You make a statement...and then blush

[Board Game Geek]

I did a classic one today.

I'm in a doctor's surgery, in their admin office. I'm installing a new PC in to the domain, so I need an unused static IP address (The site cannot use DHCP due to a clinical application that hates DHCP).

So, the practice manager turns on all the PC's for me and returns to the office.

She asks me "How are you going to choose an IP address ?"

Knowing that I have AngryIP on my USB pen, I sit down at her PC and say :

"Right. First step. I need to get my little tool out"

(meaning the USB pen from my pocket)

<cue pandemonium and giggles from the present ladies>

I tell ya, these medical secs may appear to be prim and proper, but they are seriously fun when they know someone.

Anyone else recall an anecdote when you innocously say X, but it easily translates in to smut ?

I love the UK's national sense of humour, replete with double entendres et al.

[BrilloPad]

none of us have ever done anything like that - it is just you

[BrowneIssue]

"Right. First step. I need to get my little tool out"

:

Anyone else recall an anecdote when you innocously say X, but it easily translates in to smut ?

Sorry, I can't say I've ever heard of that happening before.

Does it happen to you much?

[NotAllThere]

I was discussing snow conditions with some German women, and said it was a bit mushy. They didn't know the word, so I looked it up on the dictionary on my pda. "weichlich".

They all burst out laughing but wouldn't tell me why. Later, on of the men told me.

How was I to know that it is local slang for how a lady gets when she's turned on?

[Spacecadet]

Yesterday I said something about my hose being too short to get in a hole.
Seemed to get a few giggles from some normally quite anal IT workers

[wobbegong]

A woman in the accounts dept here was talking with the auditors (not renowned for their sense of humour) the other day, and unfortunately instead of saying "Joe Bloggs" she said "Blow Jobs".

Auditors; straight faced.
Accountant; red faced.
Wobb; sniggering like Mutley.

[threaded]

When I first came to Denmark and didn't quite know the language, on the cycle races when about to lap they'd shout "bagfra", and I got used to shouting it as a warning when about to overtake, one day I shouted this on the cycle path on my daily commute and got a really odd look from this lady as I passed.

So when I got to work I asked what it meant: "from behind", yeah OK, so what's the problem?

Some months later in a more intimate mileau I discovered it's meaning is more like "doggy style"

[51st State]

I once went to HMV and asked the pretty young lady behind the counter "Have you got Laid by James?"

[darmstadt]

I was discussing snow conditions with some German women, and said it was a bit mushy. They didn't know the word, so I looked it up on the dictionary on my pda. "weichlich".

'mushy' is also a German slang word for a woman's private parts.

I get problems with the German words for gay (as in nine bob note) and humid, schwül and schwul...

[NotAllThere]

I get problems with the German words for gay (as in nine bob note) and humid, schwül and schwul...

That's why I don't use either word. I can never remember which is which.