Denied the pleasure of beating up a couple of burglars

[PAH]

Woke up at 4am to the sound of someone having a go at my side gate. It's got a very squeeky bolt, it pays to be lazy with the lubrication in this case!

Go downstairs to see a couple of scrotes holding a flashlight to the lock on my patio door at the back of the house. Was almost laughing at their amateurishness as I put on the main light to see them stunned like rabbits on a B road, before deciding they'd better leg it.

Strangely I wasn't scared at all, more disappointed I didn't do things differently to try to catch them or at least a photo of them to hand to the rozzers.

Maybe I'll wait till they're in the house next time, make it more interesting.

[DimPrawn]

I'm sorry you are telling fibs.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7364467.stm

HTH

[Epiphone]

it pays to be lazy with the lubrication in this case!

<insert smut overload>

[Xenophon]

Woke up at 4am to the sound of someone having a go at my side gate. It's got a very squeeky bolt, it pays to be lazy with the lubrication in this case!

Go downstairs to see a couple of scrotes holding a flashlight to the lock on my patio door at the back of the house. Was almost laughing at their amateurishness as I put on the main light to see them stunned like rabbits on a B road, before deciding they'd better leg it.

Strangely I wasn't scared at all, more disappointed I didn't do things differently to try to catch them or at least a photo of them to hand to the rozzers.

Maybe I'll wait till they're in the house next time, make it more interesting.

Sounds like a couple of scumbag chancers, PAH.

My pooch means no-one in their right mind would break in to Xeno Towers. He is a complete and utter softie, but he looks like a tank with a big gob and that is the deterrent.

[TimberWolf]

I'm sorry you are telling fibs.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7364467.stm

HTH

Nope, the article refers to "recorded crime", which is indeed going down, it's only unrecorded crime which is going up.

[Ruprect]

Next time I recommend getting a cleaver from the kitchen and waving it at them whilst grinning manically. They may even kack themselves.

[PAH]

Next time I recommend getting a cleaver from the kitchen and waving it at them whilst grinning manically. They may even kack themselves.

That thought has crossed my mind. Got a nice big carving knife that will do till the chainsaw arrives.

Hope the ***** come back, it'll be fun doing a leatherface chasing them down the street with a chainsaw. On second thoughts it would be more like that scene in American Psycho seeing as I sleep naked.

[PAH]

Sounds like a couple of scumbag chancers, PAH.

That's what I thought, seeing as they've done a very amateurish attempt. Seems that they don't even know how to pick a lock as there are chisel marks around the door handle.

I've a feeling they were after my car, breaking in for the keys, seeing as they parked out of sight a fair way away around the corner in what sounded like a normal car rather than diesel van.

Maybe my paranoia that I've been followed home a couple of times in recent weeks isn't that misplaced. Or the dodgy gits that sorted out a new tyre last week have passed on my address. I thought afterwards it was the wrong thing to do to give them my real address, seeing as they didn't really need it.

[hyperD]

Maybe my paranoia that I've been followed home a couple of times in recent weeks isn't that misplaced. Or the dodgy gits that sorted out a new tyre last week have passed on my address. I thought afterwards it was the wrong thing to do to give them my real address, seeing as they didn't really need it.

Yes, it's entirely plausible.

I got followed in my TVR last year - just clocked a silver Fiesta in the corner of my eye u-turn and speed after me. It then followed me at a distance all the way home.

I drove into another road near my house and drove up someone's drive and got out the car, pretending to walk in the front house. I then looked around to see 2 chavs looking out and rather than giving the usual "nice car mate", they simply roared off down the road.

Probably nothing, but I'm glad I did it.

I think if anyone broke into my home, I'd introduce them to my Global chefs knives, sharpish.

[PAH]

I think if anyone broke into my home, I'd introduce them to my Global chefs knives, sharpish.

That reminds me. My brother has a set of unused chef knives (in some poncy aluminium case) in my parents loft. About time they earned their keep.