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xoggoth
23rd August 2005, 08:21
I have never been convinced by natural selection. Anything that confers an immediate advantage, fine, I can see that how that selects, but some adaptations are only of significant benefit after many millions of years, how did that help the first indivduals? I have therefore been conducting my usual extensive and painstaking research and have come up with a theory that works for all adaptations.

Fashion. Elephants evolved long trunks because for several epochs, having a long nose was the in thing. Individuals with short noses were thought to look nerdy by the females and therefore never got to mate.

wendigo100
23rd August 2005, 08:31
Fashion. Elephants evolved long trunks because for several epochs, having a long nose was the in thing. Individuals with short noses were thought to look nerdy by the females and therefore never got to mate.
Also, back in caveman days elephants with short trunks were very slow at picking up buns. Unless they dived face-first into the ground.

n5gooner
23rd August 2005, 08:47
so what are .net monkeys going to develop into ???

:confused:

EternalOptimist
23rd August 2005, 08:47
Elephants evolved long tusks so they could stab giraffes and other predators but then they couldnt reach stuff they had to have longer trunks,
This is called Cyclical-Dependancy evolutionary theory.

PRC1964
23rd August 2005, 08:48
Don't forget that a long prehensile nose can reach those sensitive bits between your legs. Though too much time spent playing with yourself may not be good for the creation of new elepahnts.

Jabberwocky
23rd August 2005, 08:53
>so what are .net monkeys going to develop into ???

Spaghetti

datestamp
23rd August 2005, 08:56
Excellent theory Xog. Spot on. Also it has been suggested that early elephants developed an interest in playing the jazz trumpet. This has never been proved.

:banana:

n5gooner
23rd August 2005, 08:57
good I understand now .........:confused:

The Lone Gunman
23rd August 2005, 09:00
Which would explain why very few examples of the mammoth with flared trunk, platform soled feet and wide wing tip ears have been found outside a very specific era.

EternalOptimist
23rd August 2005, 09:03
One of the main problems with evolution has been trying to understand how birds ever got to fly.
Its obvious now that they dont actually fly at all , its just that God doesnt push down on them so hard. Thats fair

n5gooner
23rd August 2005, 09:03
do they fly with their ears as well ..... :banana:

Lucifer Box
23rd August 2005, 09:06
Don't forget that a long prehensile nose can reach those sensitive bits between your legs. Though too much time spent playing with yourself may not be good for the creation of new elepahnts.
I bet Xog is a world expert on playing with elephants. While WageSlave watches. Then Zeitghost eats them all. http://forums.contractoruk.com/images/smilies/extras/2.gif

WageSlave
23rd August 2005, 09:22
I bet Xog is a world expert on playing with elephants. While WageSlave watches. Then Zeitghost eats them all. http://forums.contractoruk.com/images/smilies/extras/2.gif

Quite right, Lucifer. There's nothing I enjoy more than being gobbled.

Lucifer Box
23rd August 2005, 09:57
Quite right, Lucifer. There's nothing I enjoy more than being gobbled.
Leave turkeys out of it, that's beyond the pail.

n5gooner
23rd August 2005, 10:00
not so much the turkeys you have to watch out for but hte cocks, there the ones that would make your eyes water !;)

WageSlave
23rd August 2005, 10:04
Leave turkeys out of it, that's beyond the pail.

It's the black feathers...reminds me of Berlin cabaret. Women in black stockings, feather boas, long gloves....brrrrr....

n5gooner
23rd August 2005, 10:05
more more more.......... :o

The Lone Gunman
23rd August 2005, 10:47
more more more.......... :oNo stop it, I have to work today....................... shit too late...................excuse me.

WageSlave
23rd August 2005, 10:48
shit too late.

Try prune juice. Works a treat.

HTH

Lucifer Box
23rd August 2005, 10:58
more more more.......... :o
Gooner, it's another long, long year until the next set of A-level results.

http://www.warkscol.ac.uk/library/images/photos/leamington-student-A-levels.jpg

n5gooner
23rd August 2005, 11:38
yep while the results are up - so am I so keep it comming....:D

The Lone Gunman
23rd August 2005, 11:47
Gooner, it's another long, long year until the next set of A-level results.

http://www.warkscol.ac.uk/library/images/photos/leamington-student-A-levels.jpgHmmmmmmmmmm studying mechanics..............ooooooooooooohhhh covered in oil.......aaaaahhhhh wrench in hand........whoooooaaaaaaaa bent over engine........excuse me again

WageSlave
23rd August 2005, 12:04
Women studying mechanics? Office totty concerned with football? It's not normal!

Lucifer Box
23rd August 2005, 12:17
Women studying mechanics? Office totty concerned with football? It's not normal!
Before we know it, we'll have cats living with dogs and that's the road to anarchy that is.

In the meantime, here are a few more brainy chicks for n5gooner, basking in their ever improving A-level results. Judging by the amount of touching going on, you could always imagine they will shortly be off to celebrate in more intimate surroundings. That might help to pass the afternoon.

http://www.gdst.net/ipswichhigh/a_level.JPG

WageSlave
23rd August 2005, 12:21
Before we know it, we'll have cats living with dogs and that's the road to anarchy that is.

In the meantime, here are a few more brainy chicks for n5gooner, basking in their ever improving A-level results. Judging by the amount of touching going on, you could always imagine they will shortly be off to celebrate in more intimate surroundings. That might help to pass the afternoon.

http://www.gdst.net/ipswichhigh/a_level.JPG

Mmmmm....the third from right with green and white top isn't bad....so young and pure....stop it!....still, two years, two years....

WageSlave
23rd August 2005, 12:23
Before we know it, we'll have cats living with dogs and that's the road to anarchy that is.


Cats living with dogs is fine. But women....damn their cushions, shoes and iced buns! Damn them to hell, I say :tantrum:

Lucifer Box
23rd August 2005, 12:26
Mmmmm....the third from right with green and white top isn't bad....so young and pure....stop it!....still, two years, two years....
What happens in two years? Is that when your entry on the sex offenders' register expires?

n5gooner
23rd August 2005, 12:33
no that’s when he has enough experience to be able to use it to any satisfaction. :rollin:

WageSlave
23rd August 2005, 12:34
What happens in two years? Is that when your entry on the sex offenders' register expires?

What happens? Just call me Guv'nor :rollin:

I'm not on the register...fortunately they haven't caught the nappy wearing pest :music:

Guv
23rd August 2005, 12:59
What happens in two years?

<Rubs wrist> two years....two years....

n5gooner
23rd August 2005, 17:39
its the plastic cuffs that do it, no noise you see....no clink...clink..clink.clink...arrr thats better.......

:spank: