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sasguru
17th March 2009, 14:31
http://www.bbc.co.uk/apprentice/

The usual bunch of thick numpties with outsize egos well in excess of their talent.

minestrone
17th March 2009, 14:34
I hate that program, it is funny how desperate they get for a job that pays an average wage for an IT contractor.

Doggy Styles
17th March 2009, 14:34
The usual bunch of thick numpties with outsize egos well in excess of their talent.Should make for another interesting series then.

What tasks would we at CUK set them?

oracleslave
17th March 2009, 14:34
"She admires the ballsy approach to business of Sex & The City's Samantha."

:rollin::rollin:

DimPrawn
17th March 2009, 14:35
Qualifications: BA (Hons) Economics & Business
Age: 22
Career: Trainee Stockbroker Hometown: Belfast


Belfast born and bred, Ben is the rebellious stockbroker who considers himself to be ruthless and money-obsessed. The former Gavin Henson lookalike is inspired by the Playboy brand and cites Hugh Heffner as one of his most admired business figures. Rugby-playing Ben admits to being 'cocky' but insists that he takes business very seriously. He is a young professional with what he describes as a raw hunger to make as much money as possible.

He says: "To me making money is better than sex."

Hey! He pinched that from my CV. :mad

Moscow Mule
17th March 2009, 14:39
I've never really liked the show. It's just like Big Brother, but with Surullen in the role of the British public.

Nobody can actually be going on the show to work for him anymore, it's all about exposure to launch a media career.

DimPrawn
17th March 2009, 14:40
Jeez, the ******* degrees these people have:

Masters Degree in Industrial Relations and Human Resource Management
BSc Economic History With Population Studies
BSc in Psychology and Management
BA in Music Management


Can't people get something useful like maths, physics, chemistry, biology?

Svalbaard
17th March 2009, 14:40
Refuse to watch anything like this out of sheer hatred for all who take part.

Drewster
17th March 2009, 14:41
Can't people get something useful like maths, physics, chemistry, biology?

Yeah! Like if they had a decent degree and real prospects of a job they would be desperate to get on this show!

DimPrawn
17th March 2009, 14:42
http://www.bbc.co.uk/apprentice/candidates/biographies/c_400010.shtml

Your typical friendly looking London gal.

:eek:

Doggy Styles
17th March 2009, 14:42
Can't people get something useful like maths, physics, chemistry, biology?Too f***ing hard for them, that's why.

Mich the Tester
17th March 2009, 14:45
Can't people get something useful like maths, physics, chemistry, biology?Why bother? They'll only end up as benched IT contractors.

Drewster
17th March 2009, 14:45
http://www.bbc.co.uk/apprentice/candidates/biographies/c_400010.shtml

Your typical friendly looking London gal.

:eek:

Yasmina was born in Hull and spent time living in Los Angeles and Iran before settling in London. Yasmina,........ describes herself as dominating

Well not quite typical London...

I've never met CM..... What does she look like exactly?

minestrone
17th March 2009, 14:46
http://www.bbc.co.uk/apprentice/candidates/biographies/c_400010.shtml

Your typical friendly looking London gal.

:eek:


She looks like one of the aliens from close encounters of the third kind.

:grey

sasguru
17th March 2009, 14:49
He says: "To me making money is better than sex."

Hey! He pinched that from my CV. :mad

You must be very disappointed with life then :laugh

foritisme
17th March 2009, 14:51
[QUOTE=DimPrawn;798723]Qualifications: BA (Hons) Economics & Business
Age: 22
Career: Trainee Stockbroker Hometown: Belfast


Belfast born and bred, Ben is the rebellious stockbroker who considers himself to be ruthless and money-obsessed. The former Gavin Henson lookalike is inspired by the Playboy brand and cites Hugh Heffner as one of his most admired business figures. Rugby-playing Ben admits to being 'cocky' but insists that he takes business very seriously. He is a young professional with what he describes as a raw hunger to make as much money as possible.

He says: "To me making money is better than sex."

Spot the virgin :D

sasguru
17th March 2009, 14:51
Apparently they've stopped mentioning the size of Suralan's fortune in this series :laugh:laugh

Mich the Tester
17th March 2009, 14:52
He says: "To me making money is better than sex."

:spel his only means for getting

Drewster
17th March 2009, 14:52
Apparently they've stopped mentioning the size of Suralan's fortune in this series :laugh:laugh

Only because the poor barsteward is down to his last £100mil.....

Lifes a b*tch

minestrone
17th March 2009, 14:54
"To me making money is better than sex"

Not the way I do it

Svalbaard
17th March 2009, 14:55
Wierdest looking person(?) ever...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/apprentice/candidates/biographies/c_400007.shtml

Drewster
17th March 2009, 14:56
"To me making money is better than sex"

Not the way I do it

Do you mean you are crap at making money???? Just asking!

sasguru
17th March 2009, 14:56
Only because the poor barsteward is down to his last £100mil.....

Lifes a b*tch

Isn't Suralan mainly in property nowadays? He's about to get considerably poorer :laugh:laugh

Mich the Tester
17th March 2009, 14:57
Wierdest looking person(?) ever...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/apprentice/candidates/biographies/c_400007.shtmlNo, this one (http://www.bbc.co.uk/apprentice/candidates/biographies/c_400018.shtml) Her jaw's somehow too big for a woman. Is this another fascist transsexual?

sasguru
17th March 2009, 14:58
Wierdest looking person(?) ever...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/apprentice/candidates/biographies/c_400007.shtml


Pretty strong competition from this one I would have said:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/apprentice/candidates/biographies/c_400014.shtml

DimPrawn
17th March 2009, 15:00
Pretty girls can marry into money. The munters have to fight tooth and nail to earn it.

minestrone
17th March 2009, 15:00
No, this one (http://www.bbc.co.uk/apprentice/candidates/biographies/c_400018.shtml) Her jaw's somehow too big for a woman. Is this another fascist transsexual?

This one has got a bit of a man chin as well.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/apprentice/candidates/biographies/c_400014.shtml

In fact there are 3 man chin women in the list

sasguru
17th March 2009, 15:01
Should make for another interesting series then.

What tasks would we at CUK set them?

See who would be first to top themselves on camera.

Mich the Tester
17th March 2009, 15:01
Pretty girls can marry into money. The munters have to fight tooth and nail to earn it.:spel swallow

Drewster
17th March 2009, 15:01
No, this one (http://www.bbc.co.uk/apprentice/candidates/biographies/c_400018.shtml) Her jaw's somehow too big for a woman.

".....Debra, was awarded 'mouth of the year' at her office Christmas party"

I love that sot of Xmas party!!

Did they do Shag of the Year and B*ttF*ck of the...

Rookie
17th March 2009, 15:02
This one has got a bit of a man chin as well.

In fact there are 3 man chin women in the list

3 man chin women? Reminds me of a holiday to Thailand. I still have nightmares.

minestrone
17th March 2009, 15:03
I don't really see any entertainment in a bunch of tossers shouting "No, I want to suck Suralan knob first" at each other for an hour.

Rookie
17th March 2009, 15:04
".....Debra, was awarded 'mouth of the year' at her office Christmas party"

I love that sot of Xmas party!!

Did they do Shag of the Year and B*ttflip of the...

WTF is "Mouth of the Year"? Should have been "Jaw of the Century" shirley!

Svalbaard
17th March 2009, 15:04
Pretty strong competition from this one I would have said:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/apprentice/candidates/biographies/c_400014.shtml

You are right. Let's agree that they are all ugly fu**wit no-hopers.

Drewster
17th March 2009, 15:06
You are right. Let's agree that they are all ugly fu**wit no-hopers.

No NO NO!! Lets take the Piss out of the Blokes first!!!!

Then....Let's agree that they are all ugly fu**wit no-hopers

minestrone
17th March 2009, 15:07
Here is a late entry http://www.bbc.co.uk/apprentice/candidates/biographies/c_400015.shtml (http://growabrain.typepad.com/growabrain/images/jaws_bond.jpg)

Svalbaard
17th March 2009, 15:08
No NO NO!! Lets take the Piss out of the Blokes first!!!!

Then....Let's agree that they are all ugly fu**wit no-hopers

No no, YOU can take the pi** out of the blokes as my life is too short to be spending it on any of these fuc*ers lol!!!!

Rookie
17th March 2009, 15:08
Here is a late entry http://www.bbc.co.uk/apprentice/candidates/biographies/c_400015.shtml

Nice hair though. Very Boardroom.

BoredBloke
17th March 2009, 15:09
I would (http://www.bbc.co.uk/apprentice/candidates/biographies/c_400013.shtml)

Rookie
17th March 2009, 15:11
I would (http://www.bbc.co.uk/apprentice/candidates/biographies/c_400013.shtml)

Yes, but would she?

Drewster
17th March 2009, 15:11
I would (http://www.bbc.co.uk/apprentice/candidates/biographies/c_400013.shtml)

She says: "My CV speaks for itself. I've always excelled academically and I have really achieved within a corporate environment across sales, marketing and a number of different aspects of business."

Well I see what you mean - but I would have to shut her up d*mn quick!

DimPrawn
17th March 2009, 15:11
I would (http://www.bbc.co.uk/apprentice/candidates/biographies/c_400013.shtml)

Christ on a bike!

She looks like she'd do anything to get that job!

Board Game Geek
17th March 2009, 15:12
Now imagine....the sweet dulcet tones of Janet Street Porter (http://www.bbc.co.uk/apprentice/candidates/biographies/c_400007.shtml)

Mich the Tester
17th March 2009, 15:13
Mother-of-two, Lorraine was born in London and left school at 16. Since then she has gone on to be the top sales person in every company she has ever worked for. Talkative Lorraine admits to having very little education and has endured many trials and tribulations throughout her life. She sums up her attitude to business as the ability to drive a dead horse to the winning line.
She says: "I've fought against all the odds. I'm a single mum with no education and I've had a very hard time.”

Yes Lorraine, so while you could have gone to nightschool or signed up for an Open University course, you’ve chosen to line up with 14 other people to suck up to a short fat Dave Lee Travis lookalike with pubes on his face.

Rookie
17th March 2009, 15:13
Now imagine....the sweet dulcet tones of Janet Street Porter (http://www.bbc.co.uk/apprentice/candidates/biographies/c_400007.shtml)

It looks like a photofit. Or where 3 photo's have been merged into one.

minestrone
17th March 2009, 15:14
Now imagine....the sweet dulcet tones of Janet Street Porter (http://www.bbc.co.uk/apprentice/candidates/biographies/c_400007.shtml)

Gordon Ramsey's chin.

Board Game Geek
17th March 2009, 15:15
It looks like a photofit. Or where 3 photo's have been merged into one.

Adobe Photoshop is a hard Master, and an even crueller Mistress.

PM-Junkie
17th March 2009, 15:19
There are some great quotes though....

"Without companies buying and selling there wouldn't be any economy."...brilliant. Must have taken him years of studying to work that one out then.

"Business is the new rock 'n' roll and I'm Elvis Presley" ...so a fat druggie who's in the pocket of doctors and the pharmaceutical companies then?

As someone else said - another bunch of egotistical idiots. I can't figure out why they are not on the board of a bank somewhere.

Mich the Tester
17th March 2009, 15:20
As someone else said - another bunch of egotistical idiots. I can't figure out why they are not on the board of a bank somewhere.yet

Board Game Geek
17th March 2009, 15:22
It's slow-motion car crash T.V., where the audience get to jeer at the gladiators, just like they did 2,000 years ago.

Nothing has changed much, apart from the epoch.

original PM
17th March 2009, 15:22
She says: "I've fought against all the odds. I'm a single mum with no education and I've had a very hard time.”

maybe she should have gone to school instead of skiving off to get boned by the nearest chav?

Ruprect
17th March 2009, 17:24
One of them's fecked off already before the cameras even started rolling...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7948783.stm

Churchill
17th March 2009, 18:07
Yasmina was born in Hull and spent time living in Los Angeles and Iran before settling in London. Yasmina,........ describes herself as dominating

Well not quite typical London...

I've never met CM..... What does she look like exactly?

She's lovely. Pop along to the next contractors do!

Clippy
17th March 2009, 21:55
Pretty girls can marry into money. The munters have to fight buck tooth and gnawed nails to earn it.

Amended.

ThomasSoerensen
18th March 2009, 00:24
This is a joke, right?

Are you guys seriously airing this on a channel other nationalities can see?

That lot is the ugliest saddest bunch of losers I have ever frikking seen.

If you have to have stupid people on TV, alt least have nice looking stupid people. This is barf TV.

TykeMerc
18th March 2009, 00:58
That lot is the ugliest saddest bunch of losers I have ever frikking seen.

If you have to have stupid people on TV, alt least have nice looking stupid people. This is barf TV.


It's the same sort of munters that are seen on all of the other reality TV series, but this one has a theme supposedly designed to appeal to the more educated amongst us. It doesn't alter the fact that reality shows are merely ritualised humiliation sold as entertainment.

Menelaus
18th March 2009, 08:21
Why on earth would these talent-free zones seek to obtain stardom by random public humiliation? I'm sure it's been mentioned before elsewhere but why are there no "real" degrees here like mathematics or physics - hell, even an engineering degree would do!

Drewster
18th March 2009, 09:12
She's lovely. Pop along to the next contractors do!

I might!
Subject to:
Bench time
Location
etc

Although my mental images built up of you lot might be totally shattered!

I only (knowingly and deliberately) met up with a "Virtual Friend/Mate/Associate/Nutter" from a Board once.......
and the sad, beardy, dandruff ridden (almost leporous), depressed Goth looking Techie Wierdo that turned up................................................ .................................................. .................................................. . Was me and the other blke was a nice guy!!! :wink:wink:wink

foritisme
18th March 2009, 09:25
It's the same sort of munters that are seen on all of the other reality TV series, but this one has a theme supposedly designed to appeal to the more educated amongst us. It doesn't alter the fact that reality shows are merely ritualised humiliation sold as entertainment.


It worked well in the first series, but since then the contestants have been more concerned about being on tv. Even Alan Sugar and is two side kids are enjoying the tv side of it too much.

Ruprect
18th March 2009, 09:39
I might!
Subject to:
Bench time
Location
etc

Although my mental images built up of you lot might be totally shattered!

I only (knowingly and deliberately) met up with a "Virtual Friend/Mate/Associate/Nutter" from a Board once.......
and the sad, beardy, dandruff ridden (almost leporous), depressed Goth looking Techie Wierdo that turned up................................................ .................................................. .................................................. . Was me and the other blke was a nice guy!!! :wink:wink:wink


You'll fit in well

teclo
18th March 2009, 11:50
http://www.bbc.co.uk/apprentice/candidates/biographies/c_400010.shtml

Your typical friendly looking London gal.

:eek:

Jesus Dim you couldn't have marked that as NSFW could you?

:eek

Platypus
18th March 2009, 12:25
Wierdest looking person(?) ever...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/apprentice/candidates/biographies/c_400007.shtml

That's your mum that is :D

Bagpuss
26th March 2009, 09:30
Pretty strong competition from this one I would have said:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/apprentice/candidates/biographies/c_400014.shtml

You would have said wrong, very wrong :laugh

sasguru
26th March 2009, 09:56
You would have said wrong, very wrong :laugh

Read the context. I meant in the non-"looks" stakes:grin

Clippy
26th March 2009, 11:39
Some serious munters in it this year - reminds me of the cantina scene in Star Wars.