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Lucifer Box
25th January 2007, 14:57
It's that oh so short window in the year when the Seville oranges are in season so I'm going to be cooking up some marmalade. I normally make enough to last me the whole year but I have a huge marmalade pan so there's plenty of room. It's all organic and made with black treacle and Kentucky bourbon. Nice thick chunks of peel and a lovely tangy taste totally unlike the sickly sweet mass-produced stuff.

Anyone want some? £1 per 100g (net) plus postage at cost.

SallyAnne
25th January 2007, 14:59
I'm very tempted, but even though I love you very much, you're still one of those "internet people" and I couldn't trust you not to put a "special" ingredient in it :eek:

So no thank you :D

Lucifer Box
25th January 2007, 15:00
I am an axe murderer on my days off.

hyperD
25th January 2007, 15:01
I'll have some!

And blatantly riding on this, why not try some of Mr hyperD's homemade Mrs Miggins mango chutney for all your curries? Made with the finest mangos, chillis and organic muscavado sugar rolled on a Colombian virgin's arse and better than the festering brown shoe-scrape found in most local tandoori restaurants.

Lucifer Box
25th January 2007, 15:03
I'll have some!

And blatantly riding on this, why not try some of Mr hyperD's homemade Mrs Miggins mango chutney for all your curries? Made with the finest mangos, chillis and organic muscavado sugar rolled on a Colombian virgin's arse and better than the festering brown shoe-scrape found in most local tandoori restaurants.
That sounds delicious. I'll swap you a jar of your finest chutney for a jar of marmalade.

I'm telling you, this is a new sales paradigm: m-commerce.

Lucifer Box
25th January 2007, 15:04
You too, LB?

It's getting to be a bit of a club on here... :D
Well, it helps to pass those long, dark, winter evenings.

Bagpuss
25th January 2007, 15:06
LB, are you a fat bstard? because all you talk about is (very rich) food.

Lucifer Box
25th January 2007, 15:09
LB, are you a fat bstard? because all you talk about is (very rich) food.
Oh yes. I'm a right lard-arse, me.

hyperD
25th January 2007, 15:10
That sounds delicious. I'll swap you a jar of your finest chutney for a jar of marmalade.

I'm telling you, this is a new sales paradigm: m-commerce.

Indeed and yes, let's swap products in a barter-esque style kibbush way.

I've had a complaint from the ASA. Apparantly, it's not "Colombian" but "very quickly losing her patience Hungarian".

Lucifer Box
25th January 2007, 15:12
Indeed and yes, let's swap products in a barter-esque style kibbush way.

I've had a complaint from the ASA. Apparantly, it's not "Colombian" but "very quickly losing her patience Hungarian".
Do I get a Hungarian arse thrown in?

hyperD
25th January 2007, 15:13
Do I get a Hungarian arse thrown in?
Of course, plenty of it to go around...!

The Lone Gunman
25th January 2007, 15:15
Of course, plenty of it to go around...!DUCK you fool!

Lucifer Box
25th January 2007, 15:16
Of course, plenty of it to go around...!
Perfect, that's exactly how I like my arses.

hyperD
25th January 2007, 15:23
DUCK you fool!
Many thanks TLG, but I'm safe as she's plotting in Hungers as we speak (write), hence the lobster thermador banquets, bottles of white Châteauneuf-du-Pape and unlimited games of UT2004...

...oh, happy days...

sasguru
25th January 2007, 15:27
I'll have some!

And blatantly riding on this, why not try some of Mr hyperD's homemade Mrs Miggins mango chutney for all your curries? Made with the finest mangos, chillis and organic muscavado sugar rolled on a Colombian virgin's arse and better than the festering brown shoe-scrape found in most local tandoori restaurants.

How much for just the Colombian virgin's arse ?

andy
25th January 2007, 15:28
How much for just the Colombian virgin's arse ?
depends if you want marmelade with that :D

sasguru
25th January 2007, 15:37
depends if you want marmelade with that :D

I think salad cream would be more appropriate, don't you?

Lucifer Box
25th January 2007, 15:49
I would like nice tangy orange Marmalade with lots of chunky peel in it but there's one problem - I don't do breakfast apart from black coffee. Difficult to find another suitable time to eat it unless you enjoy Marmalade sponge pudding (and I don't)

Honey or Marmite is more my thing anyway, and that's impossible to make Marmite at home but at least it's suitable for eating at anytime.
It makes a wonderful glaze, for ham for example, and is especially fine when used as such with turbot. It can of course be used as an excellent base for a hassle free orange sauce. It is also lovely spread on the slices of bread in a bread 'n' butter pudding with a difference. You could even put a little (less the peel) in a hollandaise sauce.

SallyAnne
25th January 2007, 15:52
I think salad cream would be more appropriate, don't you?


Thats not right :eek:

Troll
25th January 2007, 15:54
It's that oh so short window in the year when the Seville oranges are in season so I'm going to be cooking up some marmalade. I normally make enough to last me the whole year but I have a huge marmalade pan so there's plenty of room. It's all organic and made with black treacle and Kentucky bourbon. Nice thick chunks of peel and a lovely tangy taste totally unlike the sickly sweet mass-produced stuff.

Anyone want some? £1 per 100g (net) plus postage at cost.
Where does the black treacle come into it for marmalade??

Lucifer Box
25th January 2007, 16:00
Where does the black treacle come into it for marmalade??
It gives it that lovely dark orange colour that the best marmalades have and counterpoints the bitterness of the oranges without being too sweet.

Lucifer Box
25th January 2007, 16:01
You've sold me.

I've got an idea. In the light of all the the IR threats coming our way let's all pack in contracting, form a commune and make marmalade and chutney all day to sell to large corporations. At least IR35 won't apply then.
Okay, Denny, many thanks. There's a jar with your name on it. Small, medium or large?

I would if I thought I could shift enough of it.

realityhack
25th January 2007, 16:43
<pedant mode on>
Cyanide is the whiff of Bitter Almonds...
HTH.
<pedant mode off>
You seem to know an awful lot about this Zeity...

DimPrawn
25th January 2007, 19:05
Indeed and yes, let's swap products in a barter-esque style kibbush way.

Ahem. http://www.taxationweb.co.uk/businesstax/article.php?id=266

:bluelight :bluelight :bluelight :bluelight :bluelight


!

Lucifer Box
25th January 2007, 20:54
Names:

'Lucifer's Treacly Orange' (suggests common flavour but real reason for name - the pending threat the IR turning up the heat (flame orange) on contractors puting us in a sticky situation like swimming through treacle, which is why we now we've packed it in to make marmalade).

Lucifer's Lemon - (for flavour but also to describe the likely value of IT contracts in the future - like buying a 'lemon' (something useless) - hence we've all left to make marmalade).

Lucifer's Grapefruit - (for flavour to also to drive home how bitter and sour we all are because of Gordo's constant persecution).

Lucifer's Thick Cut - (a mixed fruit flavour but really to describe Gordo's greedy tax grabbing approach, hence our reason for packing in IT and making marmalade now).

Lucifer's Revenge' - Especially for Gordo. Lurid Green Lime Marmalade (green to represent the envy of those who want to stop us getting on and be rewarded for our efforts against the added risks involved) flavoured with a distinct whiff of Almond (Arsenic).
:rollin: :yay:

Denny, would you like to be my marketing manager? I only got as far as Lucifer's Luscious Preserves - They're the Work of the Devil.

Lucifer Box
25th January 2007, 20:55
Ahem. http://www.taxationweb.co.uk/businesstax/article.php?id=266

:bluelight :bluelight :bluelight :bluelight :bluelight


!
I'm shocked you even considered that I would not be declaring this on my tax return.

hyperD
25th January 2007, 21:20
Ahem. http://www.taxationweb.co.uk/businesstax/article.php?id=266

:bluelight :bluelight :bluelight :bluelight :bluelight


!

I'm shocked you even considered that I would not be declaring this on my tax return.
I'm shocked DP knew I would certainly not declare this on my tax form!!

Tax barstards!