Universe to continue Expansion

[AlfredJPruffock]

The Universe is to continue its expansion at 3.8 per cent per second per second said an ashed faced scientist.

Gordon Brown warned the Government could not tolerate the Universe expanding ' in such a reckless manner' and promised prudent yet effective measures would be taken to avoid a reversal of Big Bang.

By the time you have read this sentence your house in a Parallel Universe has doubled in value.

[Mich the Tester]

The Universe is to continue its expansion at 3.8 per cent per second per second said an ashed faced scientist.

I don't think 'elf and safety would approve of that. Has the universe filled in a risk assessment form? Are all the correct insurance documents present? Has the expansion deceleration procedure been properly documented and rehearsed?

[AlfredJPruffock]

I don't think 'elf and safety would approve of that. Has the universe filled in a risk assessment form? Are all the correct insurance documents present? Has the expansion deceleration procedure been properly documented and rehearsed?

I know - these are the things that keep me up at night too Mitch.

Could it be that the Universe is - well - having a laugh ??

[Mich the Tester]

I know - these are the things that keep me up at night too Mitch.

Could it be that the Universe is - well - having a laugh ??

I’m pretty sure that if there’s intelligent life up there, they’re avoiding us because they’ve detected Radio 1 and decided we're not worth visiting. Any civilisation that can manage intergalactic transport has probably got economics licked too, so they’ll be splitting their sides at our current state of affairs.

[MPwannadecentincome]

Entropy!

[bogeyman]

I find this hard to believe.

My local branch of Universe has just shut down. Said they couldn't sell enough Dark Matter.

[AlfredJPruffock]

I find this hard to believe.

My local branch of Universe has just shut down. Said they couldn't sell enough Dark Matter.

Rumour has it the Crab Nebulae to be nationalised and I hear its not safe to walk the streets of Andromeda.

Dark Matter isn't such a worry - thought I cannot say the same for Dark Energy - just how far will it accelerate the remaining mass in the Universe - I mean is the Universe having a laugh ?

[FSM with Cheddar]

What is the universe expanding into?

Does that mean there is something the other side contracting?

If there is something on the other side that is contracting, then should we consider these alien contractors a threat to our market?

We need to stop the alien contractors before the EU makes us employ them. I say we upload a virus to the alien contractors mainframe.

[gingerjedi]

Its expanding too fast and you know what that means... Big crunch theory.

I'd like to see GB try and spend his way out of that one.

[robbie274]

The only way Flash Gordon will stop this rapid expansion is to tax it.

If taxation policies don't work then they will invent a crisis (something along the lines of Weapons of Mass Expansion) and they will fight it until its economy collapses, or ours does, again. I think thats what he will do.