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johnhol
19th March 2009, 12:50
Hello All.

I'm a new contractor amd have now setup my own ltd, website, email account etc etc though now looking at ordering some business cards.

Got the design, basic logo and content though struggling with a slogan.

I'm a Senior Tester/ Test Lead so anything testing/QA related.

Thought about:

Quality is never automatic.

Adding Quality and Confidence

But they sound worse the more i say them...the last one less though

Any advice (sensible) would be great.

DimPrawn
19th March 2009, 13:22
Much cheapness, plenty quickness.

Rookie
19th March 2009, 13:24
To me. To you. To me. To you.

Drewster
19th March 2009, 13:24
Any advice (sensible) would be great.

Don't do it!

Seriously - DON'T!!

zara_backdog
19th March 2009, 13:24
Ensuring quality delivered solutions



A group of managers were given the assignment to measure the height of a flagpole. So they go out to the flagpole with ladders and tape measures, and they're falling off the ladders, dropping the tape measures - the whole thing is just a mess. A tester comes along and sees what they're trying to do, walks over, pulls the flagpole out of the ground, lays it flat, measures it from end to end, gives the measurement to one of the managers and walks away.
After the tester has gone, one manager turns to another and laughs. "Isn't that just like a tester, we're looking for the height and he gives us the length."

Mich the Tester
19th March 2009, 13:24
To me. To you. To me. To you.I'll have you in court for copyright.

Bagpuss
19th March 2009, 13:25
It's good, but it's not quite right

voodooflux
19th March 2009, 13:25
Right up your quality street.

Churchill
19th March 2009, 13:26
Skegness - it's sh!te!

johnhol
19th March 2009, 13:27
Skegness - it's sh!te!

Not sure that's going to give the right impression, but thanks anyway :ohwell

Moscow Mule
19th March 2009, 13:31
Qualit├Ąt, Wert, P├╝nktlich

Mich the Tester
19th March 2009, 13:33
Hello All.

I'm a new contractor amd have now setup my own ltd, website, email account etc etc though now looking at ordering some business cards.

Got the design, basic logo and content though struggling with a slogan.

I'm a Senior Tester/ Test Lead so anything testing/QA related.

Thought about:

Quality is never automatic.

Adding Quality and Confidence

But they sound worse the more i say them...the last one less though

Any advice (sensible) would be great.They sound crap because they are crap. Slogans are crap. Testers know when stuff is crap and can prove it. Don't bother with a slogan. It'll only make other testers laugh.

Unless it goes along the lines of 'Testers can prove that your software is crap'.

ace00
19th March 2009, 13:34
To me. To you. To me. To you.

:laugh :rollin: :laugh

Svalbaard
19th March 2009, 13:34
We do QA every day,
But you're safe with us as we're not gay,
Wa'hay!!!

Royalties please.

Bagpuss
19th March 2009, 13:35
Is Scunthorpe, the only town with a **** in it?

DimPrawn
19th March 2009, 13:37
Is Scunthorpe, the only town with a **** in it?

No, Swindon's got one as well.

Churchill
19th March 2009, 13:40
Arbeit macht frei!

FSM with Cheddar
19th March 2009, 13:40
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Don't do it.

Mich the Tester
19th March 2009, 13:41
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Don't do it.Good one. Very appropriate for a tester.

Rookie
19th March 2009, 13:44
JohnholCo: We test the **** out of everything!

sasguru
19th March 2009, 13:44
John Hole Testing Solutions.
Taking you up the OXO Tower every time.

Zippy
19th March 2009, 13:46
AAAAAAAAAAAA Testing Solutions - No job too small

sasguru
19th March 2009, 13:48
Yoouuuuuu'll find us Testing !!

Bagpuss
19th March 2009, 13:48
You're the client and I'm the John?

lightng
19th March 2009, 13:48
If I've tested, you've invested.

sasguru
19th March 2009, 13:49
Hello? Hello? Testing 123 !

EternalOptimist
19th March 2009, 13:49
'Testeni, Testidi, Testes'



Translated from the vulgar Latin - 'I came to do the testing', 'I saw the test plan', 'I kicked testing @ss'





:rolleyes:

sasguru
19th March 2009, 13:50
Testes Testing! We prostrate ourselves before you.

lightng
19th March 2009, 13:50
'Your product is crap, and I'll tell you why'

Drewster
19th March 2009, 13:50
'Testeni, Testidi, Testes'



Translated from the vulgar Latin - 'I came to do the testing', 'I saw the test plan', 'I kicked testing @ss'


:spel bollox Shirley?

EternalOptimist
19th March 2009, 13:51
:spel bollox Shirley?

<cough>

sasguru
19th March 2009, 13:51
Putting the RAM into your programmers!

Churchill
19th March 2009, 13:51
:spel bollox Shirley?

Is that a verb?

Mich the Tester
19th March 2009, 13:51
'Your product is crap, and I'll tell you why'That's pretty close to the truth unfortunately, especially since developers starting doing all that CMMi crap.

Drewster
19th March 2009, 13:54
Is that a verb?

I bollox'd Shirley
You bollox'd Shirley
She bollox'd Shirley
They bollox'd Shirley
I would like to bollox Shirley

I guess so!

Bagpuss
19th March 2009, 13:55
Don't get me started on immigrants or house prices

NotAllThere
19th March 2009, 13:56
...

Any advice (sensible) would be great.

But extremely unlikely.

"Better than any permie"
"Kerching"
"Just give me the f...ing money"

lightng
19th March 2009, 13:57
I'm a picky b@stad, I am.

lightng
19th March 2009, 14:00
Infosys say 'winning in a flat world'. I say 'Doing better than most in a roughly spheroid world'. That's the difference testing makes.

Mich the Tester
19th March 2009, 14:00
Not only your software, but your permie staff are crap, and I can prove it.

DimPrawn
19th March 2009, 14:16
Testing everything except your patience.

NotAllThere
19th March 2009, 14:20
Putting the testes into testing.

Rookie
19th March 2009, 14:24
You make it. We break it.

DimPrawn
19th March 2009, 14:31
If it ain't broke, it's not tested.

PRC1964
19th March 2009, 14:41
This slogan intentionally left blank

fckvwls
19th March 2009, 14:44
Probably the best Tester in the world

Mich the Tester
19th March 2009, 14:45
Probably the best Tester in the worldexcept for me.

Rookie
19th March 2009, 14:45
except for me.

Pah! Call that a slogan?

Mich the Tester
19th March 2009, 14:46
Pah! Call that a slogan?
Good one!

johnhol
19th March 2009, 14:51
Love em all......

I like the "I'll test the **** out of it"

But I'll have to think about it....

Spending a couple of quid on some with "Adding Quality and Confidence" just to see what hey are like.....quality wise as well.

Will decide on a proper slogan if I have one at all when I get my site completed.

Andy2
19th March 2009, 15:18
testers R US

Diver
19th March 2009, 15:22
testers R US

:spel less

Board Game Geek
19th March 2009, 16:07
If you're an IT greybeard..

The Old Grey Whistle Test...

conned tractor
19th March 2009, 16:23
Here to test - So Fu(k (up) the rest

Ruprect
19th March 2009, 16:45
"You never regret a little test tickle"

foritisme
19th March 2009, 16:55
We'll Get Your Testing Done in No Time - 'cos were given no time to do it !

Board Game Geek
19th March 2009, 17:01
"Tested to Perfection"

"Best English Test"
"A1 Tasty Test"
"USA Kentucky Test"
"UK No1 Best Test"
"Classy Top Test"
"Dixy Test Best"
"Best BBQ UK Test"

(Ok, I admit it, I drove through Walthamstow a few weeks ago...that place must live off chicken alone)

Grinder
19th March 2009, 18:19
"Pay less for your testing... It will probably go wrong later anyway"