14th Oct 2008
The highly regarded Washington Think Tank, PANIC (Predicting Another National or International Crisis) had revealed its latest report on the current Global Crisis engulfing the world.
Whilst the current Global Crisis is still raging strong across the world, analysts predict at PANIC that there is another Global Crisis looming just around the next corner.
This new Global Crisis will be much more dangerous than the current Global Crisis, and analysts predict that every man, woman, child and beast needs to be extra-worried because this new Global Crisis will dwarf the current Global Crisis by a magnitude of 10.
PANIC has issued a warning to world leaders and government that there is no need to panic, however it would be wise to ensure that every man, woman and child is fully prepared for the oncoming Global Crisis, lest they face complete and utter annihilation.
PANIC are in the process of authoring a number of "DO NOT PANIC" documents, which they hope to deliver to the homes of every man, woman and child, telling them not to panic when the imminent Global Crisis strikes and completely destroys their livelihoods and communities.
It is anticipated that these documents will be distributed before the Global Crisis strikes, which it may do without warning, at any time, even before you may finish reading this very sentence. However, PANIC are having problems with their printers who cannot handle the vast volume of public address sheets.
PANIC have issued temporary guidelines on what to do, should the new Crisis, which they have called "Final Armageddon" arrives.
1. Don't panic.
2. Don't panic PANIC.
3. PANIC will not panic.
4. Find somewere safe and hide there.
5. Carry on as normal when it's all over unless 6 occurs.
6. The earth is a greasy stain in space.
So there we have it.
Guidance from the experts that there really is nothing to worry about, at least not with the current Global Crisis. However the next one is going to be a real doozy.
Good Luck and Good Night.
The highly regarded Washington Think Tank, PANIC (Predicting Another National or International Crisis) had revealed its latest report on the current Global Crisis engulfing the world.
Whilst the current Global Crisis is still raging strong across the world, analysts predict at PANIC that there is another Global Crisis looming just around the next corner.
This new Global Crisis will be much more dangerous than the current Global Crisis, and analysts predict that every man, woman, child and beast needs to be extra-worried because this new Global Crisis will dwarf the current Global Crisis by a magnitude of 10.
PANIC has issued a warning to world leaders and government that there is no need to panic, however it would be wise to ensure that every man, woman and child is fully prepared for the oncoming Global Crisis, lest they face complete and utter annihilation.
PANIC are in the process of authoring a number of "DO NOT PANIC" documents, which they hope to deliver to the homes of every man, woman and child, telling them not to panic when the imminent Global Crisis strikes and completely destroys their livelihoods and communities.
It is anticipated that these documents will be distributed before the Global Crisis strikes, which it may do without warning, at any time, even before you may finish reading this very sentence. However, PANIC are having problems with their printers who cannot handle the vast volume of public address sheets.
PANIC have issued temporary guidelines on what to do, should the new Crisis, which they have called "Final Armageddon" arrives.
1. Don't panic.
2. Don't panic PANIC.
3. PANIC will not panic.
4. Find somewere safe and hide there.
5. Carry on as normal when it's all over unless 6 occurs.
6. The earth is a greasy stain in space.
So there we have it.
Guidance from the experts that there really is nothing to worry about, at least not with the current Global Crisis. However the next one is going to be a real doozy.
Good Luck and Good Night.
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