Well, having been summoned for jury service at great inconvenience to myself, I've now spent three days sitting in the waiting room twiddling my thumbs and haven't seen hide nor hair of any villains. The fcukers keep changing their pleas to guilty just as the trial is about to start.
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My advice is give them a fair trial ... then hang them.Originally posted by Lucifer Box -
Sitting around doing nothing all day at great public expense? Sounds like my job! Welcome, my friend, to the world of government contracting
But seriously, it's much better you spend your time reading a good book in a waiting room than filling your pants in front of some gangsta from Catford.Comment
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You should know by now, Alf, "hanging's too good for 'em."Originally posted by AlfredJPruffockComment
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Well, if you count £5/day subsistence money as great expense, maybe! That fiver is non-transferable and has to be spent in the provided canteen - today's gourmet delight was a vegetable spring roll dripping excess fat, with chips and beans. Jamie Oliver needs to forget sorting school kids out who only moan about it anyway and get onto sorting jurors' food out. Would you want someone trying to take in your defence who's just been fed a plate of fat, salt and sugar?Originally posted by voronSitting around doing nothing all day at great public expense? Sounds like my job! Welcome, my friend, to the world of government contracting
But seriously, it's much better you spend your time reading a good book in a waiting room than filling your pants in front of some gangsta from Catford.
You are, of course, right, Voron. I would indeed rather spend two weeks ploughing through my stack of books I've not read yet than end up having to flee the country after receiving Yardie death threats for not producing "the right verdict".Comment
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Cheer up it could just be a recruitment consultant up on charges for fraud. Think how much fun you'll have deciding the guilty plea before the evidence is presented.Originally posted by Lucifer BoxComment
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£5 p/d? That would be a rate increase for meOriginally posted by Lucifer Box
You're right about the food. What sort of concentration do they expect jurors to exhibit if they feed them crap? I expect they are more concerned with their exploding stomachs than the trial.Comment
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Look on the bright side, you could get something interesting. Never been on jury service myself (I am exempt as my electoral record shows me being over 70 years old for some reason, I decided not to correct them) but my father got a really intersting case of a farmworker accused of buggering his pigs.(Why is that a crime, eh? eh?)
He was a fearful religious prude and for decades afterwards we could make him go all red and stammering "Weren't you on jury service dad? what sort of cases did you get?"bloggoth
If everything isn't black and white, I say, 'Why the hell not?'
John Wayne (My guru, not to be confused with my beloved prophet Jeremy Clarkson)Comment
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A really interesting case would be a pig in the dock accused of buggering a farmer.Comment
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Performing a Vital Public Service
Well, I've now spent all week sat in the waiting room reading a book. It's like going on a long haul flight every day (except with worse food) and I'm absolutely cream crackered when I get home. Apparently they need me next week, presumably in the same way they "needed" me this week (i.e. to keep one of the chairs in the waiting room warm).
Mind you, the jury manager has absolutely massive knockers so it's not all a complete waste of time.Comment
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