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The self-inflicted injury and DIY healing thread

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    The self-inflicted injury and DIY healing thread

    Inspired by EOs self-inflicted subcutaneous injury and subsequent gory and unremitting haemorrhage that could be stemmed only with a hasty posting to CUK for advice, what's the worst or stupidest injury you've ever sustained? It needn't have been self-inflicted though obviously stupidity resulting in self-harm carries more points than an injury occurring as a result of an unavoidable outside influence. We do not wish to hear about any deliberate attempts at self-harm.

    I was once separating two frozen lamb chop pieces with a knife when it slipped through with some force and into my hand. I estimated from the size of the puncture and from the width of the (pointy) knife that it must have gone almost all the way through my hand (though I could have overestimated just to make myself feel better). I didn't bother to seek medical assistance and it healed up nicely on its own. I may have used a plaster though.

    Use of DIY medications or self-healing approaches to treat injury, pestilence or disease increases your status considerably. Try not to be put off by the seemingly unbeatable goal of posting to CUK to seek medical advice.
    I once lanced a big swelling on my shin that came up after I knocked it, but I've posted about that before. Clear fluid came out like a fountain that offered immediate and considerable relief. I was cured.

    Points will be awarded for near misses that might have resulted in a serious or terminal conclusion (please keep puns related to banging the next door neighbour's wife as the husband comes home to a minimum)? Have you had any close shaves (likewise, please keep hair related puns to yourself if possible)?

    *Diver is excluded from this competition for obvious reasons.

    #2
    Many years ago, before I worked in IT I was a welder.

    I was working to fabricate a saftey handrail in the stairwell of a new hospital wing and had just finished the welding part of the handrail top to the stanchion post. As I was finishing the weld I was called from further down the stairwell, promptly stood up, leant over to see who had called me and placed my forearm right onto the place I had just welded.

    Luckily I was already at the hospital but came out of casualty with a fairly parallel 3rd degree burn right across my forearm.
    Sval-Baard Consulting Ltd - we're not satisfied until you're not satisfied.

    Nothing says "you're a loser" more than owning a motivational signature about being a winner.

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      #3
      My first car was a VW Beetle. You were always expected to work on your 1st car as it was character building and you could learn enough to save on garage bills and hopefully get yourself out of bother in a breakdown situation.

      It needed it's brake shoes replacing, so I put it up on axel stands (Health and Safety concious even then ) and changed the front ones without bother.

      On the rear, there was a trailing arm suspension, just a long iron bar really. I'd seen something else that might require attention (can't remamber what now, this was 25 years ago) so whilst lying under the car, used the iron bar to swing back on!

      Straight into the axel stand...

      Or more precisely the pin of the axel stand, which went into my skull about half an inch.

      Having cracked my skull a couple of years earlier in a cycling accident, I noticed the fluid coming out of my ear as a tell tale sign that I'd cracked it again. I did (as best I could) what they'd done to me at the hospital last time which was stap a gauze pad to my head with bandages.

      Well, I hadn't got a gauze pad, or any bandages. So improvising with a hankie and a belt strap, I effected a cunning device to stop the bleeding and settled down with a cup of tea and a garibaldi to recover.

      The recouperative powers of a cup of tea, now that's a thread of it's own!
      'elf and safety guru

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        #4
        Originally posted by TimberWolf View Post
        *Diver is excluded from this competition for obvious reasons.
        Where are we going? And what’s with this hand basket?

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          #5
          Having spent a couple of years in a commercial kitchen I have lots of injury stories

          Cut the end off the top of my finger chopping carrots, cue copious amounts of blood and swearing, mostly from the head chef who was most annoyed that I'd got blood all over the work surface and chopping board.

          Once slid a tray out of the oven a bit too violently, only to have it land on my inside forearms. I can still remember having to peel it off and watching the amount of skin it took with it

          I think my luckiest escape was when I was taking a rather large meat slicer apart and dropped the very heavy circular blade on my foot, sharp edge first. If I hadn't been wearing steel toe-caps I'm fairly sure I'd have one foot seriously smaller than the other
          ǝןqqıʍ

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            #6
            Originally posted by DiscoStu View Post
            Having spent a couple of years in a commercial kitchen I have lots of injury stories

            Cut the end off the top of my finger chopping carrots, cue copious amounts of blood and swearing, mostly from the head chef who was most annoyed that I'd got blood all over the work surface and chopping board.

            Once slid a tray out of the oven a bit too violently, only to have it land on my inside forearms. I can still remember having to peel it off and watching the amount of skin it took with it

            I think my luckiest escape was when I was taking a rather large meat slicer apart and dropped the very heavy circular blade on my foot, sharp edge first. If I hadn't been wearing steel toe-caps I'm fairly sure I'd have one foot seriously smaller than the other
            Yeah, kitchens are dangerous places. I worked in a kitchen when I was doing my 'A' levels, and one day I leaned on a hot-plate. It takes maybe a second or so to register searing heat and that was enough time to turn my fingertips white. Ouch.

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              #7
              On a skiing trip many years ago (my only one), we were skiing across a frozen lake. It was a lovely 'hot' day and not knowing any better I took my gloves off. About 10 minutes later I fell back and the way I was gripping the sticks my fists took the full force. Didn't feel a thing, got up and carried on skiing. One of my mates looked over and asked what I had done to my hands. I looked down and then noticed big holes just below each knuckle.

              Felt it later on that night when my hands had warmed up - still have the scars now !

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                #8
                Whilst getting my degree I used to work in an axle factory. One night I was working on the induction softening of the threads of a pinion gear. The pinion had a threaded end then a splined bit then some circular bits (bearing surfaces etc) on the non-geared end. They were heat treated to harden them but this making the threaded part too brittle this was then induction softened.

                I would place two of these in the machine at a time. Press button. Remove and place in rack. Upon picking two up one slipped and fell onto my forearm still obviously red hot. This left a burn for which i was sent up to the hospital to get checked out. The burn had left three seperate areas of cooked skin from each of the sections of the top end of the pinion and when I saw the doctor the doctor asked who on earth is Joe. I hadn't noticed up until this point but the burns from the seperate sections had marked me with what looked like the letters J-O-E on my forearm.

                And then theres the time i was walking along a wall as a kid and my dad was telling me to get down before i fall. Knowing better never listened to him. Fell off the wall scraping the skin off my inner thigh and still have scars (just about visible) from that now 20 is years on.

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                  #9
                  I was working on a radar set, it was a hot sunny day and I was perspiring freely. The 20kv unit arced onto my beak, right on the tip. The fright was worse than the injury.
                  I still have a tiny black dot on the end of my nose



                  (\__/)
                  (>'.'<)
                  ("")("") Born to Drink. Forced to Work

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                    #10
                    Whilst preparing the culinary delight of Cheese on Toast, I was using a cheese slicer on a fairly small lump of cheese, in which, the cheese slicer became embedded... Wrenching on the slicer as hard as I could immediately sliced through the cheese and indeed an inch long strip of my thumb, rendering the bone visible.

                    Unfortunately the house I was in was fairly low on medical supplies, so having done my best to stem the flow of blood with paper towel, I snatched off another sheet, put the flesh back into place and sellotaped the whole lot together.
                    Proud owner of +5 Xeno Geek Points

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