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Women; how it works in restaurants

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    Women; how it works in restaurants

    Maybe this rant is really only directed at the stay-at-home ladies of leisure who live off hubby’s credit card and spend their days wafting between shoe shops and restaurants, but nevertheless, here’s how it works;

    1 Sit down and read menu until you have chosen your meal
    2 ask waiter for your chosen food and beverages
    3 wait then eat then pay and sod off.

    It isn’t;

    1 Ignore menu while yapping loudly about those lovely shoes at Prada, Annabelle´s ugly but arty boyfriend and Josephine´s Brazilian wax.
    2 Attract attention of spotty young waiter
    3 When waiter comes, furiously read menu then discuss whether double cream´s really such a good idea, asking whether the fillet steak´s suitable for vegetarians and asking each other who wants chardonnay and who wants a sauvignon blanc.
    4 Order eventually, but then change mind as a large carbonara might make it impossible to ever wear that ugly purple velvet dress you´ve just bought
    5 push food around plate then swap dishes with one another
    6 repeat process to order different wines.
    7 Ask if the latte's made with skimmed milk and decaf, then order one with whipped cream
    8 attract attention of spotty waiter then discuss who's paying for what and ask for seperate receipts
    9 Leave 1 euro tip, made up of 10 and 5 cent coins.

    Look, it´s lunchtime and people with jobs want to get in, eat, pay and f##k off again. Don´t waste the waiter´s time.
    And what exactly is wrong with an "ad hominem" argument? Dodgy Agent, 16-5-2014

    #2
    I propose a new class system: those who work are more respected than those who don't.

    Nah, it'll never catch on.

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by zeitghost


      Separate.
      Luk owt, its the speling poleece!
      And what exactly is wrong with an "ad hominem" argument? Dodgy Agent, 16-5-2014

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by Mich the Tester View Post
        Maybe this rant is really only directed at the stay-at-home ladies of leisure who live off hubby’s credit card and spend their days wafting between shoe shops and restaurants, but nevertheless, here’s how it works;

        1 Sit down and read menu until you have chosen your meal
        2 ask waiter for your chosen food and beverages
        3 wait then eat then pay and sod off.

        It isn’t;

        1 Ignore menu while yapping loudly about those lovely shoes at Prada, Annabelle´s ugly but arty boyfriend and Josephine´s Brazilian wax.
        2 Attract attention of spotty young waiter
        3 When waiter comes, furiously read menu then discuss whether double cream´s really such a good idea, asking whether the fillet steak´s suitable for vegetarians and asking each other who wants chardonnay and who wants a sauvignon blanc.
        4 Order eventually, but then change mind as a large carbonara might make it impossible to ever wear that ugly purple velvet dress you´ve just bought
        5 push food around plate then swap dishes with one another
        6 repeat process to order different wines.
        7 Ask if the latte's made with skimmed milk and decaf, then order one with whipped cream
        8 attract attention of spotty waiter then discuss who's paying for what and ask for seperate receipts
        9 Leave 1 euro tip, made up of 10 and 5 cent coins.

        Look, it´s lunchtime and people with jobs want to get in, eat, pay and f##k off again. Don´t waste the waiter´s time.
        So have you taken to waiting on tables now that the economy has hit the skids
        Rule Number 1 - Assuming that you have a valid contract in place always try to get your poo onto your timesheet, provided that the timesheet is valid for your current contract and covers the period of time that you are billing for.

        I preferred version 1!

        Comment


          #5
          Mich the waiter.

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by TonyEnglish View Post
            So have you taken to waiting on tables now that the economy has hit the skids
            No, and I think suicide would be a better option.
            And what exactly is wrong with an "ad hominem" argument? Dodgy Agent, 16-5-2014

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by Mich the Tester View Post
              Maybe this rant is really only directed at the stay-at-home ladies of leisure who live off hubby’s credit card and spend their days wafting between shoe shops and restaurants, but nevertheless, here’s how it works;

              1 Sit down and read menu until you have chosen your meal
              2 ask waiter for your chosen food and beverages
              3 wait then eat then pay and sod off.

              It isn’t;

              1 Ignore menu while yapping loudly about those lovely shoes at Prada, Annabelle´s ugly but arty boyfriend and Josephine´s Brazilian wax.
              2 Attract attention of spotty young waiter
              3 When waiter comes, furiously read menu then discuss whether double cream´s really such a good idea, asking whether the fillet steak´s suitable for vegetarians and asking each other who wants chardonnay and who wants a sauvignon blanc.
              4 Order eventually, but then change mind as a large carbonara might make it impossible to ever wear that ugly purple velvet dress you´ve just bought
              5 push food around plate then swap dishes with one another
              6 repeat process to order different wines.
              7 Ask if the latte's made with skimmed milk and decaf, then order one with whipped cream
              8 attract attention of spotty waiter then discuss who's paying for what and ask for seperate receipts
              9 Leave 1 euro tip, made up of 10 and 5 cent coins.

              Look, it´s lunchtime and people with jobs want to get in, eat, pay and f##k off again. Don´t waste the waiter´s time.
              post of the week
              Let us not forget EU open doors immigration benefits IT contractors more than anyone

              Comment


                #8
                I'm turning into a grumpy old man in restaurants - two things that really pee off in restaurants are.

                - People who are not ready to order when asked by the waiter (having already said "can we have another 5 mins" 20 minutes ago). Now I make a point of attracting the waiters eye first at the earliest opportunity and saying yes we're ready to order and ordering, then directing the waiter either clockwise or anticlockwise around the table depending on where the indecisive straggler is sitting to maximise their decision making time.

                - Waiters giving me the bill and bogging off for another 20 minutes before I can attract their attention to give them my card, and then waiting another 20 mins for them to bring the payment terminal thingy. Now when given the bill I make a point of saying to the waiter "can you wait while I check this please and I'll give you my card" - waiting is their job after all. I guess maybe I should just stick to using cash (but never seem to have any on me).

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by moorfield View Post
                  Waiters giving me the bill and bogging off for another 20 minutes before I can attract their attention to give them my card, and then waiting another 20 mins for them to bring the payment terminal thingy. Now when given the bill I make a point of saying to the waiter "can you wait while I check this please and I'll give you my card" - waiting is their job after all. I guess maybe I should just stick to using cash (but never seem to have any on me).
                  +10 on this.

                  I like to pay and go as soon as I've finished.

                  Usually have to wait until the waitress can be arsed to come and offer you coffee or pudding. You tell them you'd just like the bill. 20 mins later you get said bill. 20 mins later they collect the bill with your credit card and/or large note(s). 20 mins later they bring you your change and/or card. Total time to pay and leave is 1 hour.

                  It's OK if you're Italian or French and you've nothing better to do than sit in the cafe drinking strong coffee or Pernot and smoking Gaullois and eyeing up young girls. In Britain we have to work!
                  Cats are evil.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by Mich the Tester View Post
                    Maybe this rant is really only directed at the stay-at-home ladies of leisure who live off hubby’s credit card and spend their days wafting between shoe shops and restaurants, but nevertheless, here’s how it works;

                    1 Sit down and read menu until you have chosen your meal
                    2 ask waiter for your chosen food and beverages
                    3 wait then eat then pay and sod off.

                    It isn’t;

                    1 Ignore menu while yapping loudly about those lovely shoes at Prada, Annabelle´s ugly but arty boyfriend and Josephine´s Brazilian wax.
                    2 Attract attention of spotty young waiter
                    3 When waiter comes, furiously read menu then discuss whether double cream´s really such a good idea, asking whether the fillet steak´s suitable for vegetarians and asking each other who wants chardonnay and who wants a sauvignon blanc.
                    4 Order eventually, but then change mind as a large carbonara might make it impossible to ever wear that ugly purple velvet dress you´ve just bought
                    5 push food around plate then swap dishes with one another
                    6 repeat process to order different wines.
                    7 Ask if the latte's made with skimmed milk and decaf, then order one with whipped cream
                    8 attract attention of spotty waiter then discuss who's paying for what and ask for seperate receipts
                    9 Leave 1 euro tip, made up of 10 and 5 cent coins.

                    Look, it´s lunchtime and people with jobs want to get in, eat, pay and f##k off again. Don´t waste the waiter´s time.
                    How dare people use restaurants as somewhere to meet friends and socialise, rather than to cram in food and leave ASAP.
                    Originally posted by MaryPoppins
                    I'd still not breastfeed a nazi
                    Originally posted by vetran
                    Urine is quite nourishing

                    Comment

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