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Spare a penny mate? I need a wee.

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    Spare a penny mate? I need a wee.

    I know Ryanair charge for anything they possibly can, but this is taking the piss:
    http://uk.reuters.com/article/oddlyE...51Q1HH20090227

    #2
    I refer to use Ryanair any more....

    The ticket prices look cheap but by the time they've loaded every little penny they can squeeze out of you onto the price, it becomes expensive...
    'elf and safety guru

    Comment


      #3
      I looked at Ryanair last week, £15 to get where I wanted, £175 to get back (no cheap option on the return journey). Still cheaper than BA but not by as much as I thought.

      Comment


        #4
        I'd rather pay the extra on BA and not pay for all the extras RyanAir charge.

        That muppet that runs it seems to think he's operating a bus service rather than an airline.
        ‎"See, you think I give a tulip. Wrong. In fact, while you talk, I'm thinking; How can I give less of a tulip? That's why I look interested."

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          #5
          What next I wonder?

          - Gate fee (both ends)
          - Ramp fee (both ends)
          - Magazine fee (for those quality reads infront of you)
          - Seat fabric fee (otherwise you just sit on the solid plastic seat)
          - Seat recliner fee (silly me, they removed the recline facility to shove in more seats)
          - Cleaning fee (ensures that the staff have at least sprayed eau de cologne over the pool of sick left by the previous passenger)
          - Window view fee (windows are screened out by default - fee levied to remove screen)
          - Smile fee (if you actually would like the stewardesses to crack a half-smile)
          - Beauty fee (if you would like to see a half-good looking Ryanair stewardess)
          - Pilot competency fee (secures a pilot that can actually land the plane in fog)
          - Truth fee (gives you a 50% chance that Ryanir staff will tell you mostly the truth)

          Not sure I should have put this out: I can see Michael O'Leary seizing on some of these...
          "My God, it's huge!!"

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            #6
            I’ve found that invariably KLM turn out to be the cheapest for getting from NL to anywhere. The quoted price is often the highest, but the quoted price is the price you actually pay, without lots of tulip like fuel surcharges, baggage surcharges, fatty surcharges, urination duties and all the other rubbish some airlines like to charge you for.

            They also tend not to be filled up with chavs on their weekend drug trips to Amsterdam.
            And what exactly is wrong with an "ad hominem" argument? Dodgy Agent, 16-5-2014

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              #7
              "One thing we have looked at in the past and are looking at again is the possibility of maybe putting a coin slot on the toilet door so that people might actually have to spend a pound to spend a penny in future," he told BBC television.

              He said this would not inconvenience passengers travelling without cash. "I don't think there is anybody in history that has got on board a Ryanair aircraft with less than a pound."
              Yeah, everybody always travels abroad and return with pockets full of English money.

              What if you refuse to pay and threaten to wet the seat unless they let you in? Oh wait I can see the headline... "Pensioner shot as terrorist for wetting his pants"
              Originally posted by MaryPoppins
              I'd still not breastfeed a nazi
              Originally posted by vetran
              Urine is quite nourishing

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                #8
                Just to annoy them, you could take a bottle on board, pee in that and hand it to the stewardess to put in the bin. Even if they charge you for using the bin you'll have the pleasure of getting your own back.

                Alternatively, you could fly with a civilised airline.
                And what exactly is wrong with an "ad hominem" argument? Dodgy Agent, 16-5-2014

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                  #9
                  Why stop at charging for getting in to the cubicle? They could charge for toilet roll by the sheet, water for hand washing by the centilitre etc.
                  +50 Xeno Geek Points
                  Come back Toolpusher, scotspine, Voodooflux. Pogle
                  As for the rest of you - DILLIGAF

                  Purveyor of fine quality smut since 2005

                  CUK Olympic University Challenge Champions 2010/2012

                  Comment


                    #10
                    I shall shortly be launching a new budget airline; ‘scumair’. Rather than paying to travel, your fare will be paid for you and you will receive a reward of 5 pounds from wealthy sponsors who wish to see you suffer at the hands of our untrained staff.

                    The aisle carpet will be replaced with a trough running the length of the aircraft where you and your fellow passengers can do your ablutions, dispose of your pre-flight dinner and drown the screaming, puking babies that we guarantee to seat next to you. On board entertainment will consist of endless repeats of the Des O’Connor show interspersed with advertisements for Stannah stairlifts. You will be punched and jostled by our stewardesses, all selected from the Soviet Olympic Veterans shotput team.

                    Terms and Conditions
                    At the end of the flight random sums will be deducted from your 5 pound reward for the following unavoidable expenses;

                    - fuel surcharge
                    - ugly charge
                    - beauty charge
                    - odour charge
                    - trough tax
                    - stewardess’s fist massage expenses
                    - Des O’Connor’s royalties
                    And what exactly is wrong with an "ad hominem" argument? Dodgy Agent, 16-5-2014

                    Comment

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