Last night, me and the guys, (admittedly after several beers) have come up with a solution to the Iranian Hostage Crisis.
Clearly Blair hasn’t a clue what to do and who’s going to take seriously a Foreign Secretary who looks like a moose and is a member of the Caravan Club?
No, my friends, we need decisive action. Decisive yet non lethal. Can it be done? Is such an approach possible? Of course it is. Contractors of the UK unite.
Anyone here old enough to remember the Falklands War will recall the magnificent flight of two Vulcan bombers from the UK to Port Stanley and back just to give the Argies a headache.
One of these aircraft is currently undergoing renovation through charitable donation, called the Vulan Trust. We contractors should pressure Gordo to make a contribution, in lieu of the extra tax he’s going to make out of us, to get the project done.
Then we can launch Operation Pigs Will Fly. The plan is quite simple. We use the Vulcan on a covert night mission to carpet bomb Iran with pork scratchings, ham and cheese toaties, gammon stakes, bacon sandwiches and pork pies. This will give the rag-heads a taste of things to come (excuse the pun!).
The result will be chaos! Public utilities will be paralysed by the sheer size of the clean up operation (if they dear touch a piece of dead pig). Women will be confined to their houses until some comes along to clean of a few pork-pie crumbs off their Burkha.
The rag heads will capitulate immediately!
Well, after about 7 pints of Griswold’s Bowel Blaster foaming ale (or whatever is we were drinking), it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Anyone here with ingenious and cunning plan to help out Tony?
Clearly Blair hasn’t a clue what to do and who’s going to take seriously a Foreign Secretary who looks like a moose and is a member of the Caravan Club?
No, my friends, we need decisive action. Decisive yet non lethal. Can it be done? Is such an approach possible? Of course it is. Contractors of the UK unite.
Anyone here old enough to remember the Falklands War will recall the magnificent flight of two Vulcan bombers from the UK to Port Stanley and back just to give the Argies a headache.
One of these aircraft is currently undergoing renovation through charitable donation, called the Vulan Trust. We contractors should pressure Gordo to make a contribution, in lieu of the extra tax he’s going to make out of us, to get the project done.
Then we can launch Operation Pigs Will Fly. The plan is quite simple. We use the Vulcan on a covert night mission to carpet bomb Iran with pork scratchings, ham and cheese toaties, gammon stakes, bacon sandwiches and pork pies. This will give the rag-heads a taste of things to come (excuse the pun!).
The result will be chaos! Public utilities will be paralysed by the sheer size of the clean up operation (if they dear touch a piece of dead pig). Women will be confined to their houses until some comes along to clean of a few pork-pie crumbs off their Burkha.
The rag heads will capitulate immediately!
Well, after about 7 pints of Griswold’s Bowel Blaster foaming ale (or whatever is we were drinking), it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Anyone here with ingenious and cunning plan to help out Tony?
Comment