PDA

View Full Version : The 10 most annoying buzzwords at work



MonkeysUncle
13th November 2018, 08:05
The 10 most annoying buzzwords:

Give 110%: To go above and beyond
Blue sky thinking: Brainstorming without worrying about limits
Low hanging fruit: The easiest work
Synergise: Work together
Outside the box: Coming up with fresh ideas
Square the circle: Complete a task that seems impossible
Ecosystem: Used to describe a working culture
Atomise: To break something down into smaller pieces
Bleeding edge: A new technology or technique that has some risk
A lot of moving parts: A lot of things to manage

Low hanging Fruit....hear that all day at work...
The one that always pisses me off....."Lets take this offline". Surprised its not on the top 10

These are the workplace buzzwords that are annoying your coworkers | Metro News (https://metro.co.uk/2018/11/13/these-are-the-workplace-buzzwords-that-are-annoying-your-coworkers-8133418/?ito=cbshare)

original PM
13th November 2018, 08:11
The 10 most annoying buzzwords:

Give 110%: We want you to work for free
Blue sky thinking: But don't bother cos the boss will make the decision anyway
Low hanging fruit: The MD wants it yesterday - we are going to say it's easy even when we have no idea.
Synergise: Manager has just been on training course
Outside the box: An idea which does not involve making the boss more money (will never get past discussion stage)
Square the circle: Someone read a book
Ecosystem: Someone in HR read a book
Atomise: Break things down into smaller pieces of documentation
Bleeding edge: The MD's mate has a new start up - this stuff is useless but...
A lot of moving parts: No idea about planning so lets do everything at once


FTFY

Old Greg
13th November 2018, 08:21
Reach out to = contact

:ladybags:

WTFH
13th November 2018, 08:37
Reach out to = contact

:ladybags:

Reach out and communicate with = contact

GreenMirror
13th November 2018, 08:42
Interesting thread. Lets run some replies up the flagpole.

Old Greg
13th November 2018, 09:02
Interesting thread. Lets run some replies up the flagpole.

Are they commercial lets?

northernladuk
13th November 2018, 09:28
Threads about buzzwords

Jog On
13th November 2018, 09:54
Not wanting to boil the ocean or anything but hasn't this been done before?

northernladuk
13th November 2018, 10:33
Not wanting to boil the ocean or anything but hasn't this been done before?Only a few million times.

CoolCat
13th November 2018, 10:43
Digital transformation

darmstadt
13th November 2018, 10:44
Only a few million times.

And that is a right-sized 4th generation forecast

OwlHoot
13th November 2018, 11:27
Interesting thread. Lets run some replies up the flagpole.

and see who salutes.

psychocandy
13th November 2018, 12:07
That cock who got kicked off Apprentice last week was on about
"how his life was leading to this moment" load of bollacks or what.

I must admit I get peed off when people in work go on about exciting things happening and how excited they are to be doing this. I must be a miserable git but I dont get excited at anything in work. Same when people say how they are "enjoying the challenge" etc.

Jeez. I come to work for the money and tolerate it if there aren't too many bellends saying stuff like this!

original PM
13th November 2018, 12:13
But but you have to kiss the bosses arse....


:rolleyes:

GreenMirror
13th November 2018, 12:21
Only a few million times.

For the millionth time stop exaggerating.

:eyes

GreenMirror
13th November 2018, 12:22
But but you have to kiss the bosses arse....


:rolleyes:

Only if you work for Philip Green?

Though I believe those who work for admin have to as well.

Cirrus
13th November 2018, 15:44
Everything these days has to be incredible.

"This is going to have an incredible impact on insurance."
"In fact, most markets are incredibly local." (CityAM today)
"I'm incredibly pleased with the way this projects is proceeding."

If you tell me something is incredible, why do you expect me to believe it? :facepalm:

shaunbhoy
13th November 2018, 16:00
If you tell me something is incredible, why do you expect me to believe it? :facepalm:

I think you are incredibly bright?

:wink:tongue

mudskipper
13th November 2018, 18:57
Reach out to = contact

:ladybags:

https://pics.me.me/is-it-acceptable-for-me-to-use-the-term-reach-28190061.png

greenlake
13th November 2018, 19:02
http://assets.amuniversal.com/90405b209f0b012f2fe600163e41dd5b

vetran
13th November 2018, 19:30
http://assets.amuniversal.com/90405b209f0b012f2fe600163e41dd5b


Played & WON!

Whorty
13th November 2018, 19:35
I see this thread as the art of the possible.

Used to hear all this waffle when I worked in Big 4 .... we knew how to spout pointless phrases :music:

shaunbhoy
13th November 2018, 20:35
we knew how to spout pointless phrases :music:

And you haven't lost your touch!!
:laugh:laugh:laugh

Cirrus
13th November 2018, 21:15
I think you are incredibly bright? I think you are incredibly brexit :hug:

BR14
13th November 2018, 21:22
I think you are incredibly brexit :hug:

and yet more fecking thread pollution, FFS GIAR :smokin

fiisch
13th November 2018, 23:22
“Impediment bulldozer” is my all time favourite.

Offline and reach out are ridiculous- immediately lose all respect for any cretin that utters this bollocks.

tomtomagain
13th November 2018, 23:57
My favourite most-hated phrase was:

"Best Practice"


As in:

"We follow Best Practice"

Generally deployed by idiots who don't want to think about the problem or situation they are confronted with and don't have the whit to engage in any blue-sky thinking.

Or used to shut down debate with anyone who dares to think outside the box ( I didn't realise there was a box ).

I could go on about this until the cows come home.

ShandyDrinker
14th November 2018, 07:42
One of my all time pet hates was having to "jump on a call"... I used to get this image of a bunch of globally dispersed office workers jumping on top of the phone! Surely just making a phone call or having a conference call would suffice?!

original PM
14th November 2018, 07:49
I see this thread as the art of the possible.

Used to hear all this waffle when I worked in Big 4 .... we knew how to spout pointless phrases :music:

Ah yes the art of the possible.

And after that has been discussed big boss will say ok then so it will cost nothing and be done in a day.

:winker:

WTFH
14th November 2018, 08:17
My favourite most-hated phrase was:

"Best Practice"


As in:

"We follow Best Practice"

Generally deployed by idiots who don't want to think about the problem or situation they are confronted with and don't have the whit to engage in any blue-sky thinking.

Or used to shut down debate with anyone who dares to think outside the box ( I didn't realise there was a box ).

I could go on about this until the cows come home.

That’s the basis of SAP’s design

pscont
14th November 2018, 10:11
Feck off = I dont agree with you.
Feck right off = I dont agree with you and will do it my way, so stop bothering me.

gables
14th November 2018, 13:00
Interesting thread. Lets run some replies up the flagpole.

I'd rather we kicked the can down the road

Mordac
14th November 2018, 16:59
The 10 most annoying buzzwords:

Give 110%: To go above and beyond
Blue sky thinking: Brainstorming without worrying about limits
Low hanging fruit: The easiest work
Synergise: Work together
Outside the box: Coming up with fresh ideas
Square the circle: Complete a task that seems impossible
Ecosystem: Used to describe a working culture
Atomise: To break something down into smaller pieces
Bleeding edge: A new technology or technique that has some risk
A lot of moving parts: A lot of things to manage

Low hanging Fruit....hear that all day at work...
The one that always pisses me off....."Lets take this offline". Surprised its not on the top 10

These are the workplace buzzwords that are annoying your coworkers | Metro News (https://metro.co.uk/2018/11/13/these-are-the-workplace-buzzwords-that-are-annoying-your-coworkers-8133418/?ito=cbshare)

"Oh look, someone's gone to all that trouble setting up a nice network for us to steal - sorry, borrow."
Don't worry, MF set it up, but I'll fix it on time-and-a-half before you can say "Christ, I didn't realise it would be this bad"...

Whorty
14th November 2018, 17:22
And you haven't lost your touch!!
:laugh:laugh:laugh

:D

OwlHoot
14th November 2018, 17:37
Have we done "going forward"?

"At this moment in time" is irritating and pompous, although perhaps not what one would think of as faux-trendy management speak.

Oh and idiots who start sentences with "So .." for no apparent reason. It's happening more and more these days! :devil

psychocandy
19th November 2018, 15:31
After a particularly crap meeting I told client I was off to "crack one off".

They didnt know that one.

ladymuck
19th November 2018, 16:11
Well, we are where we are

Platypus
19th November 2018, 17:02
Have we done "going forward"?

"At this moment in time" is irritating and pompous, although perhaps not what one would think of as faux-trendy management speak.

Oh and idiots who start sentences with "So .." for no apparent reason. It's happening more and more these days! :devil

So, I've noticed this too.

Can you ping me when you're free?

Zigenare
19th November 2018, 17:19
ITFOT <-- my favourite.

vetran
19th November 2018, 21:28
Well, we are where we are

It is what it is (translation - I am a feckwit!)

I normally say 'it is what it shouldn't be and its our job to fix it!'

BR14
19th November 2018, 22:31
It is what it is (translation - I am a feckwit!)

I normally say 'it is what it shouldn't be and its our job to fix it!'

so what are You doing to fix it? :smokin

WTFH
20th November 2018, 09:02
so what are You doing to fix it? :smokin

I can fix broken, but I can't fix stupid.

ladymuck
20th November 2018, 09:08
so what are You doing to fix it? :smokin

Jim?

Drei
21st February 2019, 15:20
Digital transformation

lol this one is for @northernladuk


I will re-post this since it is very relevant:
Funny story, I went to an interview not so long ago at a huge Property Managing Company. After 1 hour of hearing all bout "innovation" and "innovative processes" and "innovative ways of working", I came out knowing NOTHING about the project I was supposed to manage. Every question related to the solution, the technology to be used,the teams, was met by yet more buzzwords and BS. I gave up eventually and just seemed really interested, however I couldn't wait to get out.

northernladuk
21st February 2019, 16:41
lol this one is for @northernladuk


I will re-post this since it is very relevant:
Funny story, I went to an interview not so long ago at a huge Property Managing Company. After 1 hour of hearing all bout "innovation" and "innovative processes" and "innovative ways of working", I came out knowing NOTHING about the project I was supposed to manage. Every question related to the solution, the technology to be used,the teams, was met by yet more buzzwords and BS. I gave up eventually and just seemed really interested, however I couldn't wait to get out.Cool story Grandad.

fidot
22nd February 2019, 10:37
on-boarding is an horrible phrase

Mordac
22nd February 2019, 21:37
on-boarding is an horrible phrase

Water-boarding is a bit worse...

BR14
22nd February 2019, 21:44
Water-boarding is a bit worse...

sailboarding can be challenging, too

DoctorStrangelove
23rd February 2019, 12:32
Not to mention overboarding.

That rarely ends well.

OwlHoot
24th February 2019, 08:30
"Passionate about .."

Always a bad sign :eyes

Old Greg
24th February 2019, 10:25
"Passionate about .."

Always a bad sign :eyes

It means young, lacking expertise and cheap.

siphr
24th February 2019, 11:32
Well to be honest the whole work culture has gone to a shit-stool. Games of pretense and keeping up appearances. Contracting, I believe, is the most honest way of now doing my job, although HMRC is doing its best to play the puppet master. If only I can get the elusive second contract soon :p.

vetran
24th February 2019, 12:13
I can fix broken, but I can't fix stupid.


thats obvious from your posts :wink

Mordac
24th February 2019, 16:11
thats obvious frome your posts :wink

I don't tink you meant to do that...:wink

vetran
24th February 2019, 16:37
on-boarding is an horrible phrase


at least they are trying, normally you turn up and spend 3 days waiting for a log in.

I got a welcome pack and a card before I started and turned up and all my IDs worked. Felt fantastic.

vetran
24th February 2019, 16:38
I don't tink you meant to do that...:wink


mild dyslexia isn't stupid!

Mordac
24th February 2019, 17:02
mild dyslexia isn't stupid!

If you can spell "dyslexia", you clearly aren't affected by it. :nerd

Lance
24th February 2019, 17:39
Well to be honest the whole work culture has gone to a tulip-stool. Games of pretense and keeping up appearances. Contracting, I believe, is the most honest way of now doing my job, although HMRC is doing its best to play the puppet master. If only I can get the elusive second contract soon :p.

do you mean 'prior to the temporal frame being discussed' or is it just bad :spel ?

vetran
24th February 2019, 18:00
If you can copy and paste "dyslexia", you clearly are affected by it. :nerd


Do I Have Dyslexia? – International Dyslexia Association (https://dyslexiaida.org/dyslexia-test/)



when I was a kid I ticked 1-9 out of 10.

down considerably on that now, but like Frank Harris I exercised.

Old Greg
25th February 2019, 08:40
I don't tink you meant to do that...:wink

Isn't Frome near Bridgwater?

AJ1982
25th February 2019, 09:48
AGILE :@ :@ :@

psychocandy
25th February 2019, 12:07
"Off to drop some friends off at the pool"

woohoo
25th February 2019, 12:12
Inappropriate behaviour. If i hear that one more time from HR.

DimPrawn
25th February 2019, 20:04
Inappropriate behaviour. If i hear that one more time from HR.

I get that every time I slap one of them on the arse by the photocopier.

:o

BR14
25th February 2019, 20:09
I get that every time I slap one of them on the arse by the photocopier.

:o

I get that every time someone slaps me on the arse by the photocopier.
and they wake up in intensive care :smokin

Mordac
25th February 2019, 22:36
Isn't Frome near Bridgwater?

I tink it's nearer Bath.

Wilmslow
27th February 2019, 11:09
Are all your ducks lined up?

jbond007
27th February 2019, 11:29
dot the i's and cross the t's

Yorkie62
27th February 2019, 11:36
yeah but you're just a overpaid tax dodging contractor

filthy1980
27th February 2019, 11:47
"we are where we are"

Yorkie62
27th February 2019, 13:08
" if you're selling those puppies I'll have them both"

Sorry wrong thread - I thought this was the inappropriate behaviour at work thread.

Lance
27th February 2019, 14:39
" if you're selling those puppies I'll have them both"

Sorry wrong thread - I thought this was the inappropriate behaviour at work thread.

if you're gouing to quote Sid the Sexist at least get it right and give him credit.

"if you're selling those puppies I'll have the one with the pink nose"

Royston1664
27th February 2019, 14:57
Bandwidth - Not in the technical sense of the word, but instead when you give someone some work and they claim not to have "sufficient bandwidth" to carry out the task - ie they can't be arsed with the extra work.

Lost It
1st March 2019, 05:16
I was treated to "Go the extra mile" a few days ago. I told them I wouldn't be able to see what I was doing from a mile away.

I think I misunderstood.

Lockhouse
1st March 2019, 10:06
Yesterday, I had a meeting to discuss "database upgradation". No comment.

Yorkie62
1st March 2019, 10:23
Yesterday, I had a meeting to discuss "database upgradation". No comment.

You can't make a statement like that without telling us what the outcome was. Is the database to be upgradated?

Lockhouse
1st March 2019, 12:09
You can't make a statement like that without telling us what the outcome was. Is the database to be upgradated?

The needful doings are this weekend.