May I offer some advice ?
DON'T.
Quite possibly the most painful medical procedure I have ever experienced.
Lay on left side, curled in to foetal position.
Back scrubbed and then each vertebrae prodded and poked and diagrammed with a medical pencil.
Then, once the selected entry point is found, a local anaesthetic to the area. Ouch !
Then the needle goes in and <THUNK!> they hit a bone (I hit the roof in agony).
Wiggle the needle around (owwww oowwww owwww) and find another route.
<SMASH> the needle nudges a nerve cluster (My legs kick out in reflex response).
By this time, I am quivering in fear like a bunny in the L'Oreal laboratory.
This is just the warm-up for the main action.
Now the fun really begins…
Out comes the needle, and they decide on some more local anaesthetic.
They try the needle again in a different route. <BUMP> Bone collision again (Major pain, even with 2 local anaesthetics now).
Another wiggle….<THUNK!> > 100 points…hit a nerve cluster. I dance on the bed like a demented marionette.
At this point, I’m shaking uncontrollably, sweating buckets, swearing like a trooper (inwardly of course) and I say to the trainee…”Look, I’ve had enough being guinea-pigged, so do you mind handing over to the consultant standing next to you. Nothing personal, but I’ve reached my tolerance of sustained torture this afternoon.”
So the consultant takes over. With a bigger needle. I almost go catatonic when I see that’s it’s the medical surgical steel equivalent of a telegraph pole.
<brace brace brace>
In it goes…<BUMP> hits a bone again and I can feel it and hear it scrape across the surface.
Consultant apologizes profusely. Another 2 shots of local anaesthetic. I’m now on more drugs than Ozzy.
In it goes again. <THUNK!> > owwww…<BUMP>owwww <TWINGE> oowww….(I’m now holding my breath and counting to 10….at 10 I’ll ask for an abort……6…7…8…9….)
<BINGO!>
“We’re in” the consultant says…
(Thank flip for that, I think). Drip drip drip…got the spinal fluid. All done.
Out it comes <minor twinge> and I lay on the bed, a dishevelled shell of my former self, shaking, in agony.
I say thanks (god knows why), and both of them mutter, then leave, then I sleep for the rest of the afternoon.
Back home now, on Co-Codamol (which I have to buy myself, the Hospital won’t give you anything to take home..it saves the pennies).
Had a constant headache for the last 7 hours. Thankfully has now worn off (any longer and they said it could be a “leak” and I’d have to go back to have it sealed ? Have it sealed ? what with ? A flipping soldering iron probably)
Everyone told me in advance how bad this proceedure was going to be.
Personally, it wasn't too bad.
IT WAS FLIPPING AWFUL !!!!
Now got to wait 6-12 weeks for the results.
Tomorrow night, Beer and I are going to be good friends….
I'm never going to complain about man-flu ever again...
DON'T.
Quite possibly the most painful medical procedure I have ever experienced.
Lay on left side, curled in to foetal position.
Back scrubbed and then each vertebrae prodded and poked and diagrammed with a medical pencil.
Then, once the selected entry point is found, a local anaesthetic to the area. Ouch !
Then the needle goes in and <THUNK!> they hit a bone (I hit the roof in agony).
Wiggle the needle around (owwww oowwww owwww) and find another route.
<SMASH> the needle nudges a nerve cluster (My legs kick out in reflex response).
By this time, I am quivering in fear like a bunny in the L'Oreal laboratory.
This is just the warm-up for the main action.
Now the fun really begins…
Out comes the needle, and they decide on some more local anaesthetic.
They try the needle again in a different route. <BUMP> Bone collision again (Major pain, even with 2 local anaesthetics now).
Another wiggle….<THUNK!> > 100 points…hit a nerve cluster. I dance on the bed like a demented marionette.
At this point, I’m shaking uncontrollably, sweating buckets, swearing like a trooper (inwardly of course) and I say to the trainee…”Look, I’ve had enough being guinea-pigged, so do you mind handing over to the consultant standing next to you. Nothing personal, but I’ve reached my tolerance of sustained torture this afternoon.”
So the consultant takes over. With a bigger needle. I almost go catatonic when I see that’s it’s the medical surgical steel equivalent of a telegraph pole.
<brace brace brace>
In it goes…<BUMP> hits a bone again and I can feel it and hear it scrape across the surface.
Consultant apologizes profusely. Another 2 shots of local anaesthetic. I’m now on more drugs than Ozzy.
In it goes again. <THUNK!> > owwww…<BUMP>owwww <TWINGE> oowww….(I’m now holding my breath and counting to 10….at 10 I’ll ask for an abort……6…7…8…9….)
<BINGO!>
“We’re in” the consultant says…
(Thank flip for that, I think). Drip drip drip…got the spinal fluid. All done.
Out it comes <minor twinge> and I lay on the bed, a dishevelled shell of my former self, shaking, in agony.
I say thanks (god knows why), and both of them mutter, then leave, then I sleep for the rest of the afternoon.
Back home now, on Co-Codamol (which I have to buy myself, the Hospital won’t give you anything to take home..it saves the pennies).
Had a constant headache for the last 7 hours. Thankfully has now worn off (any longer and they said it could be a “leak” and I’d have to go back to have it sealed ? Have it sealed ? what with ? A flipping soldering iron probably)
Everyone told me in advance how bad this proceedure was going to be.
Personally, it wasn't too bad.
IT WAS FLIPPING AWFUL !!!!
Now got to wait 6-12 weeks for the results.
Tomorrow night, Beer and I are going to be good friends….
I'm never going to complain about man-flu ever again...
scraping
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