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A Silver Lining and The Profits of Death

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    A Silver Lining and The Profits of Death

    Death rate boosts funeral profits


    An increase in unexpected deaths has helped boost half-yearly profits by a fifth at the UK's largest provider of funeral related services.

    Dignity, the UK's only listed funeral firm, said profits rose 19.7% to £15.8m in the six months to July.

    It came after the West Midlands-based firm said there was a 1.7% increase in the estimated number of deaths, which was slightly ahead of its expectations.

    Some 300,800 people died during the period, up from 295,800 a year earlier.

    The group continues to trade well and the board's expectations for the remainder of 2005 remain positive

    Richard Connell, Dignity chairman



    "The board's view on death rates continues to rely on government forecasts and its view on medium-term death rates remains unchanged," the company said.

    Dignity, based in Sutton Coldfield, carried out 36,000 funerals and 21,200 cremations over the period.

    It has 516 funeral homes and 22 crematoria and also provides pre-arranged funeral plans. Dignity has bought 10 new funeral homes in the past couple of months and continues to look for "new opportunities".

    The Co-operative is the UK's largest provider of funerals, but Dignity is the biggest in funeral-related services as it also offers funeral plans.

    Dignity's shares have performed strongly after launching for 230p in April 2004, and were up 0.45% at 391.75 pence in afternoon London trade on Thursday.

    "The group continues to trade well and the board's expectations for the remainder of 2005 remain positive," said chairman Richard Connell.

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/4248726.stm

    #2
    Surely they're facing *stiff* competition from the CoOp...
    Oh Jesus - Disaster Management Ltd.
    You know you'll need us!

    Comment


      #3
      Just goes to prove there are only two certainties in life: death and taxes. I aim to achieve the former before having to pay the latter!

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by ladymuck
        Just goes to prove there are only two certainties in life: death and taxes. I aim to achieve the former before having to pay the latter!

        Not so fast my Good Lady.

        I have transcended the latter on several occasions but still unsure as to whether I can transcend the former.

        Any tips JC ?

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by AlfredJPruffock
          Not so fast my Good Lady.

          I have transcended the latter on several occasions but still unsure as to whether I can transcend the former.
          I don't intend coming back if that's what you mean! Once I'm gone, I'm gone! Pushing up daisies and having my bones picked clean by rabid cats. (Yes, I am also that mad cat lady with the scary house)

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by AlfredJPruffock
            Not so fast my Good Lady.

            I have transcended the latter on several occasions but still unsure as to whether I can transcend the former.

            Any tips JC ?
            It's all in the hands of The Great Architect...

            I didn't ask to be the son of god you know!!! That crucifiction's a bloody pain as well!
            Oh Jesus - Disaster Management Ltd.
            You know you'll need us!

            Comment


              #7
              The house in Chav Lane that you can't sell?

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by ladymuck
                I don't intend coming back if that's what you mean! Once I'm gone, I'm gone! Pushing up daisies and having my bones picked clean by rabid cats. (Yes, I am also that mad cat lady with the scary house)
                Gone Today Here Tomorrow

                Nobody gets out of here alive M'Lady ... this much is true and the rest is lies , the Rose once bloomed, then forever dies.

                Ah , never heed the music of a distant drum , so take the cash in hand and run!
                Last edited by AlfredJPruffock; 15 September 2005, 15:39.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by steve'O
                  The house in Chav Lane that you can't sell?
                  Decided not to sell up. Going to trash it and fill the garden with fetid animal carcasses. By the time I cork it, it should be in a right state and then I can leave it to my nephew just to piss him off, the little b*stard.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by The Late, Great JC
                    It's all in the hands of The Great Architect...

                    I didn't ask to be the son of god you know!!! That crucifiction's a bloody pain as well!

                    Aye JC

                    Know the feeling JC, I mean I didnt ask to be a computer contractor when I should just be playing rock'n'roll piano... as for the crucifixtion, yeah that was rough to say the least.

                    Me and you
                    God only knows it's not what we would choose to do

                    Us and them
                    And after all we're only ordinary men

                    Down and out
                    It can't be helped but there's a lot of it about

                    With, without
                    And who'll deny it's what the fighting's all about



                    Out of the way, it's a busy day
                    And I've got things on my mind

                    For want of the price of tea and a slice
                    The old man died
                    Last edited by AlfredJPruffock; 15 September 2005, 15:52.

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