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Real Men and Sex in the City

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    Real Men and Sex in the City

    In the mail today, I happily admit to agreeing with every question except the one that asks about marriage signs because I am already there:

    1. Your mind is uncluttered. Consider the female brain, filled as it is with multiple anxieties about its owner's hair, figure, health, diet, clothes, shoes, emotions, digestive transit, sex life, competitive female friendships, multi-tasking duties as a worker/lover/ wife/mother/whatever.

    Instead, your mind is focused on the important things in life: sex, beer, football. Women secretly envy a mind like that.

    2. You can make decisions on your own. You don't need to talk it over for hours with all your friends, or consult a horoscope, or worry about feng shui.


    3. You have strong arms which come in handy whenever bottles need opening, cases need carrying, or a girl just feels like gazing at a strong, muscular limb.




    4. You do not clutter up the bathroom. No woman wants a man who owns more beauty products than she does. A man who showers, shaves, then gets out of the way is ideal.



    How to treat a lady

    1. When on a date, you pay - even if she offers. Don't stand for any nonsense about going Dutch. And pay in cash - retrosexuals don't use credit cards.


    2. You open doors for women, and you stand for pregnant women on a bus, train or Tube. You do this because you are a man, and you're proud of it.


    3. You do not cook anything more sophisticated than Pot Noodles or baked beans. Cooking is her job. But when you have a Sunday roast - and you do, obviously - you carve with manly precision and flair.


    4. Women like to talk, bless them. So don't try to stop her getting her feelings off her chest, however daft they might be. There's no need to actually listen, however. Nor does she expect, or even want you to express an opinion of your own. A nod of the head, roughly every 90 seconds, combined with a concerned frown, or a cheery laugh, where appropriate, is perfectly sufficient.



    Sex and the City: But real men should avoid it like the plague

    5. Of course, you want to have sex. Afterwards, however, it is important to avoid saying 'I love you' or 'I'm sorry, that's never happened before'.


    6. She may be interested in commitment. You are not. It is vitally important that you never even acknowledge the possibility that you are in a relationship. The moment she uses a sentence that includes words such as 'wedding', 'children', or 'meet my parents', make your excuses and leave.


    7. No woman ever comes between you and live TV football. Only a very special woman will come between you and the edited highlights on Match Of The Day.


    8. There is no woman on Earth for whom you will go to see Sex And The City - The Movie.

    More retrosexual setail:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...trosexual.html

    which one are you?
    11
    Yep that's me 100%
    45.45%
    5
    I'm a girl so my opinion is not important
    0.00%
    0
    No, I am a complete mysogynistic chauvanist
    27.27%
    3
    Not me at all, I am one of those "new men" wusses
    27.27%
    3

    The poll is expired.

    Last edited by DodgyAgent; 30 May 2008, 18:47. Reason: embellishment
    Let us not forget EU open doors immigration benefits IT contractors more than anyone

    #2
    Originally posted by DodgyAgent View Post
    In the mail today, .. 3. You do not cook anything more sophisticated than Pot Noodles or baked beans. Cooking is her job. But when you have a Sunday roast - and you do, obviously - you carve with manly precision and flair.
    This Daily Mail, Dodgy, was it one from the '50s you found under the old underlay when you were laying a new carpet?

    How many families have roast beef and Yorkshire pud on a sunday these days, with the paterfamilias jealously guarding his right to carve ?

    Also, most women I know loathe football as much as me. Some women these days pretend to like it, as a pretext to hang out with the lads; but I refuse to believe they really do, unless maybe it's Aussies playing in skimpy shorts.
    Last edited by OwlHoot; 30 May 2008, 19:50.
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    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by OwlHoot View Post
      How many families have roast beef and Yorkshire pud on a sunday these days, with the paterfamilias jealously guarding his right to carve ?
      They do. We do in my house.

      Hang on a minute, I cook it aswell. Perhaps he has a point.

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by OwlHoot View Post

        Also, most women I know loathe football as much as me. Some women these days pretend to like it, as a pretext to hang out with the lads; but I refuse to believe they really do, unless maybe it's Aussies playing in skimpy shorts.
        gawk at fit men in shorts and talk over the game.

        The men you watch the footie with will have beer bellies and won't respond to you anyway.
        "You’re just a bad memory who doesn’t know when to go away" JR

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by OwlHoot View Post
          This Daily Mail, Dodgy, was it one from the '50s you found under the old underlay when you were laying a new carpet?

          How many families have roast beef and Yorkshire pud on a sunday these days, with the paterfamilias jealously guarding his right to carve ?

          Also, most women I know loathe football as much as me. Some women these days pretend to like it, as a pretext to hang out with the lads; but I refuse to believe they really do, unless maybe it's Aussies playing in skimpy shorts.

          It doesnt have to actually be football. Today's Mail fresh off the press
          Let us not forget EU open doors immigration benefits IT contractors more than anyone

          Comment


            #6
            No, I am a complete mysogynistic chauvanist
            But you all knew that anyway.
            Last edited by Churchill; 1 June 2008, 08:10.

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