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Lifetime cost of a chav

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    Lifetime cost of a chav

    Just watching the Matthews scum has made me think about this.

    From birth to 18:

    Child tax credits + child benefit, about £5k/year, rising with inflation

    From 4 to 18:
    Education @ £5.5k/year

    Age 18 to death (assume age 68 due to poor lifestyle choices):
    Benefits @ £10k/year (housing benefit, council tax benefit, JSA, income support, etc.)

    Crime:
    assume 3 years in prison @ £40k/year
    plus legal costs, costs to society, costs for security, additional policing, damage to businesses, etc., for committing 100 crimes in lifetime, let's say £500k.

    Total lifetime cost of 1 chav = crime @ £620k. The other costs work out about £10k/year. An inflation-linked 'chav annuity' to fund this over 68 years should cost about £500k.

    This excludes any possible disability benefits claimed.

    Therefore, one chav = £1m + an assumed infinite line of succession (through reproduction), gives a compounded cost of one chav birth of millions of pounds to the country.

    Obviously it's difficult to tackle this problem without causing human rights concerns. Therefore, I propose a new charity. Inspired by Marie Stopes, it will be called Chav Stops International. Basically the model is a mobile van that goes around council estates offering abortions on demand, with a free Juicy Couture tracksuit with every abortion.

    It should pay for itself in no time.

    To make up the shortfall in population, given the news that Eastern Europeans found thousands of jobs in areas where unemployment is as high as 76% (http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/new...cle3689786.ece), Eastern Europeans will be encouraged to settle to replace the chav shortfall. Obviously given concerns about immigration this would be on a one-out, one-in basis - for each chavbortion, there would be one person admitted to the country.

    #2
    I propose that we send them all to the moon - or venus or mars.....anywhere the rest of the human poulation has no intention of going.
    It's Deja-vu all over again!

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      #3
      Originally posted by KathyWoolfe View Post
      I propose that we send them all to the moon - or venus or mars.....anywhere the rest of the human poulation has no intention of going.

      Cheaper to force them to wear jeans and normal clothes. Like the rest of us. That is all that's really the difference.
      Feist - 1234. One camera, one take, no editing. Superb. How they did it
      Feist - I Feel It All
      Feist - The Bad In Each Other (Later With Jools Holland)

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by KathyWoolfe View Post
        ...anywhere the rest of the human population has no intention of going.
        Which is wherever they settle, so it's a self-fulfilling prophecy.
        I propose ring-fencing bad estates and instituting border controls with martial law. Think 'Berlin Wall meets Escape to New York'.

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by PAH View Post
          Cheaper to force them to wear jeans and normal clothes. Like the rest of us. That is all that's really the difference.
          Not deep down - think Wayne and Waynetta.... 'cause thats what most people think of when they think "chav"

          What is really annoying is that they've given the once-reputable brand "Burberry" a bad name os that anyone seen wearing it is now automatically assumed to be chav
          Last edited by KathyWoolfe; 10 April 2008, 13:15.
          It's Deja-vu all over again!

          Comment


            #6
            Contraceptive-injection linked benefits. It's the only way...
            ǝןqqıʍ

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by DiscoStu View Post
              Contraceptive-injection linked benefits. It's the only way...

              I like the way your thoughts are going.......
              It's Deja-vu all over again!

              Comment


                #8
                One thing you neglect is the poor and hence chavs have a high propensity to spend all of their 'income' which bizzarely helps to keep the economy to keep ticking over.

                Chav seems to have come to encompass anyone who is unfortunate enough to live in council housing, while social mobility is rarer in these environments it isn't unheard of. Some successful people started life on council estates, e.g. David Davis MP who was not so long ago running to be leader of the Conservatives, not well known as an organisation of Chavs

                PS the kidnapper of Shannon Mathews was a computer programmer, anyone like to make some wild stereotypes about those individuals?
                Last edited by Bagpuss; 10 April 2008, 13:18.
                The court heard Darren Upton had written a letter to Judge Sally Cahill QC saying he wasn’t “a typical inmate of prison”.

                But the judge said: “That simply demonstrates your arrogance continues. You are typical. Inmates of prison are people who are dishonest. You are a thoroughly dishonestly man motivated by your own selfish greed.”

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by KathyWoolfe View Post
                  I like the way your thoughts are going.......
                  Hitler would be pleased that his legacy still remains
                  "Experience hath shewn, that even under the best forms of government those entrusted with power have, in time, and by slow operations, perverted it into tyranny. "


                  Thomas Jefferson

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by Bagpuss View Post
                    PS the kidnapper of Shannon Mathews was a computer programmer, anyone like to make some wild stereotypes about those individuals?
                    They're all c n u ts.

                    HTH.
                    "Experience hath shewn, that even under the best forms of government those entrusted with power have, in time, and by slow operations, perverted it into tyranny. "


                    Thomas Jefferson

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