12 Ways To Get Rid of Telemarketers -- Unknown Author
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1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just
filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
Ask, "How long can I keep it? Do I have to ever pay it
back, or is it like the other money you borrowed before
your bankruptcy?"
2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why
do you want to know?" Or you can say, "I'm so glad you
asked, because no one seems to care these days and I have
all these problems, my sciatica is acting up, my eyelashes
are sore, my dog just died...." When they get try to get
back to the sales process, just continue on with telling
about your problems.
3. If the person says he's Joe Doe from the XYZ Company,
ask him to spell their name, then ask them to spell the
company name, then ask them where it located. Continue
asking them personal questions or questions about their
company for as long as necessary.
4. This one works better if you are male: Telemarketer:
"Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with Canter and Siegel
services....
You: "Hang on a second." (few seconds pause) "Okay, (in a
really husky voice) what are you wearing?"
5. Crying out, in well-simulated tones of pleasure and
surprise, "Judy!! Is this really you? Oh, my God! Judy,
how have you BEEN?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few
brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where
the hell she could know you from.
6. Say, "No", over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of
each no, and keep an even tempo even as they're trying to
speak. This is the most fun if you can keep going until
they hang up.
7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up with their
Family and Friends plan, reply, in a sinister a voice as
you can muster, "I don't have any friends...would you be
my friend?"
8. If they clean rugs: "Can you get blood out, you can?
Well, how about goat blood or HUMAN blood - chicken blood
too?"
9. Let the person go through their spiel, providing
minimal but necessary feedback in the form of an
occasional "Uh-huh, really, or, "That's fascinating."
Finally, when they ask you to buy, ask them to marry you.
They get all flustered, but just tell them you couldn't
give your credit card number to someone who's a complete
stranger.
10. Tell them you work for the same company they work for.
Example:
Telemarketer: "This is Bill from Watertronics."
You: "Watertronics!! Hey I work for them too. Where are
you calling from?"
Telemarketer: "Uh, Dallas, Texas."
You: "Great, they have a group there too? How's
business/the weather? Too bad the company has a policy
against selling to employees! Oh well, see ya."
11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a
telemarketer, set the receiver down, shout or scream, "Oh,
my God!!!" and then hang up.
12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy and if they will
give you their phone number you will call them back. If
they say they are not allow to give out their number, then
ask them for their home number and tell them you will call
them at home (this is usually the most effective method of
getting rid of Telemarketers).
If the person says, "Well, I don't really want to get a
call at home," say, "Ya! Now you know how I feel, smiling
of course...
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1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just
filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
Ask, "How long can I keep it? Do I have to ever pay it
back, or is it like the other money you borrowed before
your bankruptcy?"
2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why
do you want to know?" Or you can say, "I'm so glad you
asked, because no one seems to care these days and I have
all these problems, my sciatica is acting up, my eyelashes
are sore, my dog just died...." When they get try to get
back to the sales process, just continue on with telling
about your problems.
3. If the person says he's Joe Doe from the XYZ Company,
ask him to spell their name, then ask them to spell the
company name, then ask them where it located. Continue
asking them personal questions or questions about their
company for as long as necessary.
4. This one works better if you are male: Telemarketer:
"Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with Canter and Siegel
services....
You: "Hang on a second." (few seconds pause) "Okay, (in a
really husky voice) what are you wearing?"
5. Crying out, in well-simulated tones of pleasure and
surprise, "Judy!! Is this really you? Oh, my God! Judy,
how have you BEEN?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few
brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where
the hell she could know you from.
6. Say, "No", over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of
each no, and keep an even tempo even as they're trying to
speak. This is the most fun if you can keep going until
they hang up.
7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up with their
Family and Friends plan, reply, in a sinister a voice as
you can muster, "I don't have any friends...would you be
my friend?"
8. If they clean rugs: "Can you get blood out, you can?
Well, how about goat blood or HUMAN blood - chicken blood
too?"
9. Let the person go through their spiel, providing
minimal but necessary feedback in the form of an
occasional "Uh-huh, really, or, "That's fascinating."
Finally, when they ask you to buy, ask them to marry you.
They get all flustered, but just tell them you couldn't
give your credit card number to someone who's a complete
stranger.
10. Tell them you work for the same company they work for.
Example:
Telemarketer: "This is Bill from Watertronics."
You: "Watertronics!! Hey I work for them too. Where are
you calling from?"
Telemarketer: "Uh, Dallas, Texas."
You: "Great, they have a group there too? How's
business/the weather? Too bad the company has a policy
against selling to employees! Oh well, see ya."
11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a
telemarketer, set the receiver down, shout or scream, "Oh,
my God!!!" and then hang up.
12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy and if they will
give you their phone number you will call them back. If
they say they are not allow to give out their number, then
ask them for their home number and tell them you will call
them at home (this is usually the most effective method of
getting rid of Telemarketers).
If the person says, "Well, I don't really want to get a
call at home," say, "Ya! Now you know how I feel, smiling
of course...
guru 
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