Stool softner

[BolshieBastard]

You know that those women advertise on tv.

Does it work!?

[cojak]

Yep...

Need to drink a lot of water as well, mind...

[Cliphead]

What's wrong with a curry and pints?

[expat]

What's wrong with a curry and pints?

That would be the Stool of Repentance.

[oraclesmith]

Norovirus is working for me...

[hyperD]

"Stool Pigeon, ow ow ow ow"

Well, a certain Mr Cooper's slogan surely was:

"Stools out for summer"

although I'm not sure about the line:

"no more pencils, no more..."

as I've found those to be a cheaper and more readily available alternative to the extraction device employed by an enthusiastic, large chested nurse.

[RichardCranium]

Real ale.

Sorted.

The yeast must be live.

(Or a curry with a boiled egg in it).

[Churchill]

8 pints of Guiness and a trip to Bali - You'll never tulip solid again.

ten days in bali, got four days to go
ten days of terror cos im glued to the throne,And im tuliptin' in litres and firin' both ends,i'll never tulip solid again.


And its cost me a fortune for this holiday, stead of pissin' it up, christ, im tuliptin' it away.
cause im glued to the loo while my mates are out ragin', i'll never tulip solid again.

I'll never tulip solid again,
or hold anything down for aslong as i live, cause me arse is jammed open from freckle fatigue, i'll never tulip solid again.

I called mum back home, she sed mix up a cup. of cornflour and gravox to thicken it up, then she pissed her self laughin and hung up the phone, i'll never tulip solid again.


Just had a crap and im wipin me ring, havent quite finished, start spewin' again, Jesus, hope i remember to use the right hand, i'll never tulip solid again.

i'll never tulip solid again, so i'll rig up a faucet to stick up me ring, at least wen i fart i wont splatter me jeans, i'll never tulip solid again.

I'm doin' cartwheels as i try to guess, a crap or a chunder- christ whats comin' next, will it spray through me fingers or run down me leg, i'll never tulip solid agen.

slipped on some tulip a foot thick on the floor, skid arse over tit, then i spewed a bit more, Now i gotta sift through it cause me denture fell in, i'll never tulip solid agen.

I'll never tulip solid again, me rings hangin' out n me guts have caved in, i'll be buried in a bucket and me mates will all sing- "he'll never tulip solid again"

[Shimano105]

Or fuit, veg and water i.e. a better diet? Nah, that's stupid.

[hyperD]

Hi Zeity - been lurking more than posting! And blogging.