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sasguru
15th April 2008, 13:53
Seeing as everyone here is so doom and gloom, here's a thread to cheer you up. Remember, in a recession, economic activity continues albeit in a more restrained form. Here's a list of areas where I think there will be opportunity. Feel free to add your own:

Regulatory activity (Basle, Sarbanes Oxley, FSA) - a must do
Drug development (Phase 2/3 Clinical trials) - too expensive/strategic to abandon
BI work (bit of a catch all - in a recession, managers need to keep close tabs on the business)
Public sector (the usual gravy train)

Any others?

hyperD
15th April 2008, 13:54
Picking up body parts on train lines

Francko
15th April 2008, 13:54
Seeing as everyone here is so doom and gloom, here's a thread to cheer you up. Remember, in a recession, economic activity continues albeit in a more restrained form. Here's a list of areas where I think there will be opportunity. Feel free to add your own:

Regulatory activity (Basle, Sarbanes Oxley, FSA) - a must do
Drug development (Phase 2/3 Clinical trials) - too expensive/strategic to abandon
BI work (bit of a catch all - in a recession, managers need to keep close tabs on the business)
Public sector (the usual gray train)

Any others?


There is no recession in the SAP *tut-tut* groovy train.

snaw
15th April 2008, 13:54
Benefits officer ...

bogeyman
15th April 2008, 13:56
Any others?

Hairdressing?

Web dev - people will always need websites like they need their hair cutting.

Similar levels of remuneration too.

sasguru
15th April 2008, 13:56
There is no recession in the SAP *tut-tut* groovy train.

I think you mean "toot toot":laugh
I guess you're right - but that would fall under my BI category I think.

Spacecadet
15th April 2008, 13:57
There is no recession in the SAP *tut-tut* groovy train.

SAP always pays for itself within 6 months of implementation

BrilloPad
15th April 2008, 13:59
work at Tesco. people always need to eat.

minsky1
15th April 2008, 13:59
Bailiff?

snaw
15th April 2008, 14:00
House valuation (Whatever the hell that's called in real life - valuer?)

miffy
15th April 2008, 14:01
Security Guard

bogeyman
15th April 2008, 14:09
Chav wrangler

Below - Genuine occupational titles from the 1881 Census of Great Britain

(Note: the occupations given here were in answer to the question 'rank, profession or occupation').

52 Years an Imbecile
Beef Twister
Bottie Washer
Boy for General Purposes
Can Make Nothing of the Paper
Colourist of Artificial Fish
Count as Female
Cow Banger (Ag Lab)
Curer of Smokey Chimneys
Dead
Decayed Publisher (No Occ)
Describes Himself as Leaving No Trace
Disinfector of Railway (Oths)
Dog Performer
Egg Breaker
Egg Cracker
Electric Bath Attendant
Emasculator
Employed with Head Off
Examiner of Underclothing
Fatuous Pauper
Feeding Boy to Printing Machine
Ferret Weaver
Fish Bender
Floater
Follows Wifely Occupations
Formerly Fat
Grape Dryer
Gymnast to House Painter
Hand in Hartleys Jam
Head of Female
Invalid Kings Evil
Invisible Net Maker
Keeps Own House at Home
Knocker Up of Workpeople
Maker of Sand Views
Negro Comedian White Eyed Musical Kaffir
Pensioner in Charge of the Magnet
Prime Minister (No Occ)
Proprietor of Midgets
Ripper Coalmine (Blows Roof Down)
Runs Abt Selling Fish (Hawker)
Rust Attendant at a Lavatory
Sampler of Drugs
Seperated from Head
Sick Maker
Supposed to be a Lady
Teacher of Wax Flowers
Tender of Charge of Cubes
Tool Maker (Screws) Wife
Travels With an Entire Horse
Unsettled Through Recent Death
Very Feeble
Watchmaker Master (No Hands)

I suggest these title are use in lieu of the 'super poster' etc. appellations.

oracleslave
15th April 2008, 14:13
SAP always pays for itself within 6 months of implementation

:laugh

Diestl
15th April 2008, 14:13
Director of Operations at BA (Terminal 5) opening there, can't screw up more than the previous guy.

VectraMan
15th April 2008, 14:16
I predict there'll be an oppurtunity as leader of the Labour Party.

PAH
15th April 2008, 14:16
Bailiff?

I have a mate who works as a bailiff when there's a downturn and a bouncer when an upturn.

I'll have to check if he's changing back (currently a bouncer) to a bailiff. It's a similar observation as restaurants are busy in an upturn and takeaways busier in a downturn.

Francko
15th April 2008, 14:18
:eek
I think you mean "toot toot":laugh
I guess you're right - but that would fall under my BI category I think.

SAP !=BI

maaaaaan, you are really getting deep into this management bulltulip...

tut tut - a la francais ...

sasguru
15th April 2008, 14:20
:eek

SAP !=BI

...

Wrong as usual. What's your definition of BI?

Xenophon
15th April 2008, 14:21
Wrong as usual. What's your definition of BI?

Dur! Someone who enjoys intimate relations with both men and women.

DimPrawn
15th April 2008, 14:21
Wrong as usual. What's your definition of BI?

Capn Jack

HTH

oracleslave
15th April 2008, 14:21
I think you mean "toot toot":laugh
I guess you're right - but that would fall under my BI category I think.

There are a couple of business processes, transactions, accounting etc etc that take place in an ERP system before your datawarehouse gets to know about it.

sasguru
15th April 2008, 14:25
There are a couple of business processes, transactions, accounting etc etc that take place in an ERP system before your datawarehouse gets to know about it.

I'd still class that as low-level BI - it's the raw material that you need to crunch.

oracleslave
15th April 2008, 14:41
I'd still class that as low-level BI - it's the raw material that you need to crunch.

True in a way, but you are classing something that is much larger than just BI in a very small category, i.e BI is only one element of a larger arena and not the other way around.

sasguru
15th April 2008, 14:47
True in a way, but you are classing something that is much larger than just BI in a very small category, i.e BI is only one element of a larger arena and not the other way around.

True enough.

Jog On
15th April 2008, 14:47
Hairdressing?

Web dev - people will always need websites like they need their hair cutting.

Similar levels of remuneration too.

Internet marketing/SEO services to go with that :glasses

Churchill
15th April 2008, 14:55
There is no recession in the SAP *tut-tut* groovy train.

<toot><toot> you illiterate wop!

DiscoStu
15th April 2008, 14:59
SAP always pays for itself within 6 months of implementation

Comedian?

bogeyman
15th April 2008, 15:05
SAP always pays for itself within 6 months of implementation

So does putting a brick in the toilet cistern if you're on a water meter.

hyperD
15th April 2008, 15:09
So does putting a brick in the toilet cistern if you're on a water meter.

I always find laying a brick in the bowl to be the preferred method. Your way tends to reduce the number of dinner parties I'm invited back to.

Lucy
15th April 2008, 15:23
Counsellor:D

Churchill
15th April 2008, 16:08
Counsellor:D

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

Lucy
15th April 2008, 16:10
Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

yes, it will be just like the lunatics running the asylum:banana::banana:

Cliphead
15th April 2008, 17:13
Busker

Clippy
15th April 2008, 18:23
Answering the original question:

CUK village idiot

Seems to weather all storms - economic, political etc.

However, the present incumbent, HRH, seems to have made the role his own in a remarkably short space of time and looks like he will be resident for a prolonged period.

DiscoStu
15th April 2008, 18:41
Answering the original question:

CUK village idiot

Seems to weather all storms - economic, political etc.

However, the present incumbent, HRH, seems to have made the role his own in a remarkably short space of time and looks like he will be resident for a prolonged period.

I'm sure he'll do something ban-worthy sooner or later.

Fingers crossed...

BrilloPad
15th April 2008, 18:58
Answering the original question:

CUK village idiot

Seems to weather all storms - economic, political etc.

However, the present incumbent, HRH, seems to have made the role his own in a remarkably short space of time and looks like he will be resident for a prolonged period.

I thought it was Wilmslow?

BrilloPad
15th April 2008, 18:59
I'm sure he'll do something ban-worthy sooner or later.

Fingers crossed...

Give over - you love it. And I reckon you are HRHisafelchlord...

threaded
15th April 2008, 19:07
One of my mates had to get a head out of the underpinnings of a diesel train once.

I don't think he enjoyed it much.

Ooohhh, I remember that, they used to do it at The Plant in Doncaster. If it weren't, it may well be a different head. Apparently heads tended to end up in there on Deltics for some obscure reason.

thunderlizard
15th April 2008, 19:28
It's a similar observation as restaurants are busy in an upturn and takeaways busier in a downturn.

Odd..I'd have thought in an upturn, people are too busy for the full sit-down option and go for the takeaway instead.

hang on...you're right. The first casualty of recession is the expenses account.

KackAttack
15th April 2008, 19:57
Gordon's PR agent

NotAllThere
16th April 2008, 08:49
I think you mean "toot toot":laugh
I guess you're right - but that would fall under my BI category I think.

I do SAP BI, and SAP HR. Both are "toot toot". Especially since HR at one of my clients has been centralised in order to save money in these difficult times. Other clients have laid off a proportion of their permanent staff, and so the middle managers are crying out for contractors, as the work needs doing, and contractors aren't headcount.

EternalOptimist
16th April 2008, 10:12
One of my mates had to get a head out of the underpinnings of a diesel train once.

I don't think he enjoyed it much.

They can be very dangerous. I was told once that if I stood too close to the edge of the platform I might get sucked off.
I went back every night for a month and never got any action, but I nearly got killed about a dozen times.



:rolleyes:

oracleslave
16th April 2008, 10:56
They can be very dangerous. I was told once that if I stood too close to the edge of the platform I might get sucked off.
I went back every night for a month and never got any action, but I nearly got killed about a dozen times.



:rolleyes:

:laugh :laugh

AlfredJPruffock
16th April 2008, 14:05
Has anyone given serious thought to Undertaking - seems to be recession proof - I think you can now open one up franchise style but unsure as to whetther one needs qualifications - Gity and Guilds perhaps - is a sector which could do with some competition ie Pruffocks Happy Stiffs Special offers - two for the price of one - will better any of out competitors quotes - book early for massive discounts - etc

oracleslave
16th April 2008, 14:09
Has anyone given serious thought to Undertaking - seems to be recession proof - I think you can now open one up franchise style but unsure as to whetther one needs qualifications - Gity and Guilds perhaps - is a sector which could do with some competition ie Pruffocks Happy Stiffs Special offers - two for the price of one - will better any of out competitors quotes - book early for massive discounts - etc

Indeed, an undertaker is the last person to 'let you down'.

igmc

Diver
16th April 2008, 14:35
Big Issue seller?

No! I'm not winding you up Bogey :devil :D :wink

bogeyman
16th April 2008, 14:38
Big Issue seller?

No! I'm not winding you up Bogey :devil :D :wink

Gulag for you!

Diver
16th April 2008, 14:39
Gulag for you!

AtW made me!!!! :D

PAH
16th April 2008, 14:43
AtW made me!!!! :D

:bluelight

AtW bot alert.

DiscoStu
16th April 2008, 15:31
I'll just go back to the SAS if the contracting dries up, there's a secret mission they want me on.

HRH