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dr_beat
5th September 2007, 11:51
This was posted at a forum that I frequent, I have omitted the company details to protect the innocent!! :tongue:tongue

The guy who posted it is gettting a real slating with ragards to the salary - or lack of!!!


WANTED: ICT Techician - Office based initially

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Company Name: *************************
Offsite Work Locations: Stoke-on-Trent/Staffordshire/Cheshire
Office Location: Just off junction 16 on the M6
Managing Director: ************ (the best boss in the world)

Qualifications Required: Where certifications are always helpful, they certainly do not tell me what you actually know. At the very least I expect you to be able to install WinXP (with all updates & drivers). If you can do that ... we can talk. You will be asked to bring your certs’ anyway though. Expect an interesting yet relaxed first interview.

Other Requirements: Car (in good working order) and a mobile phone (in good working order). Good communication skills are essential with plenty of patience and good manners required when talking to customers and fellow employees.

What you will be doing: Initially, you will be office based repairing PC's and Notebooks which will also involve assembling new PC's and setting up new notebooks. We are also a Certified Epson Express Centre so duties will also involve troubleshooting Epson printer problems and then processing warranties if required. This is easy stuff and training will be giving for the Express Centre side of **** (sometimes at Epson Head Office).

If you are the right candidate and prove your skills within the office environment, you will progress onto visiting Primary Schools (our main client base) for which Police Clearance will be required due to working in close proximity with young children. We also have a corporate customer base as well as home user callouts.

About ****: We are a small family run business. We like to think that our working environment (both on and off site) is fairly relaxed. However, while trying to retain this relaxed atmosphere, we NEVER lose sight of who pays the bills - our customers. 90% of our client base have been reached through ‘word of mouth’ referrals. We have a very good reputation which any member of staff is expected to strive to maintain and promote at ALL times.

What would help your application: Indepth knowledge of Win2003 and RM CC3 experience would be a big plus but not essential.

Salary/Wages: I have specifically not mentioned this and will not mention what you may or may not earn until I interview you. Why not you may ask? Well, I need candidates who are going to put my business and my customers first. If all you want to know is how much you will be earning ... I don't need you. Sorry if that sounds rude, but I want someone who actually WANTS to work for us and not someone who just wants to pay bills.

Future plans: We are about to embark on a marketing campaign aimed at Primary Schools as we wish to grow **** a little more. Although only looking for one technician now, we will most certainly hold unsuccesful applicants on file for future interviews. We currently have 1 roving technician and 3 office staff. Our aim is to increase that to 5 roving technicians as our customer base increases.

:rollin::rollin::rollin:

chicane
5th September 2007, 12:00
After running this through the bullsh*t translator, I came up with the following:

"I am looking for a submissive, talented individual with low self-esteem who will not challenge me with respect to issues of authority or salary. Please understand that I wish to retire within ten years from now, and as a result must pay all staff significantly below market rate whilst charging above market rate to my predominantly public-sector customers."

By the way, you might want to try harder next time to disguise the identity of the organisation involved.

gingerjedi
5th September 2007, 12:00
At the very least I expect you to be able to install WinXP (with all updates & drivers). If you can do that ... we can talk.

Says it all really, a 5 year old can follow simple on screen instructions.:rolleyes:

_V_
5th September 2007, 12:22
I worked at a small software house many years ago with the same attitude.

Staff were to be slaves, never question pay (it was rock bottom) or instructions and the customer is always right, even when they take the pure piss.

The MD and directors made millions and retired in their 40 and 50's to a life of economic bliss and all the "hard working, don't question, accept the low pay" staff were fired when they closed it down 10 years later.

HTH

dr_beat
5th September 2007, 12:27
By the way, you might want to try harder next time to disguise the identity of the organisation involved.

Silly me! :emb

Epiphone
5th September 2007, 13:04
After running this through the bullsh*t translator, I came up with the following:

"I am looking for a submissive, talented individual with low self-esteem who will not challenge me with respect to issues of authority or salary. Please understand that I wish to retire within ten years from now, and as a result must pay all staff significantly below market rate whilst charging above market rate to my predominantly public-sector customers."

By the way, you might want to try harder next time to disguise the identity of the organisation involved.

:rollin::rollin::rollin::rollin:

thunderlizard
5th September 2007, 13:11
I know somebody who used to do tech support for schools and nurseries. He got the weirdest callouts ever. Buttered toast in the CD drive was a common one.

sparklelard
5th September 2007, 13:16
I know somebody who used to do tech support for schools and nurseries. He got the weirdest callouts ever. Buttered toast in the CD drive was a common one.
And the classic urban myth of the teacher who re-arranged the keys on a keyboard in alphabetical order "so the children would find them quicker" only to call an engineer to find out why the keys didnt work properly.

NotAllThere
5th September 2007, 13:18
I worked at a small software house many years ago with the same attitude.

Staff were to be slaves, never question pay (it was rock bottom) or instructions and the customer is always right, even when they take the pure piss.

The MD and directors made millions and retired in their 40 and 50's to a life of economic bliss and all the "hard working, don't question, accept the low pay" staff were fired when they closed it down 10 years later.

HTH

That's the way I secured a very comfortable lifestyle.

If someone would care to pm the link to this job, I'm a bit bored at the moment, and would enjoy some playtime.

VectraMan
5th September 2007, 13:45
I worked at a small software house many years ago with the same attitude.

Staff were to be slaves, never question pay (it was rock bottom) or instructions and the customer is always right, even when they take the pure piss.

The MD and directors made millions and retired in their 40 and 50's to a life of economic bliss and all the "hard working, don't question, accept the low pay" staff were fired when they closed it down 10 years later.

You say that as if it were a bad thing.