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Shock News

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    Shock News

    I'm 38 (give or take a few months) and Mum wanted to come around mine today, to discuss "family business".

    "Oh Oh", I thought, wondering if she was ill (she's 74), or if a cousin in the family had died, or perhaps my dad (they divorced when I was 16) was ill or dead, blah blah blah.

    Then with tears welling up in her eyes, she blurts out the news.

    "You're adopted".

    Neither her nor my dad are my biological parents.

    I feel very strange.

    Anyone else been in the same situation ? How did you deal with it ? Did you contact or want to contact your biological parents ?

    I don't quite know what to think or make of this news...I feel somewhat numb and shellshocked.
    Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.

    C.S. Lewis

    #2
    You answered your own question there my friend.

    and Mum wanted to come around mine today, to discuss "family business".

    Nothing more need be said
    Confusion is a natural state of being

    Comment


      #3
      Sorry to hear that however in your near 38 years did you never look at either of them and think... Hmmmm they are nothing like me?

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by Board Game Geek
        ... she blurts out the news.

        "You're adopted".

        Neither her nor my dad are my biological parents.
        RESULT!

        In my case I would feel so happy. I'd be rushing to crack open my stash of Dom Perignon.
        Drivel is my speciality

        Comment


          #5
          Nothing more need be said
          Good point

          in your near 38 years did you never look at either of them and think... Hmmmm they are nothing like me?
          Strangely enough no..I have blonde hair and blue eyes like my dad and similar facial features (even a birthmark in almost same place as his on my back too).

          RESULT!

          In my case I would feel so happy. I'd be rushing to crack open my stash of Dom Perignon.
          LOL ! Perhaps I should too. I feel like I have won the lucky lottery of life.

          At 2 days old, I was about to be sent to a children's home before I was adopted. My blood family were "salt of the earth" types and I was destined for a very rough childhood. My "adoptive family" are middle class professionals, private school, blah blah blah.

          Blimming heck...how life could have turned out differently.

          The real strange thing is that my mum (and when i say mum, I mean the one who brought me up) doesn't like children at all, and never had any.

          However, when the young girl who was 19 came in to where she worked, when i was 2 days old, and said that she was sending me away, my mum went all dewey eyed and said "I'll take him." The young girl said "you are the 3rd person to ask, and I've turned the other 2 down, but something about you says yes". Mum would have been about 36 years old then.

          Such an act of selflessness is hard to comprehend, and I wonder what my life growing up in a children's home in the East End of London would have been like ?

          Perhaps you understand what it means when I say, I feel like I've won the lottery in life.

          The thing is...do I seek out my biological parents (if they are still alive) so that they can get closure on something that happened a long time ago. Do you think my birth mother wonders what happened to her son ?

          I accept that she rejected me (due to peer pressure) 38 years ago. But would it be polite to track her down and just say "I don't want to change your life or mess things up, so I'll be brief. I'm ok. You did the right thing. Goodbye".

          Or just let sleeping dogs lie ?

          I've never been one to get emotional and weepy, but this has come as a shock and I didn't realise I could be affected in such a way.

          Soz to burden the board...still, makes a change from house prices and immigration. :-)
          Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.

          C.S. Lewis

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by Board Game Geek

            Then with tears welling up in her eyes, she blurts out the news.

            "You're adopted".

            Neither her nor my dad are my biological parents.
            Seriously: Speak to those close to you about this. Semi-anonymous-never-met-in-your-life contractors: no. Good luck, though.

            Comment


              #7
              Seriously: Speak to those close to you about this. Semi-anonymous-never-met-in-your-life contractors: no. Good luck, though
              Actually, I don't know anyone on the Board in real life (Apart from one who I do business with and his posts are usually like reading my own).

              I accept I'll get a measure of stupid posts and so on. This is a General Forum after all, and some people like to provoke.

              However, that doesn't bother me...if people's opinions bothered me, I wouldn't have become a contractor for a start (right folks ?), nor a goth, nor a <fill in the space here >.

              So in this instance, I reasoned that there may be others who can share stories (if willing) if they have been in the same boat as well. Not that I want to turn this in to Agony Aunt time...woe is me sort of b0ll0x...but selective learning from others is part of the learning process.
              Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.

              C.S. Lewis

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by pisces
                Sorry to hear that however in your near 38 years did you never look at either of them and think... Hmmmm they are nothing like me?
                I'm adopted and my (fake) parents told me when I was quite young. I still think I look like my dad and have various habits and physical traits which are similar to both of them. Sometimes I think I'm probably actually their kid and they're just so embarrassed that they decided to tell me I was adopted and hope I'd believe it.

                Comment


                  #9
                  they're just so embarrassed that they decided to tell me I was adopted and hope I'd believe it.
                  PMSL !

                  I know what you mean about traits..I suppose we are all products of our environment and those around us and pick up habits from them.

                  Which makes me wonder...what is the meaning of a blood connection ? Does it have any significance ?

                  On one hand, no...but on the other, someone carried me around for 9 months and then had to give me away...surely that counts for something (good or bad)
                  Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.

                  C.S. Lewis

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by Diver
                    You answered your own question there my friend.

                    and Mum wanted to come around mine today, to discuss "family business".

                    Nothing more need be said
                    Wise words. Well said.
                    God made men. Sam Colt made them equal.

                    Comment

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