What your newspaper says about you

[beaker]

There seem to be so many different newspapers about... At the risk of being caught buying the wrong paper, could you let me know what each of the papers says about you?

The Times = ?
The Independent = ?
Guardian = champagne socialist?
Daily Mail = ?
Express = ?
The Sun = naughty girl bits?
Any others I've missed?

[Troll]

Used to be a joke many years ago

Times - for people who think they run the country
Telegraph - for people who do run the country
Sun - for people who don't give a **** who runs the country as long as they have big tits

[Troll]

nice to see tits isn't censored too

[AtW]

Jim Hacker: Don't tell me about the press. I know exactly who reads the papers:

* The Daily Mirror is read by people who think they run the country;
* The Guardian is read by people who think they ought to run the country;
* The Times is read by people who actually do run the country;
* The Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country;
* The Financial Times is read by people who own the country;
* The Morning Star is read by people who think the country ought to be run by another country;
* And the Daily Telegraph is read by people who think it is.

Sir Humphrey: Prime Minister, what about the people who read the Sun?
Bernard Woolley: Sun readers don't care who runs the country, as long as she's got big norks.

[Diver]

nice to see tits isn't censored too

They would have to censor you

[Troll]

Jim Hacker: Don't tell me about the press. I know exactly who reads the papers:

* The Daily Mirror is read by people who think they run the country;
* The Guardian is read by people who think they ought to run the country;
* The Times is read by people who actually do run the country;
* The Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country;
* The Financial Times is read by people who own the country;
* The Morning Star is read by people who think the country ought to be run by another country;
* And the Daily Telegraph is read by people who think it is.

Sir Humphrey: Prime Minister, what about the people who read the Sun?
Bernard Woolley: Sun readers don't care who runs the country, as long as she's got big norks.

feck... poned by a ruskie

[Gonzo]

flip... poned by a ruskie

Me too. But, it is so good it is worth quoting in full.

[Denny]

Used to be a joke many years ago

Times - for people who think they run the country
Telegraph - for people who do run the country
Sun - for people who don't give a **** who runs the country as long as they have big tits

The Mail, for the wives of those who think they run the country.

At one time the paper you bought probably did reveal your social class: the broadsheets - Times, Telegraph, Guardian, Independent, Observer - meant you were likely to be solid educted middle class; the tabloids - Daily Mail, Daily Express - meant you were aspirational white-collar lower middle class; the gutter press - Sun, Mirror, People - working class. Clearly, the upper classes don't buy a paper they just owned them or didn't think the news affected them on their lordly private estates.

These days buying a hard copy paper doesn't tell you anything now about a person's class now that you can view them on the internet pretty easily enough. I tend to read the broadsheets on the internet and if I want something to skim though over a coffee out somewhere I'll buy something like The Mail for the health and fashion features etc and ignore the sanctamoneous editorial.

[AtW]

flip... poned by a ruskie

I like "Yes, Minister".

[Troll]