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tay
24th October 2008, 09:58
Q - Will SKA ever be finished?

DiscoStu
24th October 2008, 10:32
A - Yes, at about the same time I get that £2000 a day gig.

Q - How long will the doom last?

foritisme
24th October 2008, 10:35
Q - How long will the doom last?[/QUOTE]

A - It will be over when the fat lady sings




Q - If a woman was in a forest all on her own, would she still make a noise ?

Spacecadet
24th October 2008, 10:36
Q - If a woman was in a forest all on her own, would she still make a noise ?

yes
Eww wet leaves
Eww spider
Ewww mud
Etc...

What does threaded actually look like?

snaw
24th October 2008, 10:37
Q - If a woman was in a forest all on her own, would she still make a noise?

A. Depends on whether or not she was using one hand to clap!

Q. Will AtW ever get some action?

Chugnut
24th October 2008, 10:40
yes
Eww wet leaves
Eww spider
Ewww mud
Etc...

What does threaded actually look like?

A. Jabba the Hutt's stunt double.

Q. Why don't you see white dog poo anymore?

chef
24th October 2008, 10:48
A: because chalk boards are no longer in fashion at schools..

Q: what goes well with pot noodle other than a wink?

Moscow Mule
24th October 2008, 10:50
A: Gastric enteritis

Q: What's the Queen's middle name?

tay
24th October 2008, 10:53
Q: What's the Queen's middle name?

A - Alexandra Mary

Q - What should I have for lunch?

Jog On
24th October 2008, 10:56
-A beer

-Q how much work have you done today?

Pondlife
24th October 2008, 10:57
A - Alexandra Mary

Q - What should I have for lunch?

A - The same thing you had for dinner last night, just microwaved.

Q - What's the best cure for a hangover?

snaw
24th October 2008, 10:58
Q - What's the best cure for a hangover?

A. Get back on it!

Q. Who'd win - bruce lee or chuck norris?

Chugnut
24th October 2008, 11:03
Q - What's the best cure for a hangover?

A. Get back on it!

Q. Who'd win - bruce lee or chuck norris?

A. If they were both alive, Bruce.

Q. Should Orange Juice be smooth or have bits in it?

BrianSnail
24th October 2008, 11:05
Q. Should Orange Juice be smooth or have bits in it?

A. Smooth

Q. Should women be smooth or have bits down there?

AlanR
24th October 2008, 11:08
A. Smooth

Q. Should women be smooth or have bits down there?

A. Smooth

Q. Has anybody ever seen a new ice cream van or do they come off the production line looking 10 years old?

Chugnut
24th October 2008, 11:08
A. Smooth

Q. Should women be smooth or have bits down there?

A. No-one likes a full fruitbowl avec pant beard, so smooth.

Q. When was the last time you cried?

Spacecadet
24th October 2008, 11:29
Q. Has anybody ever seen a new ice cream van or do they come off the production line looking 10 years old?

Yes, I saw one last weekend, an 08 plate!

Will TPD become the largest internet forum thread ever?

wobbegong
24th October 2008, 11:37
yes
Eww wet leaves
Eww spider
Ewww mud
Etc...

What does threaded actually look like?

He's on the right (http://www.threaded.com/images/tom_kristensen_and_threaded.jpg)

Pondlife
24th October 2008, 11:43
He's on the right (http://www.threaded.com/images/tom_kristensen_and_threaded.jpg)

You mean he isn't really a race driver for the Bentley Le Mans team. :bluelight

DiscoStu
24th October 2008, 12:07
Yes, I saw one last weekend, an 08 plate!

Will TPD become the largest internet forum thread ever?

A: There's one somewhere with about 1.5 million posts, but I'm too lazy to find it.

Q: Why won't it hurry up and be 5 o'clock?

gingerjedi
24th October 2008, 12:20
A: There's one somewhere with about 1.5 million posts, but I'm too lazy to find it.

Q: Why won't it hurry up and be 5 o'clock?

A: Because a watched kettle takes longer to boil.

Q: Where do sun beams end and star light begin?

bogeyman
24th October 2008, 12:23
A: Because a watched kettle takes longer to boil.

Q: Where do sun beams end and star light begin?

A: Threaded's arse

Q: What's the point of this thread?

tay
24th October 2008, 13:03
A - To make Tottenham feel better for having 2 points when this thread has only 1

Q - Why does Tottenham only have 2 points?

PM-Junkie
24th October 2008, 13:28
A - To make Tottenham feel better for having 2 points when this thread has only 1

Q - Why does Tottenham only have 2 points?

A - Because there is a god

Q - What is the solution to the Riemann hypothesis?

snaw
24th October 2008, 13:32
Q - What is the solution to the Riemann hypothesis?

a. Plenty of oil to maximise slipperiness!

q. What have I forgot to pack?

tay
24th October 2008, 13:32
A - Because there is a god

Q - What is the solution to the Riemann hypothesis?

A - The Riemann Solution

Q - Does you belly button up the rate of lint production as you get older, or do you just get slacker about harvesting it on a regular basis?

Ruprect
24th October 2008, 14:06
A - The Riemann Solution

Q - Does you belly button up the rate of lint production as you get older, or do you just get slacker about harvesting it on a regular basis?

Slacker.

Q. If Sidewalk is to Pavement, ______ is to backside?

Bob Dalek
24th October 2008, 14:18
-A beer

-Q how much work have you done today?

-A Quite a bit

-Q Who nicked my bloody expensive, limited edition Omega "First Man on the Moon" watch in 1989?

Spacecadet
24th October 2008, 15:19
-Q Who nicked my bloody expensive, limited edition Omega "First Man on the Moon" watch in 1989?

A - AndyW

What are tomorrows lottery numbers?

wc2
24th October 2008, 15:40
A - AndyW

What are tomorrows lottery numbers?

A I'll tell you on Sunday

Q Why do the french smell?

realityhack
24th October 2008, 16:41
A I'll tell you on Sunday

Q Why do the french smell?
A - If everyone in France smells (http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article96198.ece), no-one smells.

Q - How many Palestinians does it take to change a lightbulb?

BrilloPad
24th October 2008, 18:49
A - If everyone in France smells (http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article96198.ece), no-one smells.

Q - How many Palestinians does it take to change a lightbulb?

A - 6

Q - Why do doctors call what they do practice?

realityhack
24th October 2008, 20:04
A - 6

Q - Why do doctors call what they do practice?
FAIL - the (not politically) correct answer is:
Nothing - they just sit in the dark and blame it on the Jews.

A - Because they never stop learning.

Q - What has 4 legs and goes 'WOOF'?

BrilloPad
24th October 2008, 20:08
FAIL - the (not politically) correct answer is:
Nothing - they just sit in the dark and blame it on the Jews.

A - Because they never stop learning.

Q - What has 4 legs and goes 'WOOF'?

A - a dog covered in petrol after applying a match

Q - What are tomorrow night's lottery numbers?

realityhack
24th October 2008, 20:17
A - a dog covered in petrol after applying a match

Q - What are tomorrow night's lottery numbers?
:yay:

A - A randomised set of six natural integers.

Q - Where is the Ark of The Covenant?

BrilloPad
24th October 2008, 20:25
:yay:

A - A randomised set of six natural integers.

Q - Where is the Ark of The Covenant?

A - in my shed

Q - do you want to see it?

Diver
24th October 2008, 23:11
A - in my shed

Q - do you want to see it?

A - NO!

Q - Why does BP keep trying to lure me into his shed? :eek:

thunderlizard
25th October 2008, 08:49
A - His big brother put his Aerobie on a shelf that's too high for him to reach.

Q - What should I have for lunch today?

Diver
25th October 2008, 09:10
A - His big brother put his Aerobie on a shelf that's too high for him to reach.

Q - What should I have for lunch today?

A - Pot Noodle of course

Q - What is the meaning of life?

Board Game Geek
25th October 2008, 09:28
A. 42 of course ! Alternatively none.

Q. Sorry, I can't think of a question.

thunderlizard
25th October 2008, 09:35
A - Don't worry, that happens to the best of us sometimes.

Q - Jeffrey Dahmer or Geoffrey Palmer?

Diver
25th October 2008, 11:43
A - Don't worry, that happens to the best of us sometimes.

Q - Jeffrey Dahmer or Geoffrey Palmer?

A - Jeffrey Dahmer - He had taste :D

Q - How does one get a squashed waffle out of a dvd drawer?

Bob Dalek
25th October 2008, 15:13
A - Jeffrey Dahmer - He had taste :D

Q - How does one get a squashed waffle out of a dvd drawer?

A- Soaking long grain rice in white vineger and placing a florin under a badger's pelt will do the trick.

Q - How many apples in a barrel of grapes?

Nicky G
25th October 2008, 15:33
A- Soaking long grain rice in white vineger and placing a florin under a badger's pelt will do the trick.

Q - How many apples in a barrel of grapes?

A: None, stupid f---ing question.

Q: Rate this man out of 10:

http://www.titpig.net/

Diver
25th October 2008, 15:56
A: None, stupid f---ing question.

Q: Rate this man out of 10:

http://www.titpig.net/

A - 11

Q - why is a pumpkin

HairyArsedBloke
25th October 2008, 21:54
A - 11

Q - why is a pumpkin

A. Becasuse all relatives suck. (I don't have a clue what the question means either.)

Q. It is nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or should one take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing, end them?

Diver
25th October 2008, 23:10
A. Becasuse all relatives suck. (I don't have a clue what the question means either.)

Q. It is nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or should one take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing, end them?

A - a quick kick in the nads = no trouble

Q - When do the clocks go back?

wc2
25th October 2008, 23:20
A. When they are broken.

Q. Should I buy or Sell?

TimberWolf
26th October 2008, 04:15
Q. Should I buy or Sell?

A: Sell

Q: What's the answer to the next question?

Diver
26th October 2008, 04:19
A: Sell

Q: What's the answer to the next question?

A - Conundrum

Q - What was the last question?

:D

Bob Dalek
26th October 2008, 06:10
A: None, stupid f---ing question.

Q: Rate this man out of 10:

http://www.titpig.net/

Is that man your Mum?

daviejones
27th October 2008, 10:20
Is that man your Mum?

No, he is my sister.

How does the man that drives the snowplough get to work in the morning?

BrianSnail
27th October 2008, 11:13
No, he is my sister.

How does the man that drives the snowplough get to work in the morning?

A. Company car

Q. What came first - orange the fruit or orange the colour?

HairyArsedBloke
27th October 2008, 11:16
A. Company car

Q. What came first - orange the fruit or orange the colour?

A. Tony Blair created them at the same time.

Q. Where is that funny smell in my hallway coming from?

sasguru
27th October 2008, 11:22
Q. Where is that funny smell in my hallway coming from?

A. atW's anorak

Q. What is the meaning of it all?

BrianSnail
27th October 2008, 11:28
A. atW's anorak

Q. What is the meaning of it all?

A. The meaning of "it all" is - everything, the whole lot, the entire, complete.

Q. What did the AtW pie at Untouchable's party taste like?