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Obama is a get out 'racism jail' free card!

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    Obama is a get out 'racism jail' free card!

    http://kissmesuzy.blogspot.com/2008/...obama-and.html

    It’s primary day here in the DC area. Due to the fact that I am a registered independent and a convicted embezzler/animal sex offender, I’m not eligible to vote in any of these things. I tried to change my registration, but I was far too late to do so. But, if I were eligible, I would totally vote for this guy, Barack Obama. In fact, I even gave his campaign ten dollars, and I plan on happily voting for him in November. Now, I have political reasons for voting for Obama. I like him, I like his policies, I think he’s a great leader and all that tulip.

    But **** all that for a moment. There’s another reason I want to vote for Obama, and it is this. Voting for Barack Obama gives me, a white person, a new and refreshing way to let people know that I am NOT a racist. For years, after making a terrible ethnic joke, I always tried to counter any accusations of racism with the tired excuse, “Hey, I’ve got black friends.”

    First of all, this excuse has been beaten into the ground by too many white people (such as me) over the years. No one buys it anymore, and rightfully so. You’re just a boy crying black wolf if you say it. Second of all, I haven’t seen my one black friend in over a year. Which sucks, because my friend Turk (not his real name, nor does he call me JD) may know more about pornography than any man in history. The darkest friend I have after that is my friend Tony, and I only say he’s dark because he wears lots of black and is on lithium. The rest of my friends are whiter than a blank Word document.

    So that excuse doesn’t wash any more for my lily-white preppy Bethesda ass. If I want to deflect any and all racial criticism, I’m gonna need something better. And that’s what this knight in shining chocolate armor gives me. How racist can I be if I actively contributed to and voted for a silky smooth black man to be leader of the free world? Answer: NOT RACIST AT ALL!

    Did I complain about that fat black woman who was walking too slowly down the sidewalk, whom I could not get around? Sure did. But I’m not racist. I VOTED FOR OBAMA, GOD DAMMIT. Do I know every line of “Blazing Saddles” by heart? Oh, yeah. But I’m not racist. I VOTED FOR OBAMA, GOD DAMMIT. Does my sphincter tighten if I’m alone in a parking garage late at night after a movie and I see a black man approaching? Possibly. But I’m not racist. I VOTED FOR OBAMA, GOD DAMMIT. Do I think that John Thompson may be legally retarded? Good God, yes. But I’m not racist. I VOTED FOR OBAMA, GOD DAMMIT.

    You see? With one pull of the lever, I’ve got a whole new excuse for all my minor prejudices and subconscious anxieties towards people who are different from me. And that buys me another decade or so to avoid confronting and trying to fix all those pesky inner flaws. Oh, the freedom tastes so sweet!

    AND it gives me carte blanche to accuse OTHER white people of being racist, which is just about the most enjoyable thing in the world. Because, if you didn’t know it by now, the fact is that the most racially offensive thing to call a white person today is “racist”. “Honky” and “cracka” don’t bother them in the least. But call a white person the r-word? Holy tulip, do they get upset. It’s terrific fun. Look at all those Massholes. They voted for that white Clinton bitch in the primary. WHAT A BUNCH OF FILTHY RACISTS! If only they had voted for Obama like me, then they would be extremely NOT racist. But they didn’t, so **** those unenlightened, Klan-rallying racists.

    I’m also hoping this vote gives me an opportunity to broaden my ethnic joke repertoire. Ever notice how Asian people treat other people as if they’re completely invisible? Or that some black grocery store clerks always need the key? Those are topics I’d really like to touch on. Not that I’m racist. I VOTED FOR OBAMA, GOD DAMMIT.

    I tell you, playing this Obama card will work absolute wonders for us all. We’re about to enter a whole new world of acceptable ethnic humor, which I think will help unify us all. Can we make it happen? Well, if I may be so bold: YES WE CAN!

    #2
    Nice Cut'n'Paste. Did you have any comment to add?
    “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

    Comment


      #3
      Did you know whites will be in the minority in the USA by 2050?
      How fortunate for governments that the people they administer don't think

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by Troll View Post
        Did you know whites will be in the minority in the USA by 2050?

        Yeah I'm hoping global warming will mean I have a nice tan all year round.

        It's been suprisingly sunny the last few days. Make the most of it peeps, summer's here!
        Feist - 1234. One camera, one take, no editing. Superb. How they did it
        Feist - I Feel It All
        Feist - The Bad In Each Other (Later With Jools Holland)

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by Troll View Post
          Did you know whites will be in the minority in the USA by 2050?
          Whites were a minority in the US until a couple of hundred years ago, so it's just returning to the long term average.

          Comment


            #6
            Nice Cut'n'Paste. Did you have any comment to add?
            No. Next

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by zeitghost
              Indeed.

              Snow is forecast for June.
              And people still buy all that global warming bollox. Even Scotland had enough snowfall recently to re-open the snow-slopes. I hope we can reclaim all the green related tax we're going to be lumbered with over the years, if it does turn out to be global cooling instead.
              Feist - 1234. One camera, one take, no editing. Superb. How they did it
              Feist - I Feel It All
              Feist - The Bad In Each Other (Later With Jools Holland)

              Comment


                #8
                I hope we can reclaim all the green related tax we're going to be lumbered with over the years



                Rest easy PAH.

                I can assue you that - somebody somewhere within the People's Government is persuing this very matter in the interest of all hard-working-tax-payers .

                (Exits stage left with evil chortle .....)

                Comment

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