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dude69
10th April 2008, 12:54
Just watching the Matthews scum has made me think about this.

From birth to 18:

Child tax credits + child benefit, about £5k/year, rising with inflation

From 4 to 18:
Education @ £5.5k/year

Age 18 to death (assume age 68 due to poor lifestyle choices):
Benefits @ £10k/year (housing benefit, council tax benefit, JSA, income support, etc.)

Crime:
assume 3 years in prison @ £40k/year
plus legal costs, costs to society, costs for security, additional policing, damage to businesses, etc., for committing 100 crimes in lifetime, let's say £500k.

Total lifetime cost of 1 chav = crime @ £620k. The other costs work out about £10k/year. An inflation-linked 'chav annuity' to fund this over 68 years should cost about £500k.

This excludes any possible disability benefits claimed.

Therefore, one chav = £1m + an assumed infinite line of succession (through reproduction), gives a compounded cost of one chav birth of millions of pounds to the country.

Obviously it's difficult to tackle this problem without causing human rights concerns. Therefore, I propose a new charity. Inspired by Marie Stopes, it will be called Chav Stops International. Basically the model is a mobile van that goes around council estates offering abortions on demand, with a free Juicy Couture tracksuit with every abortion.

It should pay for itself in no time.

To make up the shortfall in population, given the news that Eastern Europeans found thousands of jobs in areas where unemployment is as high as 76% (http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article3689786.ece), Eastern Europeans will be encouraged to settle to replace the chav shortfall. Obviously given concerns about immigration this would be on a one-out, one-in basis - for each chavbortion, there would be one person admitted to the country.

KathyWoolfe
10th April 2008, 12:56
I propose that we send them all to the moon - or venus or mars.....anywhere the rest of the human poulation has no intention of going.

PAH
10th April 2008, 13:00
I propose that we send them all to the moon - or venus or mars.....anywhere the rest of the human poulation has no intention of going.


Cheaper to force them to wear jeans and normal clothes. Like the rest of us. That is all that's really the difference.

realityhack
10th April 2008, 13:02
...anywhere the rest of the human population has no intention of going.
Which is wherever they settle, so it's a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I propose ring-fencing bad estates and instituting border controls with martial law. Think 'Berlin Wall meets Escape to New York'.

KathyWoolfe
10th April 2008, 13:06
Cheaper to force them to wear jeans and normal clothes. Like the rest of us. That is all that's really the difference.

Not deep down - think Wayne and Waynetta.... 'cause thats what most people think of when they think "chav"

What is really annoying is that they've given the once-reputable brand "Burberry" a bad name os that anyone seen wearing it is now automatically assumed to be chav

DiscoStu
10th April 2008, 13:07
Contraceptive-injection linked benefits. It's the only way...

KathyWoolfe
10th April 2008, 13:08
Contraceptive-injection linked benefits. It's the only way...


I like the way your thoughts are going.......

Bagpuss
10th April 2008, 13:15
One thing you neglect is the poor and hence chavs have a high propensity to spend all of their 'income' which bizzarely helps to keep the economy to keep ticking over.

Chav seems to have come to encompass anyone who is unfortunate enough to live in council housing, while social mobility is rarer in these environments it isn't unheard of. Some successful people started life on council estates, e.g. David Davis MP who was not so long ago running to be leader of the Conservatives, not well known as an organisation of Chavs

PS the kidnapper of Shannon Mathews was a computer programmer, anyone like to make some wild stereotypes about those individuals?

Ruprect
10th April 2008, 13:15
I like the way your thoughts are going.......

Hitler would be pleased that his legacy still remains

Ruprect
10th April 2008, 13:16
PS the kidnapper of Shannon Mathews was a computer programmer, anyone like to make some wild stereotypes about those individuals?

They're all c n u ts.

HTH.

KathyWoolfe
10th April 2008, 13:17
One thing you neglect is the poor and hence chavs have a high propensity to spend all of their 'income' which bizzarely helps to keep the economy ticking over.

PS the kidnapper of Shannon Mathews was a computer programmer, anyone like to make some wild stereotypes about those individuals?

I'm not knocking the poor, I'm due to become relatively poorer soon and living off state benefits myself.

PS. what language did he program in?

PAH
10th April 2008, 13:19
PS the kidnapper of Shannon Mathews was a computer programmer, anyone like to make some wild stereotypes about those individuals?


Computer programming is about as widespread as operating a TV remote control. Just using Windows can be classed as programming, you see about the same number of error exceptions as us 'professionals'. In fact with my code, you see less. :D

Spacecadet
10th April 2008, 13:20
What is really annoying is that they've given the once-reputable brand "Burberry" a bad name os that anyone seen wearing it is now automatically assumed to be chav

Depends what it is and how its worn, i got my wife a Burberry belt which looks very nice on her and doesn't smack of chav.

On the other hand, burberry baseball cap (usually fake Burberry) is totally chav and wearers should be shot (or at least mocked) on sight.

xoggoth
10th April 2008, 13:21
Our disincentivising society creates chavs. It is a chav factory. All those hard working migrants will be chavs too within a generation.

KathyWoolfe
10th April 2008, 13:26
Our disincentivising society creates chavs. It is a chav factory. All those hard working migrants will be chavs too within a generation.

Not sure I agree with you. There are lots of poor out there who aren't chavs, simply because they might be too old to fit into the chav "culture".

On the other hand I can think of at least a couple of celebrities who have £millions and have their own TV show who I would class as world-class chav.

PAH
10th April 2008, 13:36
On the other hand I can think of at least a couple of celebrities who have £millions and have their own TV show who I would class as world-class chav.


It'll be an olympic sport for 2012 we're that desperate for medals.

shelby68
10th April 2008, 13:39
Contraceptive-injection linked benefits. It's the only way...

Well that would be the first step Mein Fuhrer, I mean Mr OS, Zen ve build railroads from the council estates straight to ze, Camps! :tantrum:

Seriously though it goes deeper than just what they wear, it's actually fashionable now to be uneducated and aspire to sweet FA.

When I was growing up you didn't want to be associated with the slower kids at school, now they wear being thick like a badge of honor.

PAH
10th April 2008, 13:45
When I was growing up you didn't want to be associated with the slower kids at school, now they wear being thick like a badge of honor.


That's the hare and tortoise race for you. The slow ones always win in the end.

Bagpuss
10th April 2008, 13:47
When I was growing up you didn't want to be associated with the slower kids at school, now they wear being thick like a badge of honor.

Being outside the norm causes the problems as it always has. Be it a swot or a thicko or a goth, the herd don't like that they seek to be average. Now it's fashionable to dress chavy and sound like "I iz black", at a time when black people are trying to dismiss negative stereotypes, the white youth are actively embracing them.

r0bly0ns
10th April 2008, 13:59
Age 18 to death (assume age 68 due to poor lifestyle choices):
Benefits @ £10k/year (housing benefit, council tax benefit, JSA, income support, etc.)



Probabaly closer to 40k a year with 7 kids.

I seem to remeber that Lizzie Bardsly was getting about 28k with 5 kids.

roadster198
10th April 2008, 14:08
I'm not knocking the poor, I'm due to become relatively poorer soon and living off state benefits myself.

PS. what language did he program in?

Wooa Wooa.... I thought you were looking at Astons not long ago????

dude69
10th April 2008, 14:09
Probabaly closer to 40k a year with 7 kids.

I seem to remeber that Lizzie Bardsly was getting about 28k with 5 kids.

I was treating £10k as the cost of the chav alone. Assuming the chav population is self-sustaining (not growing), then if one chav costs £1m, and with the modern welfare state and scum culture basically eliminating any social mobility, that £1m repeats over the generations. Forever. And rising with wages (because benefits are now linked to incomes, but tax bands are linked to inflation)

KathyWoolfe
10th April 2008, 14:11
Wooa Wooa.... I thought you were looking at Astons not long ago????


Only if we win the lottery......

roadster198
10th April 2008, 14:12
burberry baseball cap (usually fake Burberry) is totally chav and wearers should be shot (or at least mocked) on sight.

No No you were right first time :D

whilst out running last night (no not from the law) I passed one with classic Chav garb on including Burberry cap I had a ridiculous urge to skelp him but I refrained, any more of that and I'll be painting council houses or probably worse......

expat
10th April 2008, 14:32
Probabaly closer to 40k a year with 7 kids.

I seem to remeber that Lizzie Bardsly was getting about 28k with 5 kids.38k with 8 kids. But 1k of that is earned income.

What they receive:

CHILD BENEFIT £4,747.60 per year (£16.05 for son Elliott and £10.75 for each of their other children)
CARERS’ ALLOWANCE £5,691.40 (For Marky-Jay, who has chronic asthma)
INCOME SUPPORT £13,710.84 (For Mrs Bardsley and the children)
INCAPACITY BENEFIT £4,446 (For Mr Bardsley who has had depression since his father died six years ago)
DISABILITY LIVING ALLOWANCE £5,051.80 (For Marky-Jay)
DISABILITY LIVING ALLOWANCE £3,754.40 (For Vienna, also registered as a chronic asthmatic)
LIZZIE’S WAGES £1,000 (She gets £20 a week from a job answering the phone for a taxi firm)
TOTAL £38,402

roadster198
10th April 2008, 14:36
38k with 8 kids. But 1k of that is earned income.

What they receive:

CHILD BENEFIT £4,747.60 per year (£16.05 for son Elliott and £10.75 for each of their other children)
CARERS’ ALLOWANCE £5,691.40 (For Marky-Jay, who has chronic asthma)
INCOME SUPPORT £13,710.84 (For Mrs Bardsley and the children)
INCAPACITY BENEFIT £4,446 (For Mr Bardsley who has had depression since his father died six years ago)
DISABILITY LIVING ALLOWANCE £5,051.80 (For Marky-Jay)
DISABILITY LIVING ALLOWANCE £3,754.40 (For Vienna, also registered as a chronic asthmatic)
LIZZIE’S WAGES £1,000 (She gets £20 a week from a job answering the phone for a taxi firm)
TOTAL £38,402


It always amazes me how their smart enough to know exactly what to claim for but not smart enough to go work or try a bit harder. Benefit for being depressed WTF!!! :tantrum:

seriously don't get me started on these types of chunts!!!!!
and to the PC brigade who support them remember you to are paying for these wasters :tantrum:

KathyWoolfe
10th April 2008, 14:40
It always amazes me how their smart enough to know exactly what to claim for but not smart enough to go work or try a bit harder. Benefit for being depressed WTF!!! :tantrum:

seriously don't get me started on these types of chunts!!!!!
and to the PC brigade who support them remember you to are paying for these wasters :tantrum:

There are places run by left-wing liberals who take great pleasure in advising these people what they're entitled to - usually called "benfit shops" - and no, they're not the Citizens' Advice Bureau who do a wonderful job.

Bagpuss
10th April 2008, 14:51
seriously don't get me started on these types of chunts!!!!!
and to the PC brigade who support them remember you to are paying for these wasters :tantrum:

What has political correctness got to do with chav culture? It's a bit like when thick people confuse health and safety legislation with political correctness as favoured by lazy journalists like Richard Littlejohn.

KathyWoolfe
10th April 2008, 14:58
It's not rocket science.


Though I suppose it is if you want to send them to Venus or Mars.

We could always export them to your home planet.......

KathyWoolfe
10th April 2008, 15:07
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

Unlimited supply of Long Pig....


Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

We'd have to get the diet right though, they taste pretty gross at the moment.

And the crackling looks distinctly odd with all those tats...

Well, I bet your chefs would look upon them as a challenge. Unless you eat them raw of course......

shelby68
10th April 2008, 15:12
If we were to cull all the chav's how many generations would it take before they (de-)evolved again....

oracleslave
10th April 2008, 15:14
If we were to cull all the chav's how many generations would it take before they (de-)evolved again....

1.

dude69
10th April 2008, 15:32
If we were to cull all the chav's how many generations would it take before they (de-)evolved again....

It's dependent on the supply of benefits and tracksuits. Cut them both off and things would improve.

Chavs do not exist in other countries, at least not as prevalently as they do here.

I was recently in Belgium, in Antwerp, and was talking to a Belgian guy and quizzing him about life there.

He said there are no private schools there, everyone goes to their local school, they have a bit of a problem with immigrants in the schools but the government has distributed them among the schools. He also said he visited the UK, around Exeter, and was really surprised at the huge number of people he said seemed to spend all their lives getting drunk and taking pills.

I asked him about anti-social behaviour but he said it wasn't really a major problem. I pointed out the graffiti on the shelter in the park and he said yes, but look that is clearly many years old. As I recalled that the play equipment in my previous outer London park was graffitied before it had even been opened, I couldn't disagree with him.

He then informed me that beer there is cheaper than water (this is true, a two-litre bottle of beer costs less than one euro).

ASB
10th April 2008, 16:09
Chavette goes into the termination clinic and has the deed done.

A few days later she finds a brown envelope on the council flat doormat. Inside is a cheque for 500 quid.

She rings the clinic and says "what's this all about".

"Oh that, it's a donation from crimestoppers".


IGMC.

FarmerPalmer
10th April 2008, 18:50
Legalise Chav Hunting

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Chav+Hunting