• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
  • Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!

Got my day one checklist to complete....

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Got my day one checklist to complete....

    Cannot wait for the BOOM times to come back. If they ever will.....

    On the plus side, got a £1300 course signed off

    #2
    please giove us the full details of your day one checklist.

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by BrilloPad View Post
      please giove us the full details of your day one checklist.
      This is document one out of 4.....

      Photograph Taken
      Car park form completed
      Tour of building (meeting room, 1st Aid room, Canteen)
      Fire exits
      Issue of access card &understanding its use, including girovend.
      Meet the team
      Log onto systems
      Local practices (coats, cups & food)
      Welcome meeting organised
      Work station assessment completed & returned to personnel.
      E-mail, Internet & Communications policy complete.

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by Wilmslow View Post
        This is document one out of 4.....
        There is more?

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by Wilmslow View Post
          This is document one out of 4.....

          E-mail, Internet & Communications policy complete.
          Once you've signed that I guess you won't be visiting here again during working hours, unless it's a very generous Internet use policy (unlikely).
          If you find this post offensive, please insert "Chan" before and "tho" after, then it should be OK.

          Sometimes I almost feel just like a human being - Elvis Costello

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by Chantho View Post
            Once you've signed that I guess you won't be visiting here again during working hours, unless it's a very generous Internet use policy (unlikely).
            I had to sign one of those - no-one has stopped me posting on cuk - yet. Though I would probably leave if I was stopped...

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by Wilmslow View Post
              Photograph Taken
              Remember to look like a psycho as it will be on the intranet for the entire company to laugh at.

              Car park form completed
              Permission to park granted?

              Tour of building (meeting room, 1st Aid room, Canteen)
              Note, find quietest place(s) suitable for sleeping.

              Fire exits
              Needed when slipping out for a crafty ciggy.

              Issue of access card &understanding its use, including girovend.
              Big brother is watching your movements and junk food consumption.

              Meet the team
              Meet the layabouts.

              Log onto systems
              This is where you find your account isn't enabled yet and fail.

              Local practices (coats, cups & food)
              What about your power rangers lunchbox?

              Welcome meeting organised
              Start as you mean to go on (you can never have too many meetings as a permie).

              Work station assessment completed & returned to personnel.
              Yep, we know the keyboard is fook*d and full of coffee. We'll replace it when we replace you.

              E-mail, Internet & Communications policy complete.
              Don't use the internet even during working hours, or else.
              Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by Wilmslow View Post
                This is document one out of 4.....

                Photograph Taken
                Car park form completed
                Tour of building (meeting room, 1st Aid room, Canteen)
                Fire exits
                Issue of access card &understanding its use, including girovend.
                Meet the team
                Log onto systems
                Local practices (coats, cups & food)
                Welcome meeting organised
                Work station assessment completed & returned to personnel.
                E-mail, Internet & Communications policy complete.
                Woo hoo!

                How exciting!!!

                Meet the team! I do hope they are all nice and friendly.

                Tour the building! I wonder what colour the carpet is in accounts! And what brand of coffee the vending machine sell!!!

                Oooooooooo so excited now!!!.

                Got to go!!

                Bye!!!


                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by DimPrawn View Post
                  And what brand of coffee the vending machine sell!!!
                  This is important, a few of my gigs have been miserable due to tulipty Flavia coffee machines.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by smiff View Post
                    This is important, a few of my gigs have been miserable due to tulipty Flavia coffee machines.
                    Just bring in your own machine.
                    Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

                    Comment

                    Working...
                    X