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I've a monthly stakeholder meeting at 4PM.

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    #1

    I've a monthly stakeholder meeting at 4PM.

    1.5 hrs of inane drivel to discuss trivial concepts such as "progress to date" and "budget actuals".

    I've to present my recent go-live to a bunch of business stakeholders who really couldn't tell an idoc from an ipod and I want to try to shoehorn a few crap management phrases in to show that I've at least attempted to make meaningful communication with them.

    Your most crass suggestions please.
    Sval-Baard Consulting Ltd - we're not satisfied until you're not satisfied.

    Nothing says "you're a loser" more than owning a motivational signature about being a winner.
    Tags: None
    #2
    Synergise the team paradigm.
    Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

    Comment

      #3
      Originally posted by Svalbaard View Post
      1.5 hrs of inane drivel to discuss trivial concepts such as "progress to date" and "budget actuals".

      I've to present my recent go-live to a bunch of business stakeholders who really couldn't tell an idoc from an ipod and I want to try to shoehorn a few crap management phrases in to show that I've at least attempted to make meaningful communication with them.

      Your most crass suggestions please.
      Having such contempt for the people who are basically responsible for paying your fee isn't terribly wise.
      Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God? - Epicurus

      Comment

        #4
        Why not impale them on their stakes?

        Yes folks, I’m still in a bad mood after this morning’s meeting.
        And what exactly is wrong with an "ad hominem" argument? Dodgy Agent, 16-5-2014

        Comment

          #5
          Originally posted by Svalbaard View Post
          1.5 hrs of inane drivel to discuss trivial concepts such as "progress to date" and "budget actuals".

          I've to present my recent go-live to a bunch of business stakeholders who really couldn't tell an idoc from an ipod and I want to try to shoehorn a few crap management phrases in to show that I've at least attempted to make meaningful communication with them.

          Your most crass suggestions please.
          Ask Mich The Tester, he's good with words in meetings.

          Comment

            #6
            Originally posted by NotAllThere View Post
            Synergise the team paradigm.
            Aaarrrghh, now you die, scum, b@st@rd managementese speaking parasite!

            Calm down Mich, he’s only joking.
            And what exactly is wrong with an "ad hominem" argument? Dodgy Agent, 16-5-2014

            Comment

              #7
              "This is done in such a way that it dovetails with your own visions and ideas of the future"

              Comment

                #8
                "Maybe we're drinking from the wrong trough?"

                Dunno what it means, I just made it up.
                Cats are evil.

                Comment

                  #9
                  Originally posted by NotAllThere View Post
                  Synergise the team paradigm.
                  exltrapolate the quantum leap into blue sky horizons notwithstanding the out of the box bleeding edge.......

                  Comment

                    #10
                    You'll have to make X harmonise with Y in a synergistic format before you get all your ducks in a row!
                    'elf and safety guru

                    Comment

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