A serious one for a change...
My father in law recently retired, and has embraced retirement with gusto. He bought a computer (big step for him), I set it up for him and he set about writing a book he'd wanted to for years. All fine and dandy.
However, over the last year, his memory has deteriorated rapidly. When he first started forgetting (quite important) things, I had a quiet word with him. He agreed with me that it was a problem, and I said there's medication the GP can prescribe nowadays that can tackle this depending on the diagnosis - and that it was important to get treated early, as (if it's) Alzhiemer's, early treatment can prolong a patient's useful cognitive life for many years. He seemed to agree this was sensible.
He's one of those 'don't see a GP unless your arm's falling off, and even then, try a band-aid first' types, and has put the GP thing off. We've gently approached the topic once or twice since then, but only gently. All the while, it has become progressively worse, and his decline is accelerating by the week.
Today, he visited Mrs RH and was interested in the new bikes we had, said they were lovely and all that, asked why we got them etc. Problem is, he did exactly the same 2 days ago. Today he said this was the first time he'd seen them. Mrs RH brought up the memory loss on the back of this - he got upset and said 'he doesn't want to know, it's just the way it is and he doesn't want to see a doctor' and wants it left that 'if we notice anything else, he doesn't want it mentioning, and doesn't want to know about drugs etc'.
This change in his attitude is disturbing. On the one hand, I'm inclined to say 'well, it's his life and his perogative. If he doesn't want treatment then fair enough, he's his own man'. On the other, in the light of his desire to write, the extra years treatment could give him to do this, and the (selfish motive alert) longer he can remain cogent to be around us, see his potential grandchildren, and not be a (really selfish motive alert, for which I feel guilty) care burden on the family.
What would you do? Just leave it?
Anyone else been in a similar situation?
Your thoughts appreciated.
RH
My father in law recently retired, and has embraced retirement with gusto. He bought a computer (big step for him), I set it up for him and he set about writing a book he'd wanted to for years. All fine and dandy.
However, over the last year, his memory has deteriorated rapidly. When he first started forgetting (quite important) things, I had a quiet word with him. He agreed with me that it was a problem, and I said there's medication the GP can prescribe nowadays that can tackle this depending on the diagnosis - and that it was important to get treated early, as (if it's) Alzhiemer's, early treatment can prolong a patient's useful cognitive life for many years. He seemed to agree this was sensible.
He's one of those 'don't see a GP unless your arm's falling off, and even then, try a band-aid first' types, and has put the GP thing off. We've gently approached the topic once or twice since then, but only gently. All the while, it has become progressively worse, and his decline is accelerating by the week.
Today, he visited Mrs RH and was interested in the new bikes we had, said they were lovely and all that, asked why we got them etc. Problem is, he did exactly the same 2 days ago. Today he said this was the first time he'd seen them. Mrs RH brought up the memory loss on the back of this - he got upset and said 'he doesn't want to know, it's just the way it is and he doesn't want to see a doctor' and wants it left that 'if we notice anything else, he doesn't want it mentioning, and doesn't want to know about drugs etc'.
This change in his attitude is disturbing. On the one hand, I'm inclined to say 'well, it's his life and his perogative. If he doesn't want treatment then fair enough, he's his own man'. On the other, in the light of his desire to write, the extra years treatment could give him to do this, and the (selfish motive alert) longer he can remain cogent to be around us, see his potential grandchildren, and not be a (really selfish motive alert, for which I feel guilty) care burden on the family.
What would you do? Just leave it?
Anyone else been in a similar situation?
Your thoughts appreciated.
RH
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