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Threaded does his bit for Anglo-Danish relations

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    Threaded does his bit for Anglo-Danish relations

    Went to look at a prospective house purchase in Dianalund and met my first two obnoxious Danish people. I've lived in Denmark for a good few years and always knew there were some deep dark secrets such as where do they hide the ugly women, and where do the nutters live, for example. I've traveled all over Denmark, and must admit I've never actually tried to search them out.

    Today I found not one, but two obnoxious Danish people and what is more, they are close neighbours and one appears to live in an adjoining property to the one I went to view.

    I drove out in one of my Italian tractors and the house is in a wildlife conservation area so not so much on a country road as at the end of a dirt track. Anyways my navigator failed me by not taking me to the front door an additional reason to drive slowly was because of the pot holes. Eventually reach a fork in the road so I had to stop and ask directions.

    I sees a guy out in his garden. Pulls up. Gets out and shows him the picture of the house. "Do you know where this house is?" I enquire.

    "This is not a race track." was the reply.

    "Wibble?" says I

    "This is not a race track."

    The chaps wife comes out.

    I show her the picture, "Do you know where this house is?" I enquire.

    She looks up the road and is starting to tell me when the man starts shouting at her. Another first for Denmark. I have not seen public domestic violence out here. Thought that was another peculiar English custom I would never have to witness again. Anyway the ladies eye movements where good enough directions for me and off I went.

    A few hundred meters further there was another fork in the road. Same scenario, except this time it was an older lady who started ranting about horses and children. Whether she liked them or disliked them I could not quite fathom. Decided that discretion was the better part of valour and took an educated guess as to which road to take.

    Now the garden for the house is 17213 sq m and heavily wooded so the chances of seeing the neighbour over the garden fence, so to speak, are vanishingly small.

    So my question to the congregation is: should I ask for a reduction in the price because of the loonie neighbours or do you think that would actually add value by having genuine banjo playing country inbreeds living next door to my country idyll?
    Insanity: repeating the same actions, but expecting different results.
    threadeds website, and here's my blog.

    #2
    It is quite clear that these strange people must have escaped from a Hans Christian Anderson tale. Don't worry it is bound to all end happily ever after.
    bloggoth

    If everything isn't black and white, I say, 'Why the hell not?'
    John Wayne (My guru, not to be confused with my beloved prophet Jeremy Clarkson)

    Comment


      #3
      Or you could creep into their homes one night and push them into ovens...
      "I can put any old tat in my sig, put quotes around it and attribute to someone of whom I've heard, to make it sound true."
      - Voltaire/Benjamin Franklin/Anne Frank...

      Comment


        #4
        That's nothing. I have decided to live in the Lone Gunman's potting shed. While LG's away I like to smear poo over his windows.

        Tonight I will be lurking in his Hydrangea bush disguised as a Black and White Minstrel.

        HTH
        Autom...Sprow...Canna...Tik banna...Sandwol...But no sera smee

        Comment


          #5
          No you aren't zeitghost. And she keeps inviting us to make it a small one. I could do that.
          bloggoth

          If everything isn't black and white, I say, 'Why the hell not?'
          John Wayne (My guru, not to be confused with my beloved prophet Jeremy Clarkson)

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by zeitghost
            Which songs will you be singing? Campdown Races by any chance?
            No, I sang Tiny Tim's 'Tip Toe Through the Tulips'. Mrs Gunman seemed very appreciative and left some broken digestive biscuits by the bush for my supper.
            Autom...Sprow...Canna...Tik banna...Sandwol...But no sera smee

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by threaded
              So my question to the congregation is: should I ask for a reduction in the price because of the loonie neighbours or do you think that would actually add value by having genuine banjo playing country inbreeds living next door to my country idyll?
              In Danish law are property sellers obliged to disclose formal disputes (i.e. which have come to law)? I think in the UK these days one is, but I'd ask your Danish conveyancer.

              If not I shouldn't worry - at least these rednecks are likely to keep themselves to themselves, unless they've got it into their head that they're somehow entitled to trespass on the property you plan to purchase.
              Work in the public sector? Read the IR35 FAQ here

              Comment


                #8
                Slave, mate, sometimes you scare me.

                Potting shed, hydranga and a wife who throws broken biscuits out (BTW they are for the birds not you).

                Glad I live abroad!
                Mrs Gunman is a crack shot too and has a nice arsenal of sniper weapons with night sites and dot scopes so beware!
                I am not qualified to give the above advice!

                The original point and click interface by
                Smith and Wesson.

                Step back, have a think and adjust my own own attitude from time to time

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by zeitghost
                  My Hydrangea bush died.

                  Maybe I was singing the wrong songs to it?
                  Lizard tulip is not good for any earth plants! Kinda like bitch (as in female dog) piss.
                  I am not qualified to give the above advice!

                  The original point and click interface by
                  Smith and Wesson.

                  Step back, have a think and adjust my own own attitude from time to time

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by The Lone Gunman
                    Mrs Gunman is a crack shot too and has a nice arsenal of sniper weapons with night sites and dot scopes so beware!
                    Don't I know it. Minding my own business this morning, quitely having a dump in the flower bed, when Mrs Gunman appears at a window and shoots me up the backside! Next she was shouting something about stealing bacon rinds and playing bongos at 3am. Well that's hardly the way to make a chap feel welcome, is it?
                    Anyway, just to show that I am grateful, I have decided to build a giant straw tulipsu at the bottom of the garden.
                    Autom...Sprow...Canna...Tik banna...Sandwol...But no sera smee

                    Comment

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