Maybe this rant is really only directed at the stay-at-home ladies of leisure who live off hubby’s credit card and spend their days wafting between shoe shops and restaurants, but nevertheless, here’s how it works;
1 Sit down and read menu until you have chosen your meal
2 ask waiter for your chosen food and beverages
3 wait then eat then pay and sod off.
It isn’t;
1 Ignore menu while yapping loudly about those lovely shoes at Prada, Annabelle´s ugly but arty boyfriend and Josephine´s Brazilian wax.
2 Attract attention of spotty young waiter
3 When waiter comes, furiously read menu then discuss whether double cream´s really such a good idea, asking whether the fillet steak´s suitable for vegetarians and asking each other who wants chardonnay and who wants a sauvignon blanc.
4 Order eventually, but then change mind as a large carbonara might make it impossible to ever wear that ugly purple velvet dress you´ve just bought
5 push food around plate then swap dishes with one another
6 repeat process to order different wines.
7 Ask if the latte's made with skimmed milk and decaf, then order one with whipped cream
8 attract attention of spotty waiter then discuss who's paying for what and ask for seperate receipts
9 Leave 1 euro tip, made up of 10 and 5 cent coins.
Look, it´s lunchtime and people with jobs want to get in, eat, pay and f##k off again. Don´t waste the waiter´s time.
1 Sit down and read menu until you have chosen your meal
2 ask waiter for your chosen food and beverages
3 wait then eat then pay and sod off.
It isn’t;
1 Ignore menu while yapping loudly about those lovely shoes at Prada, Annabelle´s ugly but arty boyfriend and Josephine´s Brazilian wax.
2 Attract attention of spotty young waiter
3 When waiter comes, furiously read menu then discuss whether double cream´s really such a good idea, asking whether the fillet steak´s suitable for vegetarians and asking each other who wants chardonnay and who wants a sauvignon blanc.
4 Order eventually, but then change mind as a large carbonara might make it impossible to ever wear that ugly purple velvet dress you´ve just bought
5 push food around plate then swap dishes with one another
6 repeat process to order different wines.
7 Ask if the latte's made with skimmed milk and decaf, then order one with whipped cream
8 attract attention of spotty waiter then discuss who's paying for what and ask for seperate receipts
9 Leave 1 euro tip, made up of 10 and 5 cent coins.
Look, it´s lunchtime and people with jobs want to get in, eat, pay and f##k off again. Don´t waste the waiter´s time.
Comment