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Idiots guide to the stock market.

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    Idiots guide to the stock market.

    Once upon a time, in a village, a man appeared and announced to the
    villagers that he would buy monkeys for £10 each. The villagers, seeing
    that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started
    catching them. The man bought thousands at £10 and, as supply started to
    diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he
    would now buy at £20 for a monkey.

    This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys
    again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back
    to their farms. The offer increased to £25 each, and the supply of monkeys
    became so small that it was an effort to even find a monkey, let alone catch
    it! The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at £50!

    However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant
    would now buy on behalf of him. In the absence of the man, the assistant
    told the villagers. 'Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man
    has collected. I will sell them to you at £35, and when the man returns from
    the city, you can sell them to him for £50 each.'

    The villagers rounded up all their savings, took out loans and borrowed from
    the banks and bought all the monkeys.

    They never saw the man nor his assistant again, only monkeys everywhere!


    Now you have a better understanding of how the stock market works.!!!!!



    PS. The last capitalist we hang shall be the one who sold us the rope.
    I am not qualified to give the above advice!

    The original point and click interface by
    Smith and Wesson.

    Step back, have a think and adjust my own own attitude from time to time

    #2
    How the bail out works. Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a Donkey from a farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the Donkey the next day.
    The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad News, the donkey died.' Chuck replied, 'Well, then just give me my money back.' The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I went and spent it already.' Chuck said, 'Ok, then, just bring me the dead donkey.' The farmer asked, 'What ya gonna do with him? Chuck said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.' The farmer said You can't raffle off a dead donkey!' Chuck said, 'Sure I can Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.' A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, 'What happened with that dead donkey?' Chuck said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $998.' The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?' Chuck said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.' Chuck now works for Goldman Sachs.
    Hang on - there is actually a place called Cheddar?? - cailin maith

    Any forum is a collection of assorted weirdos, cranks and pervs - Board Game Geek

    That will be a simply fab time to catch up for a beer. - Tay

    Have you ever seen somebody lick the chutney spoon in an Indian Restaurant and put it back ? - Cyberghoul

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by snaw View Post
      Chuck said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $998.' The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?' Chuck said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.' Chuck now works for Goldman Sachs.
      Nice.
      Originally posted by MaryPoppins
      I'd still not breastfeed a nazi
      Originally posted by vetran
      Urine is quite nourishing

      Comment


        #4
        Me. I'm the idiot's guide to investing. Piled into commodity (mining) stocks yesterday:

        "Mining stocks “had their worst day for 20 years”, said the FT"

        F**k.
        Bored.

        Comment


          #5
          Thought that donkey story sounded familiar

          http://forums.contractoruk.com/gener...tml#post613296

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by ace00 View Post
            Me. I'm the idiot's guide to investing. Piled into commodity (mining) stocks yesterday:

            "Mining stocks “had their worst day for 20 years”, said the FT"

            F**k.
            I had a lucky escape, dithered and didn't do it. Bought some today though

            Fund manager matey thinks they might be a good punt.

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by ace00 View Post
              Me. I'm the idiot's guide to investing. Piled into commodity (mining) stocks yesterday:

              "Mining stocks “had their worst day for 20 years”, said the FT"

              F**k.
              Got any other tips? So I can do the opposite......

              Comment


                #8
                ... and has anybody heard about the scam with 'corked' wine ?

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by BrilloPad View Post
                  Got any other tips? So I can do the opposite......
                  I bet on Mcain to win the US election about a month ago.
                  Bored.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by ace00 View Post
                    I bet on Mcain to win the US election about a month ago.
                    A winner whatever the outcome...
                    B00med!

                    Comment

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