From another post :
Now THAT would be an uber-kewl duvet cover !
Imagine being encapsulated by all the protocols every night.
DNS : One of the "sex protocols". Much appreciated by women, in assisting their partner's hunt to the elusive clitoris.
TFTP : Another "sex protocol" (uses port 69). Ideal for the transfer of liquids between orifii.
TSL/SSL : Sex Protocol again. Prevents "eavesdropping". Very useful when you have the inlaws sleeping in the next room, and you want to engage in clandestine and quiet rumpy-pumpy.
FTP : Also known as the "Duvet Snatching Protocol". Mrs BGG is especially well versed in this area.
Gopher : This protocol is used when the alarm clock, telephone or front door goes, and somebody has to get up and answer it.
HTTP : Used for reading mucky web pages in bed on your wifi laptop.
IMAP : When one partner is out of bed, IMAP is used to shout out to them asking for a cup of tea.
IRC : Also known as "pillow talk".
NNTP : See POP3.
POP3 : The "fart" protocol. Depending on the severity of the aroma, NNTP (as a broadcast protocol) will sometimes kick in, getting the originator in to trouble.
SIP : Another "sex protocol". Used to signal "lavicious intent"
SMTP : A very common communication protocol, used when having just woken up, when language is restricted to simple grunts.
SNMP : Also a "sex protocol". Used to monitor equipment that may be failing or being used inappropriately, eg "Is it in ?" or "It's in the wrong fething hole".
SECURE SHELL : Yup. You guessed it. This one is part of the "coitus" application layer and ensures "data" is exchanged using a "secure channel" between two users. No spillage !
TELNET : Often used in the middle of the night, when you need to get up and briefly login to the loo.
ECHO : Used to check if your partner is responsive, or indeed, even alive for that matter.
RTP : On a technical level, RTP provides :
Payload-type identification - Indication of what kind of content is being carried
Time stamping - allow synchronization and jitter calculations
Delivery monitoring
Believe me when I say "Jitter" can be bad...
PNRP : This is used to make sure you don't call your current partner the name of your ex-partner whilst en flagrante.
RLOGIN : Use this to connect to another host. Popular with swingers.
ENRP : No one has figured out what this is for yet.
Do you remember the drawing I made of a protocol stack and the various layers?
Now THAT would be an uber-kewl duvet cover !
Imagine being encapsulated by all the protocols every night.
DNS : One of the "sex protocols". Much appreciated by women, in assisting their partner's hunt to the elusive clitoris.
TFTP : Another "sex protocol" (uses port 69). Ideal for the transfer of liquids between orifii.
TSL/SSL : Sex Protocol again. Prevents "eavesdropping". Very useful when you have the inlaws sleeping in the next room, and you want to engage in clandestine and quiet rumpy-pumpy.
FTP : Also known as the "Duvet Snatching Protocol". Mrs BGG is especially well versed in this area.
Gopher : This protocol is used when the alarm clock, telephone or front door goes, and somebody has to get up and answer it.
HTTP : Used for reading mucky web pages in bed on your wifi laptop.
IMAP : When one partner is out of bed, IMAP is used to shout out to them asking for a cup of tea.
IRC : Also known as "pillow talk".
NNTP : See POP3.
POP3 : The "fart" protocol. Depending on the severity of the aroma, NNTP (as a broadcast protocol) will sometimes kick in, getting the originator in to trouble.
SIP : Another "sex protocol". Used to signal "lavicious intent"
SMTP : A very common communication protocol, used when having just woken up, when language is restricted to simple grunts.
SNMP : Also a "sex protocol". Used to monitor equipment that may be failing or being used inappropriately, eg "Is it in ?" or "It's in the wrong fething hole".
SECURE SHELL : Yup. You guessed it. This one is part of the "coitus" application layer and ensures "data" is exchanged using a "secure channel" between two users. No spillage !
TELNET : Often used in the middle of the night, when you need to get up and briefly login to the loo.
ECHO : Used to check if your partner is responsive, or indeed, even alive for that matter.
RTP : On a technical level, RTP provides :
Payload-type identification - Indication of what kind of content is being carried
Time stamping - allow synchronization and jitter calculations
Delivery monitoring
Believe me when I say "Jitter" can be bad...
PNRP : This is used to make sure you don't call your current partner the name of your ex-partner whilst en flagrante.
RLOGIN : Use this to connect to another host. Popular with swingers.
ENRP : No one has figured out what this is for yet.
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