ones could become a sort of elite police flighting unit that could intervene in violent incidents that are sadly becoming all to common in our wonderful town.

Posted by: Mrs D. Smithers on 12:05am Thu 30 Nov 06
I was once saved from certain death when a pair of woods grasped me by the shoulders and flew me from the path of an oncoming car. Now these feathered heroes follow me everywhere and they often speak to me too. I will be going out tomorrow tooled up to protect this noble race of animals and if I find the marksman then it will be me or him. I say NO to the slaughter of the innocents and am willing to lay down my life in their defence. As for them being the spawn of Satan, well, that is obviously a comment from a very deluded person, get help is all I can say to that, everyone knows they are God's messengers.
Posted by: Roland Runtfarmer on 12:29am Thu 30 Nov 06
What a lot of fuss over nothing. Everyone knows pigeons can't be killed, they are immortal and immune to bullets. Where I come from we worship the pigeon deity and never look them in the eye as this can turn a man to stone. I can only warn the gunman chappy that if he should lift a finger against but one bird he will incur their never ending wrath and more than likely burn in **** for his actions.

I would not risk it myself, it's just not worth it. Leave it !!! Many have tried and even the mightiest have failed! The only way that may have some effect is to tie them down and chant incantations while you flay their hides with an stout oaken branch blessed by a high priest of Nayhead. Mr McNally, the orchestrater of this ill thought out plan I say unto you beware the consequences of your actions against the blessed ones.

Posted by: Fancy Coo-Coo on 12:57pm Thu 30 Nov 06
I'm horrified at the very idea anyone might want to harm these gentle creatures. I myself was raised by pigeons after being abandoned in Trafalgar Square as a young nipper. Therefore I know how noble and generous a species they really are. If anyone were to kill a pigeon in this way, it would be as though they are slaughtering one of my own family. It's murder, I say!
Posted by: Free Willy on 3:24pm Thu 30 Nov 06
I know what you mean, reader. I was raised by yaks but I'm sure the experience was similar. How about a council worker cull instead.

Posted by: Michael Hunt on 4:17pm Thu 30 Nov 06.
Pigeons can be very intelligent creatures. This is because they are actually bred from dolphins and can travel vast lengths underwater as well as through the air. I warn you now Council folk, if you so much as dare remove or cull any pigeon from Kingston or the surrounding local I shall withhold my council tax! I'm prepared to go to prison to save these beautiful specimens of birds so just forget it ok?

**sasguru** · 14 December 2006, 14:12

Good riddance to the sky rats.

The messages after the article are hilarious.

**wendigo100** · 14 December 2006, 14:15

This is genius!

**wendigo100** · 14 December 2006, 14:17

Posted by: Percy Killen on 8:59pm Thu 30 Nov 06
"I defecated on a pigeon once."

Posted by: Nicholas Cartwheels on 1:57pm Dec 1
Gas them like badgers!

Posted by Mr Mirkin on 2:26pm Dec 1
I hate them. Especially their toes!

**Zippy** · 14 December 2006, 14:18

Originally posted by wendigo100

This is genius!

A work of art - which is why I was thinking it may be someone on here with - ahem - multiple personalities.

**Churchill** · 14 December 2006, 14:22

This is the stuff of internet legends!

**Pondlife** · 14 December 2006, 14:47

My Favs;

Posted by: Mrs Dallinger on 5:18pm Thu 30 Nov 06
Dear Margaret. As you can see I've finally mastered this email thing! Sue and John came to visit today, which was nice, and it was Sue who taught me how to use the email. I shall be writing to you often now that I have figured it out. Please send my love to Helen and the boys. See you soon Love Mum xxx

Posted by: Mrs Dallinger on 6:27pm Thu 30 Nov 06
Dear Mr Umbuku Please excuse any email fau pas I may make as this is only the second email I have ever written. Isn't it exciting? I was so sorry to hear about your plight with the Nigerian authorities and the subsequent demise of your mother, it must be a very difficult time for you my dear. My husband was saying only yesterday that the pond needed a new liner and the amount of money you are offering is quite staggering. Those Nigerian authorities have no right to withhold all that money, especially as it belongs to your family. Mr Dallinger has asked that I reply to you and confirm that the amount you wish to place into our bank account is indeed $645,00000? It does seem rather a lot. I look forward to your reply. Your sincerely Mrs D Dallinger

**Sysman** · 14 December 2006, 15:57

Originally posted by zeitghost

Sounds like Xogg to me... though no mention of slugs...

I agree on that one - IIRC he lives in Surrey, too...

**threaded** · 14 December 2006, 16:34

Originally posted by Sysman

I agree on that one - IIRC he lives in Surrey, too...

Agreed even has some of his favourite speeling mistooks.

Are any of you responsible for this?