Post Christmas Cracker Joke!

**Lambros** · 27 December 2006, 19:26

Another....

Q. What is a Shih Tzu.

A. A zoo with crap animals.

**DaveB** · 27 December 2006, 23:16

Q. Whats brown and sticky.

A. A stick.

**Ardesco** · 28 December 2006, 08:55

Q: What's green and goes red at the touch of a button?

A: A Frog in a blender

**sasguru** · 28 December 2006, 09:14

"Make me one with everything" as the mystic said in McDonalds.

**PerlOfWisdom** · 28 December 2006, 09:25

Q: What's got two legs and bleeds a lot?

A: Half a dog.

**Ardesco** · 28 December 2006, 09:25

A man walks into a bar...

OUCH!!

**Ardesco** · 28 December 2006, 09:34

A young man goes into a pub one day, and as he walks through the door he see hundreds of roads standing around drinking. There are A roads, B roads, country lanes, in fact all sorts of roads drinking away. The man walks up to the bar and gets a drink and is just looking for a seat when the door opens and a dual-carrigeway walks in.

All the roads shuffle out of his way letting him get to the bar to order his drink. Five minutes later the door swings open again and in walks a motorway, king of the highways. The country lanes and B roads scatter to allow him to pass with his huge bulk and he swaggers up to the bar and orders himself a drink. Five minutes later the door opens again and a tiny weedy little road wanders in.

The whole pub suddenly goes deathly quiet and the roads scatter out of the way. The dual-carrigeway dives under a table and the motorway runs to the wall trying to squeeze himself against it. The young man looks at the little road again as he wobbles up to the bar slowly looking quite out of breath. The young man looks over to the motorway shivering and sweating and says "Whats is the matter with you. You are a motorway, king of the roads!! You are the biggest and most powerful road in here, why are you running away from that litle runt. The motorway replies "oooo you want to watch him mate, he's a cycle path!!!"

(and for those who don't get it, cycle path - cycopath)

**sasguru** · 28 December 2006, 09:58

Originally posted by Ardesco

A young man goes into a pub one day, and as he walks through the door he see hundreds of roads standing around drinking. There are A roads, B roads, country lanes, in fact all sorts of roads drinking away. The man walks up to the bar and gets a drink and is just looking for a seat when the door opens and a dual-carrigeway walks in.

All the roads shuffle out of his way letting him get to the bar to order his drink. Five minutes later the door swings open again and in walks a motorway, king of the highways. The country lanes and B roads scatter to allow him to pass with his huge bulk and he swaggers up to the bar and orders himself a drink. Five minutes later the door opens again and a tiny weedy little road wanders in.

The whole pub suddenly goes deathly quiet and the roads scatter out of the way. The dual-carrigeway dives under a table and the motorway runs to the wall trying to squeeze himself against it. The young man looks at the little road again as he wobbles up to the bar slowly looking quite out of breath. The young man looks over to the motorway shivering and sweating and says "Whats is the matter with you. You are a motorway, king of the roads!! You are the biggest and most powerful road in here, why are you running away from that litle runt. The motorway replies "oooo you want to watch him mate, he's a cycle path!!!"

(and for those who don't get it, cycle path - cycopath)

YSGYC=You SHOULD get your coat

**PerlOfWisdom** · 28 December 2006, 10:03

I always wondered how you spell psychopath.

Post Christmas Cracker Joke!